I guess I've flunked.
Fri Nov 8, 2013 17:12

Niccolò released her, and without realizing it, Alexandra retracted, taking a couple slow steps back as she rubbed the ache out of the shoulder his dominant hand had gripped, the one that hurt more. A train wreck of protest fell from his lips, saying that he never would, but all she could think was, But you already did. The way he grabbed her was terrifying yet oddly familiar, though no one had ever laid a hand on her.

She wondered how many others had loved and hated like this. Had her parents fought? Did her father ever hurt her mother, accidentally or otherwise? This was resistance, and she could not help but be curious if anyone else had ever dissented. The blonde could not possibly be the first. Maybe the relationship was unique—she could hardly imagine many girls made the exhilarating, wonderful mistake of getting involved with their sister’s fiancé—but the struggle was old. At its core, it was simply man against woman.

And she hated that. She hated being “against” Niccolò. They had always been on the same side ever since she could recall knowing him (what was life without him?) and was not adjusting well to this sudden change in situation. And the way he begged her, the way he looked at her, like an injured animal waiting either for a helping hand or the final blow! ”If you love me, then just say yes, just be with me. If you don’t… then just tell me, treat me with some respect and just tell me. I’ll leave you alone… I promise I’ll go.” She could not stand it!

Her small body screamed silently, yearning for his touch, his hand, his lips. She wanted to tell him the truth and knew he deserved to hear it, but her mouth opened, and her words caught in her throat, inspiring a choked cough. She loved him, but it was not as simple as he said. Love was not the only thing that mattered; love mattered very little in the real world. It never really had.

“Niccolò…” she had said his name a thousand times it seemed, and each was different, felt farther off, like she was slipping away, down an aisle of her future that did not lead to him. Merlin, how she wanted it to. “I can’t-…. We can’t-….” Her voice broke, almost squeaking at the end. Her blue eyes averted. “I can’t,” she said decisively.

Alexandra spun away from him, and without turning her head, she softly added over her shoulder, “I think I had better go now. Goodbye, Niccolò.” Tears began to once more dot her cheeks, and she took a step away. Then another. And another. Her feet were slow, though her heart beat fast. Adeus, meu anjo. Eu amo você.

  • You're a terrible student.Niccolò, Wed Nov 6 23:10
    The night had started off terrifying, so promising, and the scent of hope was a little like gasoline; overwhelming and maybe a little foul, but undeniably powerful and clung to the skin, and if a... more
    • I guess I've flunked. — Alexandra, Fri Nov 8 17:12
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