((Terri's work again - I'm just the brain behind her))

From the Personal Files of Terri Ryan, Department of Personnel

Well, I've been issued an informal warning by the R&R Division. Apparently my justification for breaking the structure of my last review was insufficient, and I failed to mention sufficient items. I'll try to do better this time. I'm going to be using a primarily chronological structure, with one alteration to fit the recommended Good-Bad-Good pattern.

Mission: PPC Crusade/The Crusader King
Agents: Arthur Briggs and Lynn Gillies, DMS

Straight off the mark, this mission was highly immersive. Just after the agents receive their mission, we see the following exchange:

You’re the only one in this RC with canon knowledge, which makes you primary agent for this mission.”

“Me?” Gillies squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again. “But I’m not a full agent yet.”

“That doesn’t matter. The Duty is what’s important, and in this case you’re best suited to perform it."

This simple dialogue gives me a perfect feel for the agents. I could immediately contrast Gillies, squeaking and uncertain, with Briggs, saying 'the Duty is what's important'. The former is still settling into the PPC, while the latter, with his military background, is right at home. I immediately felt I knew the pair of them - and that I cared about what happened to them. All from a few lines of dialogue that let character flow through.

I also found myself drawn in in a different manner. This mission didn't feel like it took place in isolation: it was firmly part of a larger world. Two examples:

“In that case, you program the disguises while I visit the Canon Library."

and

[Present Tense Detected. Revert Agents To Past Tense Y/N?]

Briggs sighed as the reset took effect. “Much better. Once you make full Agent, see if you can talk DoSAT into adding a tense stabiliser to your CAD.”

Now, I'm not just quoting these because of my affection for the subjects of them, although that certainly plays a part. The Canon Librarian is a lot like me, insofar as I know anything about him, so it's good to see him getting some attention. The tense stabiliser first appeared on DOGA-modified CADs - I didn't realise it had gone into mass production. But that's not the point here.

The point is, I really get a feel for how the wider world of HQ impacts on this agent pair. I can now imagine them having friends and enemies, favourite haunts and secret shortcuts - not because of anything I know about them, but because their narrative so casually drops in pieces of their - our - world. This is clearly something they are intimately involved with, not just sitting on the outskirts of.

Oh, and it helps that they mention DOGA later by name. Pyro Department, getting the love.

Unfortunately, not everything is positive. While character-defining moments like my first quote exist, they are swamped by the fact that much of the dialogue can be split into two categories: charges, and infodumps.

Charges are important, we all know that, but there is more to a mission than the charge list. What I want to see is the agents' reactions to what happens, not simply the pigeonhole they slot it into. At its worst, this report descends into merely ticking boxes - literally, in fact, since Briggs is described as 'checking off' Thesaurus Abuse. This does not make for fascinating reading, unfortunately, and it foreshadows another problem: the entire list is quotes at the end, in massive block quotes.

There are two issues here. Firstly, how to deal with charges? I believe they don't all need to be mentioned. It is assumed that there is a list - that's a PPC Agent's job, after all - so it doesn't particularly need mentioning. Certainly the more amusing ones should be brought up - there is a scene where Briggs and Gillies discuss with evident satisfaction a pair of charges raised in a single time-jump, and it is entertaining to say the least - but the majority can pass unmarked.

Then there is the recitation. I know it's fashionable among some agents to create the largest list possible, but really, we don't need to see it. Read it to the 'Sue, by all means, but don't make me sit through it. Rather, edit what actually happened a little. Give me the highlights, the interesting bits, the collated and condensed version, and I'll read it. Give me the whole thing, and I'll skip ahead.

Then there are the infodumps. On the one hand, one agent is unfamiliar with the canon - and since this is the only Belgariad mission report I've ever seen, I imagine many casual readers are too. In that respect, a certain amount of information has to be provided. And, I must admit, Gillies handles it better than some - she breaks her dumps into small sections, allowing me time to recover in between, and theoretically absorb what I'm given. However, there are so many of them. Is all the information necessary? I don't know. Could it be condensed, cut down to the bare essentials and the funny parts? I suspect so.

But overall, I did enjoy this report. Possibly my favourite moment came near the end: in order to research something, Agent Briggs sent a letter to the Medical Department - using one of the lanterns said to be 'filing the room'. Not everyone would even have caught the typo (and as we know, agent observation has a massive effect on badfic canon), but Briggs used it to his advantage. Once again I gained insight into him, and saw his place in the larger world of the PPC - all through a simple piece of utility.

-T. Ryan, Dept. of Personnel, DOGA Archivist