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Dog before daughter?
Fri Dec 1, 2017 09:02

I'm in a quandary. For the last two Christmases my daughter has put us up in a local hotel for the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to spare us from having to pretend to be happy in a crowd of happy boozers when we'd rather be curled up with a book (me) and a TV (Tammy). Also she gets special rates and even more special dispensation to allow us both to smoke even though the hotel doesnt normally allow it.

Someone has to come and get us and drive us back and forth for the big day but its a very nice holiday treat to look forward to...


Last year we came back to a heart broken dog who, our neighbour said, had sat outside and howled for the two days despite the fact that I had arranged to have her original owner look after her in our absence. 'She kept running away' was what they told me when I asked why she wasnt kept there.

So not much point in trying that plan again. I can't bear the thought of her crying because she cant find me and frankly despite the comfort level of the Christmas arrangement when all's said and done I feel we're being kindly catered to rather than actually wanted, after all they never come around to see us and how far is it from one end of the county to the other, maybe 60 miles tops?

When they were kids I was expected to drive from one end of the county to the other at the drop of a hat and I did it without complaint its no big deal but to hear Heather its like a major expedition and the reason why I never see them.
That and I suspect her husband isn't that keen on us, don't know why but he's always distant, never friendly, not in a real sense despite my best efforts and really I'd like to be friends but he won't allow it.

Now the games changed this year her mother has offered to host the family dinner and I gather we're not invited which is alright by me since her latest husband isn't someone I can relate to and I don't want to risk making things worse than they already re. Ann, my ex is an alcoholic and so's he, it would be mixing fire and gunpowder to have me there drinking too.

All of this could be solved if only Herbert could accompany me, look the way I see it my responsibility to the dog is the same as it would be to a small child. I wont fob her off when I know what is likely to occur. No wonder she refuses to enter her old home (which she does) she knows how she'll be ignored.

So I think we should stay home what say you?

    • I'll be both... - Sarge, Fri Dec 1 10:37
      ...too bold and overly frank. It sounds like you and Tam have already made your preference clear to yourselves and your decision, unless you have left out the pro argument for going. Perhaps your... more
      • Re: I'll be both... - roger, Sat Dec 2 00:57
        I agree with Sarge. BUT. You also need to have your own happiness. I have a son @100 yards down the road, a daughter 45 minutes south, a daughter who lives in Abilene, Texas and one at Morehead,... more
        • On thing... - sarge, Sat Dec 2 08:56
 add: We have a hard time remembering that our children have nuclear families of their own. Where it is nice to socialise, that nuclear family is their priority, and not us. Scary a notion as it ... more
          • From a purely selfish point of view - mike, Sat Dec 2 09:15
            I will be depriving myself of a good time and Tammy has offered to stay home with Herbert sending me off on my tod to keep everyone happy. Christmas will be a somewhat sparse affair if its just us... more
            • I'm glad... - Sarge, Sun Dec 3 08:56
              ...the input was useful, though I must admit a little trepidation on my part as it can be a dam delicate subject. Speaking of dam delicate subjects, perhaps you and Tam might be able to create... more
              • Oooh! HTML rears its ugly italics - mike, Sun Dec 3 11:34
                ...perhaps you and Tam might be able to create something simple and meaningful of your own to elevate one day during the season from just another day. So, make it a little special for each other.... more
            • The decision has been made - mike, Sat Dec 2 11:55
              I spoke to Heather this morning giving my reasons for abstaining from her generous Christmas provision made for us both. She seemed relieved and told me that she and my grand daughters would... more
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