Evelyn Stones
Feeling awash.
Mon May 6, 2019 16:20
140.211.188.112

The crumpled paper in Evelyn's fist had been balled and unballed a hundred times since she'd received it that morning. She was glad that it was a Saturday, because at least it meant she didn't have to face classes, but she wasn't feeling too up to facing breakfast either. She'd gotten up before anyone else and come down to the room where everything seemed to happen. She'd come here with Malikhi and with Ness, and now she was here alone. She wasn't sure whether she really hoped someone would come in, or whether she hoped they wouldn't.

The truth was that she'd been here with her mother, too, and now that all seemed very far away. Of course, when she'd been here with her mother, it hadn't been in MARS. Today, the room was taking on the seaside near her home. It wasn't perfect; there were details she hadn't quite gotten right but couldn't remember exactly, and there was an obvious lack of life about the whole thing, but it was close. The waves crashed and broke along the rocky cliffside, the sun beat down on the backs of the silver clouds that were nearly always present on the Oregon coast, and Evelyn sat in the grass, overlooking it all. She was alone, and she thought she might always be.

I'll come back, but I don't know when.

The fact that Evelyn's mother had bothered to write at all was some relief, she supposed. It would've been worse if she just hadn't come to the concert, or if she'd had to hear from her father. At least this way, she felt like she had options, even if she knew that weren't really true. The worst, though, was that her mother wouldn't even say where she'd gone.

I've spent so long worrying about you and your father, and now with Charles James there, I just can't keep it up. I've had to go.

Had to go. Had to go. Because of Evelyn and her father.

Some part of Evelyn was being irrational, and hated Professor Skies, Ness, and the rest of Sonora for ever making anything change at home. At the same time, where would she be if it hadn't? Much worse off, if she could even imagine that. And at least now she wouldn't have to explain everything. When she finally did get around to telling Professor Skies and Ness, they would already sort of understand. Ness would undoubtedly get that concerned look that filled those eyes whenever they watched Evelyn talk about home, and Evelyn wouldn't have any words of consolation this time. Malikhi knew a little bit, but he'd been so distant since his own father's passing that Evelyn doubted he was really in a place to help much. At least he would probably understand the loss of a parent better than the others, but it felt selfish to say that their losses were anything alike. Malikhi's dad wouldn't ever have left him if he could've had a choice, and Evelyn's mother was leaving of her own accord. Plus, she was a muggle, which probably ruled out any sympathy from Malikhi over the whole thing.

No, the onus seemed to be on Evelyn to keep it all to herself, and she did so physically by clutching the letter tightly to her chest and crying, adding her own saltwater tears to the ocean breeze. Her makeup couldn't run off because she wasn't wearing any, but it wasn't because of any desire to be comfortable this time, and it wasn't the au naturale Evelyn that Ness and Malikhi sometimes saw. Instead, it was the ragged, sunken, pale face of a girl who'd been woken up by the tapping of an owl at her window and a letter that she hated waiting for her. Her blue and pink and purple hair had faded a little, and she thought she probably looked more sea-bleached than she had during any real spring time here.

Evelyn looked down when she noticed light coming from below her face, and found that she'd managed to catch fire, the letter in her hand engulfed in flames. She gasped and threw it aside, but it was too late; the letter was only ashes now. She stared for a moment before laughing hysterically, ending in panicked sobs and sharp gasping breaths. She'd only ever managed water by accident before, except a few odd tricks here and there. At least now she knew she was capable of more than that.

She thought it would be nice to climb or scream or something, but decided that that all took too much work, and she simply laid down instead. The cool grass felt good on her hands, and she was glad that the fire had gone out before she'd done anything to damage the environment here. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and wished that she was waking up instead of falling asleep as her memory forced her to relive a letter she could now no longer read.

Whatever you may think, I love you. I just have to love myself right now, too.

    • Rest. It does a body good.Heinrich , Tue May 7 14:34
      Heinrich rarely slept well. Even after the worst of his anxiety released after telling Professor Hawthorne his secret, then further expanding upon it with Professor Brooding, he had not shaken his... more
      • But not like this.Evelyn Stones, Tue May 7 17:44
        Evelyn wasn't totally sure what the names were for all the things she felt when she woke up. The fact that she was warm and cozy beneath a blanket was comforting, but the fact that it was an... more
        • He became aware of the sound of waves first. Then he noticed the salt in the very air he was breathing. This was not home. This was not Utah. And this was not school. His forehead creased in... more
          • Okay, I'll give you that much. Evelyn Stones, Thu May 9 01:29
            OOC - Not necessarily a content warning, but this does include the thought processes of someone who very much is not thinking rationally and is not reflective of abuse survivors' culpability. IC -... more
            • Family Stuff does suck thoughHeinrich, Thu May 9 11:34
              Heinrich was surprised by how accurately Evelynís words matched his own thoughts about their respective recent sleeps. But when she added the reason for her poor sleep of late, Heinrich couldnít help ... more
              • Do you think family just sucks as a whole? Evelyn Stones, Thu May 9 17:21
                Evelyn thought it was sort of funny to hear Heinrich stumble through some of his sentences, and then also come out with words like corrosive. She supposed that was part of his Aladren nature, but she ... more
                • He was surprised again when Evelyn, a native speaker, called English a problem for lacking enough words. But then, she seemed to want to use them for things he didn't use German for either. Talking... more
                  • *nods* Parents stink.Evelyn Stones, Fri May 10 00:28
                    Language was hard, and Evelyn didn't doubt that at all. She also looked forward to the distraction of something that was totally possible (unlike her academics), and totally not family related... more
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