If you die in the Muggle world, you die in this world too!
Thu Aug 16, 2018 20:29

Jehan moved away from him. His tone was flat and… and not like Jehan. They were still squeezed into the end two thirds of the couch, and it was impossible for them to become completed separated, so there was still a degree to which they were touching. But Jehan was suddenly very, very far away. And he, Dorian, had made that happen with what he had said. He didn’t understand… And now he was faced with a terrifying scenario because clearly he had got his words wrong once already to produce this reaction and now he had to explain himself well enough to fix it. He had often worried that he would be inadequate to the task of explaining something important to Jehan, and now it was on the verge of happening, in the worst possible way, and he knew that all his words were going to get even worse because this was all so stressful.

“Jehan?” he said, plaintive, trying to bring him back… He wanted to beg him to not be prickly with him. He was not even really sure what was wrong, because Jehan’s argument that there were no reasons did not make any sense. It was dangerous to go stumbling around an unfamiliar world. And Jehan had touched things. Devices, he had said. Strange books-that-don’t smell devices, that sounded soulless and frightening. How could Jehan not understand the risk of that? Dorian knew that Jehan’s parents were… less invested than his own. They did not seem to care about Jehan very much, or find him very interesting. But that they had let Jehan spend so many hours wondering about in a place full of dangers, with apparently literally zero knowledge, without even noticing he was gone- Dorian had been half out of love with the idea of society for a long time. Society was the thing Matthieu cared about so very much that pushed him into giving Dorian friction burns and bruises. It was a set of hoops to jump through that contradicted one another. And the thing that it wanted from them was literally impossible. People did not like them because they were not white. And however hard Matthieu tried, they were never going to be. If he had been asked about reasons why Jehan should not have gone to the Muggle world, he would probably have, eventually, come up with the fact that it was taboo, and that it could risk the Callahan name. But it would have come a long way down the list. And even once he had thought of it, he would not have cared about that, beyond its implications for how uncomfortable life might become for them as two individuals. He only cared about Jehan. And about them being together. And Jehan was risking both of those things.

He searched for the names, for the things, the reasons his parents had told him about ‘Why We Do Not Mess Around With Muggle Things’ because he wanted to make Jehan understand and be less annoyed, but he also - above all - he wanted to make sure he was safe. These devices Jehan had touched, sounded like they were full of dangerous stuff.

“Lelectricity,” he said quietly, “That is… the name of a reason. I think. It is… hurting people. Maybe you. And Muggle hôpital… They cannot just quickly and then better. And sometimes cannot at all. Jehan-” his voice was choked, and he tried to push the pictures out of his mind, but they wouldn’t go away, of Jehan being all broken, and being in some Muggle hospital, and- “If you get hurt, really hurt, and be at the Muggle hôpital- What if they- what if they can’t-?” He could not finish that sentence because it was just too awful but it was clear what he meant, and if Jehan deigned to look at him again, he would find that Dorian was having to blink back tears at the thought.

  • Starting to doubtJehan, Thu Aug 16 11:56
    Jehan was enjoying a happy little daydream of him and Dorian at the bookshop, of sharing his new world with his best friend, when suddenly such thoughts were shattered. “We are not supposed to go-... more
    • If you die in the Muggle world, you die in this world too! — Dorian, Thu Aug 16 20:29
      • But what is death, really?Jehan, Sun Aug 19 12:17
        Jehan’s reply had been the honest truth but, no matter how confused and concerned Dorian had made him feel, he hadn’t meant to make Dorian sad. And yet he had. It seemed that every time Jehan... more
        • Mortal bodies, timeless soulsDorian, Mon Aug 20 08:27
          Dorian just wanted Jehan to be Jehan again. Not this prickly, hostile creature who sat at the end of the couch and barely spoke. The talk of electricity had started to melt that down a little. Jehan... more
          • With you, everything is timelessJehan, Mon Aug 20 09:42
            Dorian’s agreement to the statement about risks in both worlds confused Jehan slightly. He was thrown a little off-kilter in the way that one always is when, expecting a rebuttal, one’s opponent... more
            • "Right, sorry," Dorian nodded, when Jehan told him off for apologising. It was reflexive enough that he didn't even notice the irony of apologising for apologising, or even really that he had done it ... more
              • With you?Jehan, Thu Aug 23 11:44
                As Dorian explained why his initial reaction had not been as feared, Jehan realised quite how silly he’d been. Of course Dorian wasn’t like the others. Dorian knew what it was like to be different,... more
                • Goodbye to safe and soundDorian, Fri Aug 24 08:47
                  “Of course,” Dorian answered when Jehan asked whether he meant it. And then Jehan seemed to hesitate too, and Dorian trusted that his friend was merely pulling together some important thought and... more
                  • We'll be fireproofJehan, Wed Aug 29 06:14
                    Dorian’s first response had confirmed that he had meant what he had said, but upon further questioning Dorian had started to look a little embarrassed, and with a strange sort of calmness, the... more
                    • Player three joins the partyVladimir Brockert, Wed Aug 29 17:22
                      Vlad couldn’t find Ivy. It wasn’t entirely unheard of, their being separated. After all, they were separate people who just happened to have the same parents. But Vlad wanted to hang out with his big ... more
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