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Introductory ficlet!
Tue Dec 1, 2015 17:02

(Sorry for not posting this sooner, but I've been meaning to write a ficlet for my agents receiving their invites, so here it is - along with their arrival!)

Falchion's screech of joy nearly made Ripper jump out of his feathers.


The Deinonychus blinked slowly, looking at his ironclad partner in utter confusion. "Best man? What are you talking about?"

"Oh? Didn't you get the invitation?"

"What invitation?"

Falchion let out an ecstatic squawk right in Ripper's face, his beak snapping dangerously close to the other's snout: "VALON AND KALA ARE GETTING MARRIED!!"

Ripper instinctively pulled his head back, clawing at his ears with his taloned wings. "Gah, not so loud... Well, that explains the shiny envelope I received a while ago."

The smile was wiped from Falchion's face. "You never even opened it?"

"I'm not concerned with the mating habits of humans, to be honest. Unless, of course, they happen to be Suvian, and that's only for the sake of finding the opportunity of picking them off."

The Skarmory rolled his head. "Ripper, there's no, er, no mating involved - notwithstanding the fact that this is a mating ritual! Uh, sort of. This is basically Valon and Kala making it official that they're legally a breeding pair."

"Valon never wanted to have offspring."

"I know, but still!"

"And I'm still not interested. The only reason I'll be there is to see Kala again."

"Don't worry, you will! Just sit tight at the reception and don't eat anyone! Please? For me?"

Ripper gave Falchion a deadpan look, and then bowed his head in a huff. "As mentioned, though, only for you and Kala."

Falchion let out an avian equivalent of a squee, and then gasped. "Crap, I gotta call Sarah!"


Sarah was minding her own business with her partners when her mobile phone went off, causing Lapis to yelp and prepare to dive into the closet. Upon seeing her take the phone out, though, the blue-haired girl looked a little less nervous.

The Super agent recognized the number, and answered immediately. "Hey, Adam!"

"Hey, Sarah! Hey, can you, uh, can you put your phone on speaker? I wanna speak, eh, wanna speak to all of you guys!"

"Is Ripper there?"

"Uh, ye-... No?"

Beat. "He's there, isn't he?"

Ripper's voice could be heard from the other end of the phone. "It isn't my responsibility if you inadvertently damage your communication equipment out of anger, Stratogale. Just FYI."

"Shut up, lizard-lips! I only want to speak to Adam!"

"Uh, raptors aren't related to-" Falchion began, but Sarah cut him off.

"I know what I said! Just... Ugh. I'll pretend he isn't there, okay?" She put the phone on speaker.

"Hey, Lapis! You too, Cupid!"

"Hi, Falchion!" the others said simultaneously.

"What made you wanna talk to all of us, anyway?" asked Sarah. "You sound pretty excited."

"Well... You know Valon Vance and Kala Jeng?"

"Haven't heard of 'em." Sarah smiled apologetically. "Sorry!"

"I have, though!" said Lapis. "Rayner told me about them a while ago. Why?"

"Well, they're getting married! A-and I'm gonna be the best man! Best bird, I mean. Best man, whatever!"

"I heard!" Lapis replied. "Rayner told me about that, too! Congrats to them both!"

"Yeah, what she said!" said Cupid. "Are we invited?"

"The invites are for those they know personally, and What's-His-Name and I were among those people. We're allowed to bring guests, though, so I was wondering if any of you could come."

"I'd be totally down for meeting them!" Sarah pumped her fist. "Though I'm guessing a certain somebody is also coming, right?"

"In his defense, he didn't want to go, and the only reason he's there is to meet Kala again. So don't worry, the reception won't be invaded by any dinosaur armies anytime soon!"

Ripper's snarl could be heard from the other end of the phone.

"Sorry! Just joking there, heh..."

"I'm still willing to go, but just keep me a mile away from the guy," said Sarah. "Or vice versa."

"Good to know! Anyone else up for it?"

"Well, Rayner invited me as his guest, so I'm in," said Lapis. "Cupid, on the other hand? I rather doubt it."

"Yeah, I have a few committments over at FicPsych that I can't reschedule," the angel added. "And besides, Sarah would never let me go, whether or not any alcohol is involved."

"Not after last time," Sarah hissed, before switching back to her cheerful tone. "So, you're the best man?"

"Eeyup!" Falchion's voice was laced with pride. "I can't wait to stand next to Valon when he kisses the bride!"

Sarah paused. "...Are you sure you're cut out for this?"

"Why? I already sent the letter accepting the invite just now! What's the problem?"

"Well, the best man is the chief assistant to the groom, and the third most important in attendance after the happy couple," Sarah explained. "He's got a lot of roles to take care of: he assists the groom, he's in charge of the ushers, he acts as a legal witness to the marriage, he prepares a 'best man's speech' to be read at the reception..."

There was a loud THUNK as bird met floor. "I resign!"


A few weeks later...

"I cannot believe I'm doing this," the dark-haired Asian young man said as he and his redheaded partner entered the courtyard. "Literally. Cannot."

"The only other member of our team suitable for the niche you are currently occupying is both female and unable to come," Ripper replied. "She told me to tell you that she is occupied with more important matters, though whether or not that's a good thing is anyone's guess."

The Skarmory and the raptor, both disguised in their human forms, were all dressed up for the occasion. Falchion wore a silver suit with a red inside lining and tie, dark gray pants, light gray shoes, and a silver feather in his hair. Ripper had several scarlet feathers behind his ear, and was clad head-to-toe in a blood-red tuxedo.

"Sheesh, that's cold," said Falchion. "But her problems aren't ours to take care of, so we might as well make do."

Two other agent teams appeared at that point. Sarah (dressed in a black and blue ballroom gown with accents of silver, red, and purple, and with her dark hair in a stylish bun) was the first to notice them, rushing over and shoving Ripper aside to hug her adopted brother.

"Hey, Adam! And no, Ripper, I'm not sorry."

"Wow, sheesh," said Rayner, dressed in a white-and-rainbow suit that reminded the group of Rainbow Dash's Grand Galloping Gala outfit. "You two have a grudge or something? Also, hi, Falco! You look awesomazing, if I do say so myself!"

Lapis, in an ocean-blue gown with reddish accents not unlike Kyogre's markings, rubbed the back of her equally blue hair (spray-painted with metallic blue highlights, of course). "They've been like that for as long as they can remember," she said. "Just keep them away from each other and you should be fine."

"At least they can afford that luxury," said E.V.L., who'd brought up the rear with thigh-high black lace stockings, dark-matter hair billowing in a nonexistent breeze like black fire, and a rather revealing crimson gown with a demonic motif.

"Hideous as always, Glitter Girl?" said Rayner, winking.

"You look absolutely dreadful yourself," she replied with a dry chuckle. "Shall we get ready? The bird's the best man, if I'm not mistaken. Shouldn't he take care of the wedding rings?"

"Oh, flock, I forgot!" Falchion cried, slapping his forehead. "Hey, uh, I've gotta uh, take care of things with the staff and such! Meetcha at the reception! Save a spot for me at the dining table! Merry early Christmas!"

With that, he dashed off, leaving the others to stare after him in utter confusion.

"Did he even prepare for this wedding?" asked Sarah.

"I never asked," said Ripper. "No doubt he spent the whole day before browsing the Internet and whipped up a crudely articulated speech an hour before sleeping."

For once, Sarah didn't have any disdainful response for her arch-nemesis. "Welp... Looks like we're off to a good start."

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                            The eleven-year-old girtablilu cheerfully scuttled off toward Kala's tent. "Thank you, miss Aviator!"
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    • Introductory ficlet! — SkarmorySilver, Tue Dec 1 17:02
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