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Then, I guess I read the signs correctly
Sun Feb 6, 2011 13:53

We live in a multi-cultural, multi-lingual, multi-racial
society where people like myself from rural areas are
transported to mass conditions in the army, in university,
and finally in big cities. All the while we are expected to
relate to others in large companies and be productive at the
same time.

In doing this, over time, those of us who are more perceptive
come to realize that our technical knowledge and our social
skills have been deliberately placed in an array of separate
mental compartments which are tied together by "managers" on
the job and various "advisors" off the job. If we are on
our own and don't have the necessary "programming", we don't
know how to relate smoothly and without offense.

What often happens is that we irritate or hurt someone with
light conversation or common street jokes that we had no
idea would cause problems. And, the reason is that we have
no cultural background in that "grey" area of which we are

Currently I am in an ongoing, but temporary situation where
the other person made it clear early on that her dogs are
her "children" by showing me a picture on her desk of her
partner and her dogs. I am concerned about the possibility
of inadvertently "saying the wrong thing".

I sort of think that if I had grown up in a large city and
had gone to a large high school I would have been better
prepared for the subliminal nuances of appropriate behavior
in such unfamiliar contacts.

Any words of wisdom?

  • That's an easy one. :)OldCM, Sat Feb 5 09:30
    I have had a partner for 19 years. I have also identified a lot with Henry Higgins from My Fair Lady and his song "I'm An Ordinary Man" in which he vows to "never let a woman in my life". :)
    • Then, I guess I read the signs correctly — cc, Sun Feb 6 13:53
      • FWIW, just relax about it...Siã☀©◔̯◔, Mon Feb 7 00:28
        Treat her like you'd treat any other "off limits" woman you might meet... IOW, treat her with the same respect and boundaries that you'd treat a married co-worker... Don't be too friendly or too... more
      • Well ...OldCM, Sun Feb 6 14:50
        ... try not to get involved with her in small talk, keep your conversation professional, and you shouldn't get yourself in trouble. As far as words of wisdom go, well, I never claimed to be a "wise... more
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