Sat Dec 21, 2013 21:26

Zakir stiffened in surprise when Riley’s arms captured him in an embrace. For a long moment, he remained ridged, unsure if he wanted to pull away or accept the unexpected contact. If you want more than a half life, I can help you. The words caused a small part of him to flutter wildly, desperate for the promised freedom, but the desire crashed against the scars branded over his heart from his father’s betrayal.

Hadn’t he already attempted defiance? And look where that ended. His whole life torn to shreds and nearly losing his mind from the overwhelming guilt. My father is dead because I wanted free of the path he would have forced me to walk, and the Yorks…

Zakir closed his eyes and sank deeper into the hug. The death grip he had on the side of the pool fell away, and he trusted Riley to keep him from sinking as he wrapped his arms around his fellow Lyra. “Freedom.” The word burned his throat with the potent mix of emotion it carried. Desperation, sorrow, pain, dejection, and longing. “I don’t want them to hate me,” he admitted. “When my f-, when Miano…died, the Yorks saved me. They had given me away to a pair of strange mud…strange muggleborns, but the Yorks chose to adopt me instead. They didn’t have to do that. I still don’t know why they saved me.” Trembles wracked his small form while he whispered his confession. “I promised not to bring shame to their family Riley. I promised.”

He was as bound now as he’d been with his father. Bound to expectations, to obligations and the single truth that the family is more important than the individual. Perhaps if his situation had been similar to Sabastian’s, where his lover was a muggleborn and if he came out they could be happy together it would be different. But that wasn’t the case. If he was disowned by the Yorks, he would lose the one he loved. Even though Zakir knew he would only ever be second in Niccolò’s affections, and at times not even that, the thought of no longer being even friends was unacceptable. “I-I’m not strong enough to throw everything away on the slender chance that I might someday be happy.” His eyes burned and he felt a thread of liquid fire spill down his water cooled cheek.

  • ...Uh oh!Riley, Tue Dec 17 14:39
    Riley, would’ve told Zakir all about Sebastian Edwards if the boy had asked, and he wouldn’t have felt bad at all. He had wanted to out Sebastian since they had broken up, even if it was just to... more
    • ... — Zakir, Sat Dec 21 21:26
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