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Scapegrace
The Notary was indeed doing just that.
Thu Mar 26, 2015 18:45
88.106.255.159

Mostly she was fuming in outraged amazement that someone knew and had seen and knew and knew and knew-

She shot to her feet with a noise like a collapsible tent unfolding and turned the kind of glare on the Guardsman that could set fire to the victim's grandchildren. "You will not talk about her. Ever. Indeed, it would be best if we had never had this - oh, I am an idiot."

A flick of her wrist; a red flash followed.

"You do not know the name Lola. You have never known anyone addressed as such. The name is an entirely closed book to you, as, I suspect, are books of any sort whatsoever. You are not aware that I possessed a companion of any kind during any of my regenerations. You derive the most intense sexual gratification possible to comprehend from the thought of being punched repeatedly in the genitals by a hairy bodybuilder covered in fishpaste, and that one's for touching my photograph."

She shoved the neuralyser back up her sleeve and turned to face the others, her expression icy, her eyes dead and listless. "Potterverse wand holsters are such useful things; I don't know why they aren't standard issue," she said blandly. "I shall compose a note to Stores after fetching my drink. Does anyone else want to get their grubby little fingerprints all over my belongings or bring up poorly-shaved apes of debatable sentience? No? I didn't think so."

She was completely unaware that the Guardsman, or possibly the Guardian, she wasn't sure, had been completely unaffected by her neuralyser, since she had flashed it in the face of a rather confused-looking Tribble that was now rapidly re-evaluating its life choices and wondering where it could get its claws on some fishpaste. Head injuries, man. They sneak up on you.

  • The Guardian facepalmed. SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 15:32
    "Look, touch telepathy is something that should only be done if you know what you're doing. It can backfire on you if you're not prepared. Promise me you're not going to do that again, OK? Right."... more
    • The Notary was indeed doing just that. — Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 18:45
      • Kala, who had previously said nothing...Voyd, Thu Mar 26 20:26
        ...now shot a glare at the Notary. "And here I thought I had anger management issues." She stood up angrily; while not very tall, Kala was still a very large menace toward anyone she was angry at. "I ... more
        • "Yes, thank you for your input."Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 20:32
          "I'm sure we're all very grateful, and I'm equally sure you have somewhere to scuttle off to. Have you considered a bath? No, clearly not. I mean, how would you get out?"
          • *snap*Voyd, Thu Mar 26 20:37
            That was all it took. Kala threw herself screeching at the Notary. Seven feet and four hundred pounds of furious scorpion is not something to be ignored.
            • Funny thing about broken neuralysers...Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 21:01
              They have a tendency to go off at suboptimal intervals. The Notary was a planner, a common enough trait in any bureaucrat worth their rubber stamp. That included a mental inventory of DIA standard... more
              • Meanwhile...Voyd, Thu Mar 26 22:11
                Valon had been too dumbstruck by the sheer nerve of the Notary to properly respond when Kala charged her. After the dust had settled, he turned to Rina. "Did not think someone could be that horrible. ... more
              • ...the Guardsman stowed his radio without having to use it and ran off after the Notary, adjusting his body camera to make sure it registered everything. He wasn't afraid of the Notary's reports but... more
                • "I was there. It may have escaped your notice."Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 21:27
                  If it seemed like she was counting under her breath, she was. If it seemed like she was wincing as she moved, well, she was. You try hiding stuff when you're in that kind of pain. "Since you have... more
                  • "Nice try."SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 21:35
                    "Also: let's add vandalizing DIA property to your little list of offences," he said as he zapped the body camera with his laser screwdriver in an attempt to salvage the file. "My, aren't we in... more
                    • "I'm afraid I don't recall that taking place."Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 21:57
                      "I merely sent a request that your department run an external diagnostic scan at the exact time of the automatic upload. You, however, have just deliberately and conspicuously messed with your... more
                      • "Well played, Antrilovorasilendar."SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 22:22
                        The Guardsman wrung out his tricorn hat and plopped it back on his head. "But I'll still have the last laugh." He turned around and walked back to Rudi's while dripping water all over the floor. He... more
              • Unfortunately for Kala...Voyd, Thu Mar 26 21:06
                Her size and weight left a lot of momentum. Her charge continued uninterrupted, and she crashed into the opposite wall. She reeled away from the wall, apparently unharmed. "Urgh... what just... more
                • Just as the Notary left, somewhat inevitably...Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 21:09
                  Wobbles unicycled through the door holding a pizza. "Uh, ma'am? Your, uh, your hair's on fire."
                  • Sumisu had noticed before Kala did.Voyd, Thu Mar 26 21:29
                    The mini-Suu climbed up on Kala's head and smothered the fire. "... I have a ridiculous watery hat on now, don't I?" The cheerful vibes exuded by the mini calmed her down quickly enough. ((If you're... more
                    • "Oh dear, was she here?"Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 21:32
                      "I really wish she wouldn't drink so much. She gets awful tetchy."
                      • "Was who here?"Voyd, Thu Mar 26 21:37
                        "I remember this guard dude getting ticked at this lady in fancy robes, and the next thing I know, I'm careening toward a wall. Why..." Kala took a moment to piece things together. "Ah. The lady in... more
                        • "Oh, she does."Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 22:00
                          "In and out of Medical. It's kind of sad. I think she does it deliberately, you know, to..." Wobbles shrugged, always a dicey proposition from atop a unicycle. "To get hurt."
                          • "Huh?"Voyd, Thu Mar 26 22:06
                            "Surely she's realized that someone... like, for instance, me ... could go overboard and actually kill her? My stinger can only paralyze, but I've got two giant pincers that could take the head off a ... more
                            • "I'm Wobbles the Clown!" =oDScapegrace, Thu Mar 26 22:09
                              "Floaters, partnered with the Notary. I... guess one day I'll figure out why. But yeah, she knows that she could be killed by the wrong person and, well, uh... you ever heard of the phrase 's-word by ... more
                              • That gave Kala pause.Voyd, Thu Mar 26 22:22
                                "She's... suicidal? She doesn't seem the type..."
                                • "No, she doesn't. Wouldn't quite blame her if she was, though, the Time War wasn't exactly fun." She shook her head, and focused properly on Wobbles, wondering absently how the human was managing to... more
                                  • "It's just her way."Scapegrace, Fri Mar 27 05:47
                                    "She makes herself as unapproachable as she can, I think, 'cause of the non-awful her. Uh, I mean, this is all definitely just conjecture, you understand. Wouldn't want anybody to get the wrong idea... more
                                    • How the human had managed to make a Balloon Eye of Harmony while staying balanced on a unicycle, all in the time it took for the pizza box to go up and come back down again, was entirely beyond her.... more
                                      • "Glad ya like it!"Scapegrace, Fri Mar 27 13:33
                                        Wobbles wasn't one of the more observant people, at least unless she chose to be. At the moment, she had other things on her mind - the Notary's coming war with the Guardsman chief among them - so... more
                                        • The human had to mean well. There was no way she didn't. It still rankled. She chose to focus on the woman's words instead. "Friends! Yes. I have them." She eyed the clown. "Exactly how did you... more
                                          • "No clue. Like, at all."Scapegrace, Fri Mar 27 19:40
                                            "I just... it comes natural, y'know? Like seeing. You don't have to get taught it. I mean, I remember being taught, and being good at it, but..." Wobbles trailed off and chewed pensively on a slice... more
            • ((Since Kala's personality at this moment is "RAWR HURT THING THAT MAKE MAD," you can easily predict what she'll try to do. If the Notary manages to stop her, or if she gets pinned by the giant bug,... more
              • ((You do realize certain neurotoxins...)Iximaz, Thu Mar 26 20:58
                ((Work differently on Time Lords due to physiology differences? Kala might be in trouble.))
                • ((What kind of trouble?))Voyd, Thu Mar 26 21:00
                  ((Trouble as in she accidentally buffs the Notary, or trouble as in she kills her?))
                  • ((Who knows? Maybe nothing.))Iximaz, Thu Mar 26 21:05
                    "Stop! Stop it!" Rina jumped out of her seat and grabbed hold of Kala's tail, clinging on for dear life. "So help me, I'll take your tail off!" ((Hey, she might be scared of the Notary, but... more
      • Behind the Notary's back...SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 19:57
        ...the Guardsman quietly reached into his coat's pocket and withdrew his laser screwdriver. He pointed it at the sleeve in which the Notary had stowed her neuralyzer and sent a locking command to the ... more
        • The Notary just looked at him.Scapegrace, Thu Mar 26 20:22
          Well, she might have been looking at something she was scraping off her shoe. "You will have a full report on my actions here, as well as your lack of respect for personal privacy or property,... more
          • As the Notary withdrew, the Guardsman laughed.SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 20:57
            "Have fun writing the forms!" He looked down at his chest and checked his body camera. "Yeah, it I got everything on tape," he muttered to himself. "Who does she think she is anyway? I just looked at ... more
      • "Did she just... neuralyze a tribble?"Iximaz, Thu Mar 26 19:21
        Rina stared after the Notary for a moment before shaking her head. "You know what, I don't care. I'm just glad she's gone."
        • The Guardsman strode back into the pub...SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 22:46
          ...and made his way back to Rina, water dripping all over the place. "Sorry about that incident. Even if she's a stuck-up bureaucrat she's still a PPC agent-- and we're supposed to Serve and Protect. ... more
          • Well, two things, really. Er, one and a half. The Notary was checking through the Guardsman's registered equipment list to make sure she hadn't missed anything, and promptly started having a... more
            • Once the initial shock had subsided...SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 08:21
              ...the Guardsman, despite being pinned under Wobbles' bear hug, awkwardly reached into his pocket and threw his laser screwdriver away from the Floater. With his most precious belonging now safe from ... more
              • She stared, horrified, at the flames issuing from the Guardsman's hat. "She's seriously able to get away with that?" she asked in dismay.
                • "Maybe yes, maybe no."SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 08:36
                  "Either way, it's all in my head," said the Guardsman. "The Notary is just pushing back the inevitable."
                  • "... but it's really nice to meet you! I kinda sorta left some people in the lurch over there but hey, come round sometime! I'll make sure she's out. Oh, and here!" There was a prolonged squeak of... more
                    • "Oh, yes, I'm sure she's a lovely person."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 09:35
                      The sarcasm was so happy it was a bit of a surprise there wasn't Sar-plasm dripping from the walls. "After all, I'm sure someone willing to abandon a recently-regenerated, delirious person in a... more
                      • ...and looked at Rina. "She did what now? I can't say I'm terribly surprised but... It's a Time Lord thing. If somebody just regenerated, you bring them in your house and help them get back on their... more
                        • "No, I think I've got it under control."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 10:07
                          "But wow, the energy's still hanging around? That's... really weird, I regenerated yesterday, I thought the energy only lasted a few hours-- wait, set stuff on fire? "
                          • Valon perked up at the mention of fire.Voyd, Fri Mar 27 10:13
                            "So... you cast Fire Sneeze? So every round, your standard action is spent spitting out a cone that deals fire damage?" He grinned widely; he seemed to do that a lot. "Why yes, I play Pathfinder. At... more
                            • "A concentrated blast is very, very hot." He pointed at Rina's chest with his screwdriver. "You've still got energy pooling in your lungs and your voice box. Don't be surprised if your voice suddenly ... more
                              • "Uh, sure! Probably!"Scapegrace, Fri Mar 27 11:34
                                "I mean, half the time I don't know how I'm doing what I'm doing, and the other half I don't know what I'm doing period , but I bet we could figure something out! What do you think, Professor... more
                              • It was not dissimilar to the contagious yawn. But there was no way she was going to let the Ironic Overpower take advantage of the situation. "Yeah, I found out about the voice changing thing earlier ... more
                                • The Guardsman looked at...SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 16:42
                                  ...Agent Wobbes as she made a balloon replica of Arcadia. "Hah, that's actually pretty good! Look: she's got the sky train network right. I can even see my old district on that thing! And that open... more
                                  • "I'm really sorry."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 16:55
                                    Rina didn't know what else to say. "Don't worry, though. The Doctor will find Gallifrey, the writers wouldn't let anything else happen." She gave the Guardsman a small smile. "Well, I haven't been... more
                                    • "Yeah, about that."SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 17:20
                                      "It's mostly about the transfer of unwanted memories or even causing some sort of mental feedback loop or something. Let's say I wanted to show you memories of my first TARDIS flight: if I just... more
                                      • "I thought about it for a bit."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 17:24
                                        "Considered 'the Aviator', but decided there wasn't a point. I mean, it's not like I'm a renegade or anything, am I?" Rina laughed somewhat nervously. "And yeah, holy cow, that was quite the... more
                                        • "Relax, you're only... uh..."SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 18:07
                                          The Guardsman squinted at her. "Maaaaaybe under twenty? Yeah, no. That's not enough time for the really embarrassing stuff to build up. If you've lived over a millennium only then can you actually... more
                                          • "Just turned eighteen a few days ago."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 18:15
                                            "And I don't know, really. That Lola girl kept showing up quite a bit, but I don't know what the deal is with her." Rina shrugged helplessly. "I was kind of not thinking straight at the time." Her... more
                                            • "Oh, the little cute one! I can help!"Scapegrace, Fri Mar 27 18:29
                                              "Yeah, she was the Notary's girlfriend back when the Notary was, like, fun and stuff - but don't tell her I told you! She doesn't like being reminded of the times when she wasn't horrible, and I only ... more
                                              • "Did I just hear that right?" she said, stunned.
                                                • The Reader walked over, trailing balloons.DawnFire, Fri Mar 27 19:06
                                                  "Hi again," she said to the Guardsman. She sounded tired, but turned a credible imitation of a smile on Rina. "And hello. You wouldn't happen to be the new Time Lord I've been hearing about, would... more
                                                  • "Wait a minute. Is that the Eye of Harmony?"SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 19:27
                                                    The Guardsman leaned towards the Reader to take a better look. "Yeah, that totally is. Sweet. Look, she even added a solar flare trying to escape the singularity. And balloon-Arcadia, of course.... more
                                                    • ((Suggestion!))Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 22:40
                                                      ((SeaTurtle, since Dawn Fire seems to take a while to respond (no offense intended, DF, promise!), want to continue Rina and the Guardsman's conversation in the below thread? We can pretend it takes... more
                                                      • ((The chain with 'Hey I go on tangents'? Sure.))SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 11:11
                                                        ((This is turning out to be a real Time Lord-fest: skipping though threads, splitting them apart, rallying at arbitrary points, the works. *Looks at thread* Derp. I completely forgot that the... more
                                                  • Rina was instantly on her guard.Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 19:19
                                                    The new lady smelled like a Time Lord. "Yes, she said hesitantly. "But I didn't destroy Gryffindor tower, before you ask."
                              • At the mention of the Notary...Voyd, Fri Mar 27 10:35
                                ...Valon's grin instantaneously changed to a frown. "I try not to hate anyone, but with that woman, I'm willing to make an exception. Just like Kala said: Doesn't she realize how dangerous it is to... more
          • "Oh, is that what's causing it?"Iximaz, Thu Mar 26 23:58
            "I just havent been able to make sense of it! And I haven't had a chance to talk to anyone other than the Notary and the Librarian, no time to go to the Canon Library and find books, and I haven't... more
            • "Yeah, sure."SeaTurtle, Fri Mar 27 08:35
              "You got questions, I've got answers," said the Guardsman. "Well, most of the time. If you asked me how to fix a TARDIS I could show you that but you'd need..." He scratched his chin. "Say... a... more
              • "Hey, I go on tangents all the time."Iximaz, Fri Mar 27 08:40
                Rina gave the Guardsman a weak smile and handed him his laser screwdriver. "Here, you kind of threw this." "Anyway, I think I turned eighteen a few days ago, but it's hard to be sure. Doc Fitz said... more
                • "Yessiree. You got time, though."SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 11:32
                  "Provided you don't pull a Doctor and blow through over half of your regenerations in the span of a millennium you can easily live to be several thousand years old and only use up... say... five or... more
                  • "Three thousand years?" Rina gasped.Iximaz, Sat Mar 28 11:42
                    "That's... that's a long time..." She fell silent for a moment, staring down at the table and suddenly realizing just how incredibly young she must seem to the others. She decided it was best if she... more
                    • "Painful?"SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 15:36
                      "You're being torn apart and reassembled on a cellular level while your metabolism burns though an inherently unstable form of energy all while remaining conscious. Of course it hurts! Then again,... more
                      • "That's... weird."Iximaz, Sat Mar 28 16:04
                        "Really weird. I mean, I knew that, but it's a lot stranger now that it's applicable to me." She twisted a lock of hair nervously. "Um, so, you said the touch-based telepathy needed training. What... more
                        • "No can do."SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 16:39
                          "It's as natural as breathing for us. On the up side, you'll be able to sense these weird 'tipping points' in time and guesstimate the best course of action based on your gut feeling for the future.... more
                          • Rina gave an undignified snort.Iximaz, Sat Mar 28 16:58
                            "Well, I'm sure that comes in handy once you're able to make sense of things."
                            • Valon, who had been spacing out...Voyd, Sat Mar 28 17:31
                              ...suddenly snapped back into reality. "Bwuh? Did you say telepathy? I dare anybody to get inside my skull." ((I kinda have in mind that Valon is just too weird to effectively read his mind. Anything ... more
                              • "DIA regulations on nonhuman agents..."SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 17:45
                                "...paragraph 3, sections seven to eleven," recited the Time Lord. "It boils down to this: 'if you are a telepath, no peeking into anyone's mind.' Stuff like that is strictly verboten; it's... more
                                • "Except Sues."Voyd, Sat Mar 28 17:57
                                  "But even then, half the time I don't know what I'm thinking, so I doubt anyone else would." ((What is your opinion of Valon's psychic block of chaos?))
                                  • ((It's a WIP of my D&D campaign. My character's a wizard/psion and when she tried to read the party rogue's mind, she just got a jumble of colors and a lot of noise. Sensory overload, his brain was... more
                                    • "I have to agree," added the Guardsman.SeaTurtle, Sat Mar 28 22:12
                                      "Besides, how can a person operate if everything inside their mind is complete chaos? In order to achieve higher thought you have to have patterns somewhere, right? Any competent telepath should be... more
                                      • "If your mind really was just chaos..."Iximaz, Sat Mar 28 22:41
                                        "You probably wouldn't even realize it. I mean, I remember what post-regeneration delirium felt like, and at the time I thought things were totally normal until I recovered." Rina shrugged. "Of... more
                                        • "Well, there's impaired function..."SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 10:38
                                          "...and then there's absolute gibberish," said the Guardsman. "There's no order that can come from totally random input-- well, that's actually debatable," he interrupted himself, "because there's... more
                                          • "Um..."Iximaz, Sun Mar 29 10:47
                                            "Well, to be honest, I kinda dropped out of school in the middle of my eleventh year to become an agent," Rina said, turing red again. "Highest mathematics I took was pre-calculus. It wasn't ever my... more
                                            • "Oh, man," said the Guardsman, shaking his head.SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 11:47
                                              "I don't know much about Earth but you guys have an over-reliance on fossil fuels, right? Ooh, that's not going to end well. You people need scientists and engineers, not arts students! I'm sure that ... more
                                              • "Believe me, I'd love to give it a try."Iximaz, Sun Mar 29 11:52
                                                "But I just never really have the time. If I'm not off on a mission, I'm catching up on sleep. And half the time when I'm on a mission, I'm trying to sleep." She paused and suddenly grinned. "Though... more
                                                • The Guardsman smiled broadly.SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 12:58
                                                  "Welcome to the good life. Thriving off only a couple hours' worth of sleep, being able to read books in an instant, perfect recall, and incredible longevity. You'd be overqualified for any job back... more
                                                  • Rina stared hungrily at the diagram of the escafil device. "How could I have forgotten about that?" she murmured to herself. "I... I could turn back..." She felt her hearts leap, and she grabbed the... more
                                                    • *clap clap clap clap*Voyd, Sun Mar 29 13:37
                                                      "Maybe when you're running low on regenerations. I'm sure you've bled on something before; that'd be enough DNA, right?"
                                                      • "Well, there's a bit of a problem..."Iximaz, Sun Mar 29 13:42
                                                        "See, if I did get my hands on an escafil device, which would be a feat in and of itself, I'd have to either have fresh blood or directly touch my old self. Gotta have living DNA for it to work."... more
                                                        • "Well, portals can open..."SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 14:41
                                                          "... almost anywhere in time and space," said the Guardsman, "so going back a few weeks ago in the PPC isn't totally out of the question. Besides, time works weirdly here. You're covered on that end. ... more
                                                          • "Well, there's Ilraen."Iximaz, Sun Mar 29 15:00
                                                            "Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill, Implausible Crossovers. I met him when I first came here and looked up his reports afterwards. Oh, this is just perfect!" Rina was about ready to start cheering when a... more
                                                            • ((Replying to both.))SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 15:30
                                                              The Guardsman facepalmed. "Ugh, of course. You know when I said Time Lords had 'total recall'? Well, I'm an embarrassment to the entire race now. Hooray. Anyways... yeah! It seems like you got... more
                                                              • "Oh, you just had to say that!"Iximaz, Sun Mar 29 15:37
                                                                Rina smacked the Guardsman lightly on the arm, but her brow was furrowed. "Can you see others' timelines? Is it possible to pull this off? There's no 'fixed point in time' crap going on?" ((When in... more
                                                                • "It's tricky but doable."SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 16:05
                                                                  "Doubly so because this is the PPC. It's really, really vague because you're seeing all of these potential timelines at the same time but you can get a gut feeling for someone else's future. For... more
                                                          • "Hm..."Voyd, Sun Mar 29 14:49
                                                            "Isn't Rayner's partner a shapeshifter?"
                                                            • "Who?"SeaTurtle, Sun Mar 29 14:53
                                                              "And more importantly, did they acquire their shapeshifting abilities though the Andalite device? If not, they can't use the cube to give others the ability to morph."
                                                              • Valon blinked a few times.Voyd, Sun Mar 29 14:55
                                                                "Andalite? I think there actually is one of those here. Isn't he partnered with that cranky DIC agent?"
          • Valon grinned; no psychosis this time.Voyd, Thu Mar 26 22:50
            "Hiya! I'm Valon Vance, DF. My partner's the one who just juggernauted her way into the wall. Uh, why are you wet?"
            • "The Notary tried to fry my cameras..."SeaTurtle, Thu Mar 26 22:56
              "...with some sort of magic water or something. She honestly thinks she can get away by writing bogus complaints because people talk to her. Well, let's just say her complaint isn't going to go very... more
              • "Vivisection?"Voyd, Thu Mar 26 23:12
                Valon honestly seemed confused. "If this is about the turtle in the Cafeteria, I had no way of knowing it was still alive." ((Valon got a visit from the Gods of Retcon; the vivisection no longer... more
    • "Promise," Rina mumbled.Iximaz, Thu Mar 26 15:53
      ((Eh, not really much to say on my end until Scape takes a turn))
      • ((Erm...))Voyd, Thu Mar 26 20:04
        ((There seems to be important things happening. I suppose now would be a bad time for Kala or Valon to cut in?))
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