Lease this WebApp and get rid of the ads.
mike
I think you're right Roger
Tue Sep 11, 2018 11:35
108.26.68.112

Remember these two pieces are NOT the story but more of an outline that I know will need more careful writing.

However I agree that the second part should have some of the first part integrated into it. Because first perhaps you introduce the character and the setting but at some point a little bit of how he earns his crust also needs being put into the opening sequence by way of lending him plausibility.

I originally meant to start out with Tim being a disenchanted youth living with his parents in the Citadel (London)and just looking for a way out. Then his father buys him into an apprenticeship with a toymaker and when he's done his time he leaves home for the countryside and sets up shop only to discover that the orders arent flooding in!

Thats more or less exactly what happened to me except substitute printer for toymaker and I did make several attempts at finding work in the countryside eventually succeeding in Edinburgh, Scotland as a hotel night porter only to go chasing after an American girl which is how come I ended up over here.

Thats the heavily edited short version - theres a lot more.

  • Re: Good - roger, Tue Sep 11 09:10
    Yes, I like that. Should probably go near the start of the story. Hmmmm. Maybe even be the start.
    • I think you're right Roger - mike, Tue Sep 11 11:35
Click here to receive daily updates