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Starting to doubt
Thu Aug 16, 2018 11:56

Jehan was enjoying a happy little daydream of him and Dorian at the bookshop, of sharing his new world with his best friend, when suddenly such thoughts were shattered.

“We are not supposed to go- there are reasons.”

And, all at once, Jehan’s perception of the two being soulmates was called into question.

Jehan was not your average little boy. Admittedly, no two people are the same, but everybody subscribes to a general idea of what is acceptable and what is not. Jehan subscribed to no such general idea. He was very well aware that Victor, his parents, and society in general had rules regarding what was and what was not permitted. However, the widespread acknowledgement of these rules did not mean that Jehan felt they necessarily applied to him. The world was a strange place, but Jehan had always felt there was a type of logic running through it, a logic that formed the basis of his own idea of what was and what was not acceptable. If society’s rules were not logical, Jehan did not see that they should apply to him.

In this situation, Jehan knew that the Muggle world was forbidden. And, on the day he had found the bookshop, he had not set out to break this rule. The rule had been one that he had not really considered, given that it had never previously been relevant. However, something had made him decide to take that step into the Muggle world, and nothing he had discovered since that moment had led him to the conclusion that the rule was logical. Therefore it was not a rule he now considered himself bound by.

Hearing Dorian disapprove of his actions immediately extinguished Jehan’s previous enthusiasm. He had never even stopped to consider that Dorian would be concerned about his forays into the Muggle world, and why would he have? He and Dorian were kindred spirits, soulmates, above petty societal prejudices, and sharing the same ideas about how the world worked. But this was apparently not the case, and Dorian seemed to have the same problem as Victor.

For as wonderful as his older brother was, Jehan knew that Victor didn’t understand him. Victor was part of society, he cared about rules and doing the proper thing, not understanding that the ‘proper thing’ was not always a synonym for the ‘right thing’. Jehan had never explained this to someone else, never fully clarified this position inside his own head, but it was something he knew instinctively, something that made him who he was, that made him not always fit in with the world around him. He’d thought Dorian to be the same as him, hadn’t realised that Dorian stuck by the rules that made no sense.

Jehan moved away from Dorian slightly, and shrugged.

“There aren’t reasons,” he contradicted, his tone much less happy and enthusiastic. For Jehan, the situation was as simple as his reply suggested. He saw no reason to stay away from the Muggle world, and so he would continue to visit the bookshop that made him so happy.

  • Don't know a good thing when it's right in front of meDorian Montoir, Thu Aug 16 11:23
    Dorian had happy little butterflies in his stomach as he turned the handle to the MARS music room, knowing exactly how he would find it. This was the moment that truly marked being back at Sonora.... more
    • Starting to doubt — Jehan, Thu Aug 16 11:56
      • Jehan moved away from him. His tone was flat and… and not like Jehan. They were still squeezed into the end two thirds of the couch, and it was impossible for them to become completed separated, so... more
        • But what is death, really?Jehan, Sun Aug 19 12:17
          Jehan’s reply had been the honest truth but, no matter how confused and concerned Dorian had made him feel, he hadn’t meant to make Dorian sad. And yet he had. It seemed that every time Jehan... more
          • Mortal bodies, timeless soulsDorian, Mon Aug 20 08:27
            Dorian just wanted Jehan to be Jehan again. Not this prickly, hostile creature who sat at the end of the couch and barely spoke. The talk of electricity had started to melt that down a little. Jehan... more
            • With you, everything is timelessJehan, Mon Aug 20 09:42
              Dorian’s agreement to the statement about risks in both worlds confused Jehan slightly. He was thrown a little off-kilter in the way that one always is when, expecting a rebuttal, one’s opponent... more
              • "Right, sorry," Dorian nodded, when Jehan told him off for apologising. It was reflexive enough that he didn't even notice the irony of apologising for apologising, or even really that he had done it ... more
                • With you?Jehan, Thu Aug 23 11:44
                  As Dorian explained why his initial reaction had not been as feared, Jehan realised quite how silly he’d been. Of course Dorian wasn’t like the others. Dorian knew what it was like to be different,... more
                  • Goodbye to safe and soundDorian, Fri Aug 24 08:47
                    “Of course,” Dorian answered when Jehan asked whether he meant it. And then Jehan seemed to hesitate too, and Dorian trusted that his friend was merely pulling together some important thought and... more
                    • We'll be fireproofJehan, Wed Aug 29 06:14
                      Dorian’s first response had confirmed that he had meant what he had said, but upon further questioning Dorian had started to look a little embarrassed, and with a strange sort of calmness, the... more
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