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Siã☀©◔̯◔
FWIW, just relax about it...
Mon Feb 7, 2011 00:28
70.109.137.37

Treat her like you'd treat any other "off limits" woman you might meet... IOW, treat her with the same respect and boundaries that you'd treat a married co-worker... Don't be too friendly or too chilly... If you like her & must or choose to interact, then be friendly... If you don't care for her or she deliberately makes you uncomfortable, then just be polite... If she is a friendly sort and yaps to you about her personal life, listen (or don't) exactly the same as you might listen to anyone else discussing personal stuff... If you don't do that with anyone else, don't do it with her...

and keep in mind that sensitivity to someones feelings isn't a one way street... Someone taking advantage of your good nature by deliberately making you have to walk on eggshells so as not to say the "wrong thing" that might hurt her feelings isn't right either... If people want to be treated equally and like they are just like everyone else, then they need to treat others with the same respect (IOW, don't use their differences as a tool to provoke a reaction) and if they want to be treated "just like everyone else", then they shouldn't expect special treatment as if they are special & different or more fragile than everyone else...

If there's an awkward moment sometime, just be honest and perhaps even use humor to laugh about yourself feeling slightly awkward ... Chances are the woman is reading your weirdness with her as something other than simply concerns about not offending her so might be a bit defensive if she's aggressively pushing things at you as if to dare you to say something ... That's not fair to either of you... In that case, just spit it out that you feel awkward and worried about inadvertently offending her...

My best advice, treat her and the whole situation like it's no big deal and sooner or later it will become no big deal to you... THAT'S all that most folks actually want from others--- Respectful acceptance of them as people and to be treated by society just like everyone else is treated... If she insists on special treatment or everyone using their kid gloves with her then steer clear of her as much as possible because you'll never get it right & will be awkward all the time... But that'd be her problem, not yours...

Sorry for buttin' in... I've had a bit of experience dealing with similar situations and had some specific training to go along with it...

Hope that helps? (-;

  • We live in a multi-cultural, multi-lingual, multi-racial society where people like myself from rural areas are transported to mass conditions in the army, in university, and finally in big cities.... more
    • FWIW, just relax about it... — Siã☀©◔̯◔, Mon Feb 7 00:28
    • Well ...OldCM, Sun Feb 6 14:50
      ... try not to get involved with her in small talk, keep your conversation professional, and you shouldn't get yourself in trouble. As far as words of wisdom go, well, I never claimed to be a "wise... more
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