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Abigail De La Garza
I wanna dance with somebody (who loves me).
Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:51

Abby felt much better in herself than she had the previous term but that didn’t mean that she didn’t still feel down about herself sometimes. She wasn’t going back to that place, but she was told that having the occasional lapse in confidence was normal. It was okay.

She was glad to find the dance room empty when she entered so she was free to dance as expressively and emotionally as she liked until she felt that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

It was so nice to be able to dance so freely again, without seeing her mother in her mind’s eye every time. That wasn’t to say she no longer loved the idea of one day being able to dance like Citali De La Garza but that was something more of a pipedream, because she knew it wasn’t going to happen and had finally come to realise that that was okay.

But even now she still couldn’t help comparing herself to others sometimes. She didn’t mean to do it but it seemed to be like a second nature, a bad habit that she might never be rid of. Abby knew quite well that everyone was unique and that was what made them beautiful individuals but she struggled to apply that fact to herself. It wasn’t like she ever compared other people with each other, but for some reason it was different when she thought about herself. There was no logic to her suffering, but that didn’t change the fact that part of her “problem” would likely never disappear completely, no matter how much help her parents got her.

Abby had found herself becoming more and more interested in boys the older she got. She’d had a crush on Liac Reinhardt for quite some time now and she didn’t know if that would ever go away but he was no longer the only one. The fourth year desired reciprocation and she knew she wouldn’t get it from him. The Teppenpaw Captain was charming and he liked to flirt with a lot of girls, so it was silly to ever feel special just because he bothered to talk to her sometimes. Boys like Liac didn’t like girls like Abby, but she could dream.

Abby knew she only set herself up for disappointment by just thinking about these boys who were way out of her league, but she couldn’t help it. Her cousin Inez seemed to have loads of boys vying for her attention, meanwhile Abby knew she would be happy with just one nice boy. She thought about all the things that Inez had that made the boys like her, and she knew she didn’t have most of them. It was the same with many of the girls at Sonora, the likes of Savannah Brockert. Abby sometimes wished she could have just one of their desirable qualities, something that would make boys like her too.

When she wasn’t feeling so down in the dumps, she would know have more faith in the things that people like Emmy-Lou told her. She was only fifteen and had a lot of time to meet her Mr Right, and if she were keeping her crushes a secret then why couldn’t others do the same? But who would have a crush on her? Abby knew she wasn’t pretty like the other girls in her year, but she also knew that she needed to stop thinking about that. She’d come a long way since last term and she wasn’t planning on taking any steps back.

Abby was so immersed in her dancing, releasing all her emotions through the movement, that she didn’t even notice someone else enter the room. It was only when she finished, breathing heavily with the exertion she had put into the dance, that she noticed another reflection in the large mirror she was facing.

The Teppenpaw turned around and looked at the other student. “Hi,” she smiled after a moment’s hesitation. She didn’t want to come across as unwelcoming but she felt like she’d released a lot of personal emotion through her dance. Perhaps they wouldn’t have picked up on it. “Sorry, don’t mind me. There’s enough space for the both of us.”

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