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SeaTurtle
"Departments? Certainly, sir."
Mon Dec 1, 2014 21:59
70.26.33.236

Gaspard cleared his throat. "There are three types of departments in this place: action, infrastructure, or security. Action departments are the ones that venture into the multiverse to fix problems. For example agents of the DMS-- Department of Mary Sues-- document how a Suvian creature disrupts the world, charge it, and assassinate it. DIC-- Implausible Crossovers-- untangle universes that have been mashed together. DBS-- Bad Slash-- go after badly-written slash stories and exorcise participants, who are possessed by Sue Wraiths. DF-- Floaters-- is an in-between department for agents who have yet to specialize in one particular area.

"Infrastructure departments make sure that Headquarters works. There are loads of them: DoSAT-- Sufficiently Advanced technology-- designs, manufactures, and maintains all of the tech that we use. Operations keeps HQ and all of its inhabitants fed, clothed, and housed. Medical, Finance, Postal-- well, they're all pretty self-explanatory. We also have a psychological support department-- FicPsych. DoI-- Intelligence-- researches fanfics for potential targets.

"Finally, the two security departments handle threats that come from both within and without. Internal Affairs is HQ's police-cum-SWAT force. External Security is a Flowers-only force that keeps HQ's exits secure."

Marianne looked over her shoulder at Ashley. "Ah, yes. At this point I feel obliged to point out that our bosses are actually giant sentient flowers. They came from some doomed planet from some corner of the multiverse and built HQ using their technology. We're taking you to the Marquis de Sod, the daisy in charge of the Department of Personnel."

"Any more questions, sir?" asked Gaspard. "Another protip: like we said, HQ is spread over multiple dimensions and one of them has to do with consciousness. Essentially, the chance of arriving at where you want to go is inversely proportional to how much you think about it. It pays to be distracted here."

  • "I think I lost my phone before that..."Anonymous, Mon Dec 1 03:00
    Ashley taps his chin, quickly setting the tin of cookies aside as he quickly falls in with Gaspard and Marainne, easily keeping the brisk pace. "I think I remember this 'armory' you're talking about. ... more
    • "Departments? Certainly, sir." — SeaTurtle, Mon Dec 1 21:59
      • "What in the world did I get myself into?"Agent Ashley Glocker, Tue Dec 2 03:44
        Ash shakes his head, chuckling. "Well, at the very least, I find it pretty amusing that I end up here. Figures it would be after years of -wanting- for something like this to happen, and then when I... more
        • ((Aaaargh, sorry.))SeaTurtle, Thu Dec 4 21:59
          ((Exam season is upon us over here, so sorry if my posts are far and few in between.)) "Yes, actual flowers," confirmed Marianne. "Or more specifically, Flowers , note the capital F. They're mostly... more
          • "Hmmm.. what's D-Ops Again?"Agent Ashley Glocker, Fri Dec 5 01:03
            Ash rubs his chin, humming lightly. "I was security forces when I was in the Navy. I started in Aviation, and spent a good stint as a life-support equipment maintainer, before becoming a MA and... more
            • "I have one final piece of advice for you," she said. "When you approach the Marquis for a job, be sure to mention if you intend to return to World One-- Earth, that is. If you say 'yes', they will... more
              • "That is absolutely not ominous at all."Agent Ashley Glocker, Tue Dec 9 06:37
                Ash deadpans, looking at the note before giving Marianne a grin. "Thank you for giving me the nickle-tour ma'am. I'll certainly step in to visit at some point." He smiles, giving her a gentle, though ... more
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