Evelyn Stones
Everything is a smelly mess.
Wed May 15, 2019 15:44
2601:1c1:8802:d69:252e:12d2:7582:3240

Heinrich's grammar seemed to be suffering, either from emotion or from prolonged use, and Evelyn reaffirmed to herself that she would learn German. She was only 13, so by the time she was an adult, she'd probably be able to speak it pretty well if she worked hard. She hated thinking of anyone going through school alone with their 'family stuff' and alone with their words. That sounded awful. She suddenly had a greater appreciation for what Professor Brooding had taken the time to do in potions class with labels and textbooks, whatever else she thought of the woman. Professors just shouldn't be that happy.

Maybe Evelyn was just bitter.

She found herself nodding along as he spoke, his words resonating painfully inside her chest. When he said he had a trust problem, Evelyn grimaced inwardly. She didn't like to admit that she did, but she'd even begun noticing herself the way that she flinched away from Malikhi or even Julius sometimes, and she'd literally come to the MARS room to get away from people, even people like Ness, because she was so convinced that they'd all leave at some point anyway. Her instinct was to be defensive or deny it, but she and Heinrich were long past that point now.

"I do too," she told him. "I saw my parents' bad wolves, but I didn't do anything about it. I think that . . . " She wasn't sure what to say exactly. She didn't want to make this a pity party, although she doubted it would go that way anyway. Maybe it was habit that kept her from saying too much. Besides, she hadn't really seen her mom's bad wolf she didn't think, and she didn't want to lie about it.

"I didn't realize that their wolves were bad until later, and then it all made sense looking back. I feel like I could've done something sooner, or I should've done something differently. I feel like I must be the dumbest person alive not to notice any of it before. If I didn't see it in them, I'm sort of afraid that I'll do something awful someday and then look back and realize that I made a lot of mistakes up until that point, and that I was feeding the bad wolf for a long time."

"The bad wolf bites," she repeated, thinking about that. "Is that why all this sucks so much? We got bit?"

Something about Heinrich putting the rock down, an action which Evelyn observed out of the corner of her eye as she was decidedly searching the horizon for answers at this point, made her relax. There weren't many guys who caught themselves without anybody telling them what they were doing in her experience, and it was nice not to worry about it. Even Malikhi, one of the first times they'd spoken, had grabbed her arms and shaken her roughly. Of course, that didn't mean that Heinrich would never do anything like that, but it was good to see someone choose a better course of action.

"That's how you feed your good wolf," she said, glancing at him and nodding at where he'd put the rock down. "You're already doing better than your family."

She looked away again and Heinrich was quiet for a moment before speaking. He seemed to be thinking, but Evelyn wasn't sure why she thought that. Something about the way the air felt just made her sure of it. When he spoke, it was with great care. Evelyn wasn't normally one to be filled with poetic visions or artistic ideas, but she thought that if a secret were whispered in the cavern of a chest, where a heartbeat was supposed to go, it would sound a lot like Heinrich did just then.

She could feel him looking at her, and looked back at him with searching eyes. There was no pity there and no accusations. There was no fear or repulsion or anything else. She was just looking, watching, and seeing.

"I reported my dad," she said, but she didn't mean to say. She meant to say anything else, but a weight that she hadn't meant to be carrying came out instead. "He didn't go to prison but . . . it wasn't good." She took a big breath and let it all out before speaking again. "Can we help each other? We'll watch out for each other's bad wolves and good wolves." She didn't want to ask him for help, but she was pretty sure she needed somebody who understood. She needed to know she wasn't crazy. It was easier to offer help than to ask for it.

  • Should be shiny and tasty but just a smelly messHeinrich , Wed May 15 11:47
    Heinrich nodded in understanding that her brother likewise would not remember the ‘family stuff’ she was going through, which probably meant her situation was resolved as best it could be as well. At ... more
    • Everything is a smelly mess. — Evelyn Stones, Wed May 15 15:44
      • Agreed. We need some flowers.Heinrich , Thu May 16 13:31
        She’d seen her parents bad wolves. In retrospect, admittedly, but she’d seen them. Heinrich wondered if that made her better at this, or just unluckier. It was kind of hard to imagine someone being... more
        • Yes! Big beautiful flowers. Evelyn Stones, Thu May 16 16:36
          Evelyn wasn't crazy. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't crazy. Because she couldn't be crazy if Heinrich was also worried about doing the wrong things and being like his family. He seemed not crazy at all, ... more
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