Lease this WebApp and get rid of the ads.
SeaTurtle
The Guardsman squinted at the screen.
Thu May 21, 2015 14:57
69.158.173.112

"Hey, Naya. I thought that we were having the Q&A with the PPC Boarders and their agents. Why is work popping up on my screen?"

"Just answer it, will you?" said the quarian as she fiddled with the RC's clean room controls. "So, what's up?"

"Some poor soul doesn't know where he is. I'll get it."

"All right. I'll be taking a shower in the clean room. Message my Omni-tool if you need me."

"Gotcha. I should be back soon."

"Mmh."

The Guardsman cracked his knuckles and wrote his reply:


"Greetings, Earl Algernon. Don't panic: you're probably in one of the most secure places in the multiverse right now. You've most likely stumbled across a hole in the fabric of the universe and fell into our Headquarters-- again, don't worry, you've contacted the right people. It'll be much easier for me to explain the situation to you in person than over this messaging service so how about I swing by and give you the tour? I've got your location logged on my machine and I can use a portal to get to you quickly."

The Time Lord glanced to a side screen and typed in a command. Okay. So this Earl was messaging him from a vacant RC. No problem. He turned back to his email.

"I'll be at the door to the room you're in by the time you finish reading this message. I won't keep you waiting, I promise! I look forward to meeting you in person."

The Guardsman signed his email and sent it. He rose from his seat, sidestepping various bits and pieces of electronic components scattered all over the floor as he made his way to his RC's front door. Once there he took his Inverness coat and tricorn from the coat rack and put them on. He dug in his pockets, fished out his RA, and plugged in the coordinates to the RC where the Earl was waiting. "Terabyte, hold the fort while I'm out, please!" he called as he stepped through his portal.

- - -

((Sorry for the delay. I had a rather busy morning.

Ooh, new agents. They certainly sound very interesting! I can't wait to see what you'll cook up for them.))

  • "Sir! Sir... Emiranlomaar? I beg a moment of your time!"Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, sans portfolio., Thu May 21 10:19
    "I have found myself transported, sir, transported to this labyrinth! No spells come to my aid, I cannot be pointed in the direction of the sun or stars, and there are beasts and fairies everywhere!... more
    • The Guardsman squinted at the screen. — SeaTurtle, Thu May 21 14:57
      • And just as he had made his plaintive cry...Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, sans portfolio., Thu May 21 15:49
        A door in the air appeared. Algie staggered back aghast as a man in peculiar dress stepped from the portal, tripping over the Generic Surface table in his flight. "Are - are you he? This Emir of whom ... more
        • The Guardsman nodded patiently.SeaTurtle, Thu May 21 17:18
          "Yep. I'm Emiranlanoamar-- Emiran for short or 'Guardsman' if you're referring to my old rank in the army. Pleased to meetcha. Answers to your questions, in order of vocalzation: Not a fairy, just an ... more
          • "Because... because I mistook you for the fairies."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, sans portfolio., Thu May 21 17:36
            "I see now that this is a death of some kind, and a weapon will do me no good if my magic has left me. No, not dead... lost. In Limbo, as an unbaptized babe or pagan hero of old might be. I... I... more
            • The Guardsman accepted the offered flintlock...SeaTurtle, Thu May 21 19:39
              ...and held the weapon in both hands. "I humbly accept your allegiance. I'll do everything I can to help you settle here comfortably. Hopefully you won't get a nutjob as a partner. Oh, and can I just ... more
              • "In this, perhaps, I am more fortunate than others."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Fri May 22 04:06
                "My good lady wife," Algernon continued as he walked with the Guardsman, "is the gentlest, kindest soul in all of England, and equally, alas, one of the most incurious. Agamemnon, now, he would be... more
                • The Time Lord rubbed his eyes.SeaTurtle, Fri May 22 15:12
                  "This is where it gets really, really weird. On one hand our home continua exist as fiction in World One. On the other... well, we've led perfectly ordinary lives, haven't we? We've both got... more
                  • "I, I still do not completely understand."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Fri May 22 17:07
                    "Oh well, I trust I will be able to find the answer you gave with proper study. As for my magic... hm. A demonstration. A simple cantrip, of Norrellite manufacture, alas, alas, but it will do. Hm."... more
                    • ...at the Earl's last two sentences. Those words were charged with something-- magic, ostensibly-- but why? The Time Lord looked around the office. Aside from the temporary, eerie flicker of the air... more
                      • "The Raven King."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Fri May 22 19:00
                        "The Black King, the King in the North, the nameless slave. John Uskglass, who gave unto England the magic of the Other Lands, who stood between the world and the wild places, guarding, watching. He... more
                        • "Man. That's some next-level creepiness right there. But you say he's an enemy of the Devil, right? I guess that has to count for something, right?" The Time Lord took off his tricorn and rubbed his... more
                          • "Who is Disney?"Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Sat May 23 03:35
                            "Is he another puritanical Johnathon? There was a trend among them for a time for echoing that witless Shropshire bovine Bowdler and rewriting plays, books, and the old stories to make them, in their ... more
                            • "Right. I think I'll do that."SeaTurtle, Sat May 23 09:59
                              The Guardsman wiped his hands on his coat to get rid of the cold sweat that had formed on his palms. "Erm. Yes. Does the Raven King have a timeframe for his visit or something? 'Cause maybe this... more
                              • "Ah. Yes. Well."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Sun May 24 04:24
                                "The King... will come. This is known, and known to be certain. The prophesy, his prophesy, has already been in large part fulfilled; Strange and Norrell are themselves the two magicians mentioned.... more
                                • "Go on ahead," said the Guardsman.SeaTurtle, Sun May 24 10:38
                                  "Just make sure to drop by the DIA Armoury and get geared up once you're back. You're gonna want to keep your Remote Activator on you at all times in case you need to move quickly. Oh! One more... more
                                  • "I shall, Sir!"Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Sun May 24 11:15
                                    "On every charge, I shall. You in turn will always be welcome at Perenelle, and I do very much hope that you will be able to call. Now then..." The Earl wandered off down the corridor, sorting out... more
                                    • The Guardsman had started walking...SeaTurtle, Sun May 24 16:55
                                      ...down the corridor in the opposite direction of Algie when he heard the muffled curse behind him. He turned and quickly made his way back to the newly-minted DIA officer's side. "Hey, me again.... more
                                      • "Er, yes, if I may be so bold as to ask your assistance."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Sun May 24 17:36
                                        "I have been reading through this list and I fear I must ask you to indulge me once more. Is... anyone allowed to join?" Algie sighed and turned again, pocketing the datapad. "I am afraid. My wife... ... more
                                        • "Ah."SeaTurtle, Sun May 24 19:33
                                          The Guardsman listened intently to Algie's speech. "No, it's fine," he said to the Earl. "In fact, it's a good thing you talked to me. Supernatural beauty, preternatural command of magic and superior ... more
                                          • "Then it is done."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Sun May 24 20:08
                                            "I... it pains me deeply to speak of my wife this way. As a Suvian, as a subject for testing, like some poor departed soul's body under the knife of an Edinburgh anatomist. And yet I must, because... more
                                            • The Guardsman smiled at the Earl.SeaTurtle, Sun May 24 20:45
                                              "Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. We're short-staffed in every single department over here so any help they can offer would be greatly appreciated. You're absolutely right about the Duty: family is... more
                                              • "I should say so, Sir Guardsman! And it is well done!"Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Mon May 25 07:47
                                                "Once again, Sir, I am entirely in your debt; and once again, Sir, I am forced to say that it could not be to a more deserving man. But come, Sir Guardsman, we must make haste!" Algie powered off... more
                                                • "It's what de do here," said the Guardsman.SeaTurtle, Mon May 25 21:35
                                                  "We help wherever we can. I'm glad we were able to help you, Lord Wymbourne. You seem like a pretty decent guy." Across the room, the Sub Rosa conversed with her aide. " Very well. Bulldog, find... more
                                                  • "Indeed I have."Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Tue May 26 08:27
                                                    "I have the details lurking somewhere in this contraption... aha! One "Field Commander McCandless" of Response Centre 2,631,513. This is why I have yet to report to the Armoury, Sir Guardsman; her... more
                                                    • "...that was unstable by nature," said the Guardsman. "Furthermore, your home 'verse stays clean, your son and your employees are safe, nobody has to die, and you've got a new job. I'd say that's a... more
                                                      • "Capital!"Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne, Internal Affairs, Tue May 26 17:24
                                                        "I do hope you will call for tea once my new garret is in a suitable shape for visitors, Sir Guardsman; moreover, if you have any future cause in which English magic will be an aid to success, do not ... more
                                                        • ((Ah, the plot thickens.))SeaTurtle, Tue May 26 18:11
                                                          ((I like where this is going. I assume that this is going to be a catalyst for some character development on the Notary's side. They just need to meet... Well, I'm certainly looking forward to the... more
                                                          • ((Totally canon))Scapegrace, Tue May 26 19:50
                                                            I mean, for one thing, RC 2,431,513? 24-3-15-13. XCOM. I like puns. I'm keeping that canon. Therefore, I'm keeping the rest of it. If you don't wish to, be my guest, but I rather like his Lordship's... more
Click here to receive daily updates