Goodbye to safe and sound
Fri Aug 24, 2018 08:47

“Of course,” Dorian answered when Jehan asked whether he meant it. And then Jehan seemed to hesitate too, and Dorian trusted that his friend was merely pulling together some important thought and that he had not misspoken again. Because it was him and Jehan. There were no feelings that didn’t make sense between them, and they could tell each other everything. He waited to see what was on Jehan’s mind.

And then Jehan’s hand was on his, and he felt reassured. It was okay for them to hold hands as friends. It had to be because… because they were friends and they were holding hands, and therefore that proved that friends held hands. Because they were doing so. And they were friends. And each one of Jehan’s fingers was intertwining carefully with his own, and he had never been quite so aware before of just how sensitive his fingertips were, or how warm Jehan’s hand was… He liked how it felt.

He looked up. There were the brilliant blue eyes, that he thought he could get lost in. There was the pale skin with its light dusting of freckles, which Dorian wanted to learn by heart, commiting each one to memory so that he could picture Jehan perfectly even when they were apart. There was the shock of brown hair, its curly texture so different to his own perpetually straight locks. When he first saw Jehan every day, his hair was freshly brushed out and at its straightest, and Dorian liked watching throughout the day as the curl crept back into it. It was extra messy now, the combination of a full day at school and the affectionate hand that Dorian had run through it. He thought about when they had woken up together at the bonfire, or when Jehan had stayed at his house over the summer, and he had seen Jehan’s hair in its pre-tamed state, and how seeing that would be the perfect start to every single day... Reassured by Jehan’s physical proximity, he stroked his hair again. He loved the feel of Jehan’s hair. Everything about Jehan was so beautiful, so different to himself - on the outside, anyway. On the inside, they were the same.

What do you mean by us belonging together?

Dorian felt the sting of embarrassment as he always did when he hadn’t been understood, and he had to admit that it sounded… different when Jehan put it like that. His brain stumbled, trying to work out what sounded off, but all he could say was that it did not sound like the way a native speaker would say what he had been trying to. He sought to expand.

“I mean, we both had bad times, and then we find each other. And… and it all went away. There’s… there’s so many things wrong with the world but… But nothing is wrong when I’m with you. Ever. You make me feel safe,” he elaborated, “And more than safe… Safe and exciting at the same time. You’re just…” he searched for the words. “You’re perfect.” And the hand that was running through Jehan’s hair stopped on the back of his head, pulling him closer. He touched his nose to Jehan’s, running it down from the bridge to the tip, no longer thinking but just wanting… He wanted to be as close as two people could get. And he and Jehan had to be so close now that they would breathing the same air, sharing it back and forth, except Dorian found that he was holding his breath. And yet he thought they could get closer-

There was the sound of the handle turning, and Dorian jumped, letting go of Jehan. As the door swung back, the room hastily rearranged itself - because this was his and Jehan’s room, their own private world, and Dorian’s subconscious did not want anyone intruding on that. The colour scheme deadened, the blues and yellows in the picture and the rug fading out, the rug becoming plain, generic Sonora green and the picture a landscape. The record player disappeared, replaced with a small upright piano with a flute balanced on top - the most logical reasons for him and Jehan to be spending all their time closeted away together in the MARS room. The couch also abruptly vanished, which had the unfortunate side-effect of dropping him, Jehan and their books onto the rug. Admittedly, sitting three feet away from the piano, surrounded by books and looking vaguely stunned, they were probably a slightly odd picture to whoever was looking in. But it was not implicitly an intimate one, as it had been moments before.

OOC - Vlad butting in was discussed with his author so he has dibs on this post if he wants them, but if he gets too busy/is uninspired he is welcome to put it up for adoption

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    • Goodbye to safe and sound — Dorian, Fri Aug 24 08:47
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          • White noise in my mind, won't calm downDorian, Thu Aug 30 10:08
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              Jehan didn’t understand. He took back his earlier soliloquy on having finally reached an understanding on what was going on between him and Dorian, because his previous thoughts did not fit in with... more
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