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Harris: Sonia? Er, hang on a minute.
Wed May 20, 2015 22:10

Harris: Nope, Sonia isn't here. I swear she was around just a minute ago-- Gaspard, what in the world are you doing? You're not choking, are you?

Gaspard: She called me "Gaspie", Harris! She says she wants to go out on a date!

Harris: Yeah? When a girl says she wants to go out with you, well, you say "yes". Now, go on. You can do it.

Gaspard: No. No, no, no. This is an obvious setup. Can't you see it?

Harris: Er... no.

Gaspard: Look. She doesn't even know who I am, what I look like or even where I work. This is exactly what happened the first time-- shame on me if I let this happen again.

Harris.: You lost me there. What first time?

Gaspard: You know... Valentines' day?

Harris: Oh! I remember now! You got the texts from "Sarah".

Gaspard: Yes.

Harris: She sent you pictures of her...

Gaspard: And I was dumb enough to send "her" pictures of me.

Harris: You bought her flowers and chocolate...

Gaspard: God, I'm such an idiot. Flowers and chocolate-- can you get any more unoriginal?

Harris: And then you waited on a bench in New Caledonia for four hours...

Gaspard: I thought she was running late but the pranksters were actually filming me during that time.

Harris: And then "Sarah" came over...

Gaspard: She took my offerings, laughed in my face, told me I was hideous, and left with her friends.

Harris: Damn, man. But Solvig looks nicer than that.

Gaspard: How can you tell? A quick database search shows us that she has no missions under her name. I know a trap when I see one and I'm looking at one right now. I'm not risking feeling like crap again just because someone says they want to go out with me. I'm smarter than that.

Harris: Whatever you say.

- - -

((Behold Gaspard De Grasse in all of his cringeworthy stupidity. Relevant comics.))

  • *giggles*Solvig Karinsdotter, Wed May 20 21:26
    Nah, I wasn´t flirting with ya Harris. Wait, Sonia? Is she there? Hi Sonia! *waves* Hey Gaspie! That sounds delicious! So, think you can take me out in a date to eat one of those thingies? ((Well... more
    • Harris: Sonia? Er, hang on a minute. — SeaTurtle, Wed May 20 22:10
      • What? Did I say something wrong?Solvig Karinsdotter, Wed May 20 23:19
        And who's this "Sarah" you're talking about? Should I beat her up? Yeah, I should. Hey Yunie! Can you say the "magic word", I need to do something. Yuuna : No. Solvig : Oh come on! Is important!... more
        • Harris: Hey look, you're getting pity-food.SeaTurtle, Thu May 21 15:34
          Harris: And she'll forget about you too, so no worries, eh? Gaspard: Forgotten again. Yipee. - - - ((He's great at parties, I swear.))
          • Sorry about the intrusion gentlemen.Nurse Chan, FicPsych, Paidopsychiatry Division, Fri May 22 11:23
            But let me defend my patient. Solvig won't forget Gaspard, she will forget the events that transpired today, and she will try again another day. She does not do it out of ill will, no. She genuinely... more
            • Harris: hey, that's good news!SeaTurtle, Fri May 22 15:29
              Harris: Solvig won't forget you. I'm telling you, she's a really pretty gal and I think-- Gaspard: --it will end in disaster. Harris: You're such a spoilsport. She wants to be your friend, moron. Why ... more
      • ((Hmm...))Voyd, Wed May 20 22:36
        ((I wonder how Gaspard would react if locked in a building with Kala or Gabby while the moon is full. Liminals go kinda nuts under the full moon, to the point where I personally think not even... more
        • ((Well.))SeaTurtle, Thu May 21 17:27
          ((It's a bit obvious, isn't it? Place anyone in a house with a half-human monster who becomes absolutely sex-crazed under the full moon and they'll be trying to get the hell out of there before they... more
          • ((Not just that.))Voyd, Thu May 21 17:58
            ((The fact remains that they don't hold back their [often superhuman] strength, so it's very likely that if, say, a lamia was after you, you'd die from her affections. That's pretty much the plot of... more
      • Something really similar happened to me in sixth grade. It sucks, but it gets better, I promise.
        • ((No hugs for him.))SeaTurtle, Wed May 20 22:39
          ((And it won't get better for him: this is Gaspard we're talking about, remember? He is Charlie Brown, the boy who frowns more than he smiles. He'll never win-- or if he does it will go forever... more
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