But what is death, really?
Sun Aug 19, 2018 12:17

Jehan’s reply had been the honest truth but, no matter how confused and concerned Dorian had made him feel, he hadn’t meant to make Dorian sad. And yet he had. It seemed that every time Jehan expressed an opinion about something important, it made Dorian sad. Perhaps important wasn’t the word he was looking for – they had plenty of successful conversations about important things, such as books and philosophy and music and theatre – but there was definitely a common thread that linked the conversation about the ball last year, which had been a one-sided disaster, and this conversation. Maybe they were just doomed when it came to conversations about their lives and what they wanted to do. Either way, Jehan was now torn between not regretting what he had said and not wanting Dorian to be sad.

This problem summed up the dilemma that was Jehan himself: an ongoing fight between what he believed in and the people he loved. Jehan was unyielding in his beliefs, sticking to his logic and what he thought was right. However, Jehan would do almost anything for those he loved. When these two parts of his identities clashed, he hurt. Luckily, this hadn’t been too evident in his young life, the most recent example being his confrontation with Victor after asking Luke Powell to the ball. It had been so hard then, knowing that passing his actions off as a joke would make Victor happy, but unable to do so, unable to deny something that was part of who he was, how his world worked.

And now here he was, not wanting to make Dorian sad but not willing to give in to the prejudices that society had attempted to condition into them.

“Electricity doesn’t hurt people,” he said, with a hint of the superiority found in those who have recently learnt something about the topic. “Only if you get it wrong and, Dorian, spells and potions can hurt people too.”

He wasn’t an Aladren for nothing, after all, and his brain had already considered the risk posed by the Muggle world and labelled it as similar to the everyday risk that came with living. And as for Dorian’s hospital concerns, well, Jehan was young and, as such, invincible. The thought of getting badly hurt wasn’t something he’d much considered, assuming that he could return to the magical world to heal any injury he did sustain. Dorian’s words also brought back memories of Dorian coming to Sonora smelling of bruise paste, and Jehan hadn’t ever mentioned it to anyone, and he wasn’t going to give in to such low tactics to prove a point, but the idea of Dorian being hurt this just fuelled his feelings of anger and injustice even more.

Only at this point did Jehan redirect his emotions towards society in general enough to look at Dorian, and he was heartbroken to find his best friend almost in tears. He instinctively moved much closer and his hands were either side of Dorian’s face, knowing the comfort his friend found in touch.

“Ne pleure pas.” His voice softened, his irritation and hurt becoming less important at the sight of Dorian so affected. “You don’t need to worry, Dor, it’s not so unsafe as people say. And I can’t be stuck at home, you know that, sometimes I just can’t be there…” his voice trailed off, almost pleading for Dorian to understand that going to the bookshop wasn’t a choice, not really. This was perhaps the closest Jehan had ever got to admitting that his home life wasn’t perfect. He normally took the point of view that things just were what they were, without a need to fuss, but having a haven to escape to during the holidays had made him realise how lacking his home life was, and sometimes made it even harder to be at home.

  • Jehan moved away from him. His tone was flat and… and not like Jehan. They were still squeezed into the end two thirds of the couch, and it was impossible for them to become completed separated, so... more
    • But what is death, really? — Jehan, Sun Aug 19 12:17
      • Mortal bodies, timeless soulsDorian, Mon Aug 20 08:27
        Dorian just wanted Jehan to be Jehan again. Not this prickly, hostile creature who sat at the end of the couch and barely spoke. The talk of electricity had started to melt that down a little. Jehan... more
        • With you, everything is timelessJehan, Mon Aug 20 09:42
          Dorian’s agreement to the statement about risks in both worlds confused Jehan slightly. He was thrown a little off-kilter in the way that one always is when, expecting a rebuttal, one’s opponent... more
          • "Right, sorry," Dorian nodded, when Jehan told him off for apologising. It was reflexive enough that he didn't even notice the irony of apologising for apologising, or even really that he had done it ... more
            • With you?Jehan, Thu Aug 23 11:44
              As Dorian explained why his initial reaction had not been as feared, Jehan realised quite how silly he’d been. Of course Dorian wasn’t like the others. Dorian knew what it was like to be different,... more
              • Goodbye to safe and soundDorian, Fri Aug 24 08:47
                “Of course,” Dorian answered when Jehan asked whether he meant it. And then Jehan seemed to hesitate too, and Dorian trusted that his friend was merely pulling together some important thought and... more
                • We'll be fireproofJehan, Wed Aug 29 06:14
                  Dorian’s first response had confirmed that he had meant what he had said, but upon further questioning Dorian had started to look a little embarrassed, and with a strange sort of calmness, the... more
                  • Player three joins the partyVladimir Brockert, Wed Aug 29 17:22
                    Vlad couldn’t find Ivy. It wasn’t entirely unheard of, their being separated. After all, they were separate people who just happened to have the same parents. But Vlad wanted to hang out with his big ... more
                    • White noise in my mind, won't calm downDorian, Thu Aug 30 10:08
                      “No, of course not. Bienvenue,” Dorian smiled. Normally he was a terrible liar but certain social niceties were so drilled in that he thought he could have carried them off under any circumstances.... more
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