It's a skill that doesn't seem to fade over time.
Wed Jun 18, 2014 03:56

Amelia struggled within herself, wanting to interrupt Aerin's unnecessary apology but knowing how futile attempts to stop her talking could be. Aerin had done absolutely nothing wrong. Amelia planned to tell her so, as soon as she could find the words. But first, Aerin concluded with an offer of tissues, which required a new strategy.

Evidently confused hands weakly touched slightly dampened cheeks, and their porcelain owner facially illustrated surprise at the wetness. The blonde faked it, and perhaps to someone like Aerin who knew her--or once knew her--so intimately it would be clear, but she wanted to appear unscathed, not understanding why tears would plague her. What were tears to a Knight, who had everything a girl could want: wealth, power, more wealth, connections, blood status, and even more wealth? Everything that mattered.

Except freedom. And love. You know, things that actually matter.

To respond to Aerin's words, Amelia first inhaled deeply, as if the air around her held insights she required and could obtain if only she could breathe long enough. "Please don't feel guilty about any of it," she began hesitantly. "You made no mistake. And please believe me that if I could have told you... If I wasn't..." But words faltered, and she again forced inhalation.

"Maybe leaving me to deal with things is the best thing you can do," stated the seventh year bluntly. "You know what my family is like. You know what my world is like. It's horrible. It'd be better for you to get out and stay out now." Amelia dared make eye contact, and while initially difficult, she found herself trapped in the familiarity of the green eyes before her, and for the first time in a very long time, she almost felt safe. Almost.

"Aerin, you don't know.... I've done some.... I'm not who I used to be. I don't know if I ever can be again, which is a shame, because I liked who you helped me be." Her words grew faster and faster, as if they needed to erupt or else be lost forever. "But there's a lot of things you don't know and I cannot tell you and probably should not even if I could, because you would not know what to make of me anymore. I'm just like my family. I was born of sin and I'll die of sin, and there's just no hope in changing it."

Blue eyes blinked and were momentarily stolen from their green counterparts. "If you want to get gone and stay gone, I would not blame you," she concluded before once more drooping her head. There were so many things she wanted to say but could not, both for pride's sake and for magic's barriers. Her tongue prickled, begging her on but only able to add, "I would not blame you at all."

  • Actually, it's been a while.Aerin, Wed Jun 18 00:17
    I really ought to clean up this bag more often. What had started out as an optimistic search had turned into a frustrating hunt of despair. Aerin knew she had a bandage from the infirmary in her bag. ... more
    • It's a skill that doesn't seem to fade over time. — Amelia, Wed Jun 18 03:56
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