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Dorian Montoir
Don't know a good thing when it's right in front of me
Thu Aug 16, 2018 11:23
101.229.109.109

Dorian had happy little butterflies in his stomach as he turned the handle to the MARS music room, knowing exactly how he would find it. This was the moment that truly marked being back at Sonora. Not the Opening Feast, not the first day of classes, but MARS, their MARS, with Jehan. Normally, this was a Saturday, activity, but it was still too long to the weekend.

He glanced through the records whilst he waited for Jehan, who had gone to retrieve some books from Aladren. He found he wasn’t really focussing on them though, not really caring about the room’s designated purpose, but having to pay lip service to it to keep their comfortable little couch, and their rug and their paintings - their little home - from dissolving around them. He put on the record on top, just as the door opened.

“T'es rentré!” he beamed, bounding over, pulling Jehan into a hug, and kissing him once on each cheek, as he did for special greetings. Jehan’s cheek was warm and soft, and he felt a little shiver run down his spine. He rested his head for a moment on Jehan’s shoulder after the second kiss, adding “Wǒ hěn kāixīn,” because he liked to strive for some balance between his languages, even though they naturally slid into using more French, as Jehan was better at it. Case in point, the sentiment was much more simple than he wanted to express in Chinese - he wanted to say he was glad to see him, or that it felt good to be back - but telling Jehan he was very happy would do. It was true. It was just there was so much more than that.

He pulled Jehan over to the couch, tumbling onto it without really ever fully letting go of him, but still demanding when he got there “Plus de câlins, mon Callahan,” pulling Jehan’s arms around himself and sliding his own around Jehan, as they sat side by side, but inclined a little towards each other.

“Mon Je,” he corrected in a mumble, because he did not want to spoil the fun symmetry that the words made, but it felt strange and wrong to call Jehan by his family name. He was Jehan. That was the important part. Dorian rested his head against Jehan’s shoulder. He felt… He strangely was not sure. He was happy, of course, to be back. More than that, as always, at being with Jehan. It was an absolute perfect happiness, of being exactly where he was supposed to be. But yet… He felt restless somehow. It did not make sense. Did he not have everything he wanted right now? One hand gently traced its ways down Jehan’s back, and the restless feeling... It was hard to say whether it made it better or worse. It felt nice, but not necessarily any calmer. But it also didn’t feel bad. Even if it didn’t make sense to feel calmly content and all stirred up at the same time, he thought that might be an accurate description, nonetheless.

And then Jehan was diverting his attention with books. This was becoming a bit of a theme of the term - wonderful people presenting him with books. There were definitely no complaints from Dorian on this front. He turned over each books that Jehan presented. He sort of wanted to dive in and find out more about each, but had to settle for appreciating the covers, a little glimpse through some opening pages, and the delightful smell of old books. He had been dislodged from his perch on Jehan’s shoulder as his friend retrieved the books from his bag, but settled for the fact that he could glance up and look at Jehan looking over the books. Except the couple of times that he tried it, he found that Jehan was looking at him instead. He murmured various approving remarks, settling back in against Jehan with a particularly interesting looking volume, the familiar and comforting smell of Jehan mingling with the pages of the book.

“Yes, please, I will like that,” Dorian smiled, as Jehan promised to take him to the bookshop. He loved reading about Jehan’s adventures, but being a part of them was even better. He had said countless times how much Jehan would like China. He would take Jehan to Xi’an (which was fun to say), and Jehan would take him to his bookshop and everything would be so wonderful. Richard sounded nice, and Dorian was sure he wouldn’t even feel too shy about meeting a strange grown up if Jehan liked them, and if they were nice enough to run a bookshop - he pictured Richard looking an awful lot like the librarian, whom he liked a lot and -

At first, Dorian thought he had misheard. Because Jehan could not have said ‘Muggle.’ But he had. He had because the rest of what he was saying only made sense if he had. Except… except none of that made sense, because they were not supposed to be in Muggle New York. His heard jerked upright, and he stared at Jehan in shock. Dorian’s parents’ approach to preventing their children doing things they disapproved of was to tell them just enough to scare them. Consequently Dorian’s knowledge about… the relations he might have with girls were that anything outside of marriage was bound to end in pain and disaster, and his impression of what interacting with the Muggle world would be like was… Well, about the same. The image of a cosy, happy little bookshop dissolved, and it took on a much more sinister aspect.

“Jehan,” he said, sounding alarmed. “Jehan… We are not supposed to go- there are reasons.”

  • Am I free? Am I wild? [Tag Dorian]Jehan Callahan, Wed Aug 15 17:23
    It wasn’t until a few days into term that Jehan and Dorian got to steal away for one of their MARS sessions. Jehan supposed it was fair that they spent time with the others, and it was so nice to... more
    • Don't know a good thing when it's right in front of me — Dorian Montoir, Thu Aug 16 11:23
      • Starting to doubtJehan, Thu Aug 16 11:56
        Jehan was enjoying a happy little daydream of him and Dorian at the bookshop, of sharing his new world with his best friend, when suddenly such thoughts were shattered. “We are not supposed to go-... more
        • Jehan moved away from him. His tone was flat and… and not like Jehan. They were still squeezed into the end two thirds of the couch, and it was impossible for them to become completed separated, so... more
          • But what is death, really?Jehan, Sun Aug 19 12:17
            Jehan’s reply had been the honest truth but, no matter how confused and concerned Dorian had made him feel, he hadn’t meant to make Dorian sad. And yet he had. It seemed that every time Jehan... more
            • Mortal bodies, timeless soulsDorian, Mon Aug 20 08:27
              Dorian just wanted Jehan to be Jehan again. Not this prickly, hostile creature who sat at the end of the couch and barely spoke. The talk of electricity had started to melt that down a little. Jehan... more
              • With you, everything is timelessJehan, Mon Aug 20 09:42
                Dorian’s agreement to the statement about risks in both worlds confused Jehan slightly. He was thrown a little off-kilter in the way that one always is when, expecting a rebuttal, one’s opponent... more
                • "Right, sorry," Dorian nodded, when Jehan told him off for apologising. It was reflexive enough that he didn't even notice the irony of apologising for apologising, or even really that he had done it ... more
                  • With you?Jehan, Thu Aug 23 11:44
                    As Dorian explained why his initial reaction had not been as feared, Jehan realised quite how silly he’d been. Of course Dorian wasn’t like the others. Dorian knew what it was like to be different,... more
                    • Goodbye to safe and soundDorian, Fri Aug 24 08:47
                      “Of course,” Dorian answered when Jehan asked whether he meant it. And then Jehan seemed to hesitate too, and Dorian trusted that his friend was merely pulling together some important thought and... more
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