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Gabriella Villalon
Re: 2/22 Discussion
Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:49pm
50.30.205.145

When writing my paper, I found it difficult to just stick to the facts and statistics to remain objective. Whenever I am explaining an issue or concern, I like to incorporate my feelings within the discussion, but when writing this paper, we were suppose to stir far away from any personal thoughts and feelings. So I found keeping my paper from turning into a persuasive piece was one of my weaknesses. I believe my paper did remain objective for the most part, but before my final copy, I had to delete some of my comments when interpreting the quotes and paraphrases in my paper because I wasnít sure if they would be considered opinions. Itís hard to stay objective on a topic you are so passionate about (which I most definitely was). I think my ideas would have came across a little better for my audience if we were allowed to incorporate our stance on the topic because sometimes facts and figures arenít enough for a reader. Also, I think I should have included a little more background information and definitions on the medical terminology and physiology facts I include in my paper. I know the terms and understand what physically happens in the body, but other readers may not, so that could affect the overall understanding of my audience. My body paragraphs are all connected together, starting with the first adverse effect of the Female Athlete Triad (FAT). So, I hope that not having much background on the medical side of my paper didnít interrupt the flow of my paragraphs from one symptom to the next. But all and all, I believe I did a pretty dissent job, besides being one page short of the five-page minimum. I painted a pretty good complete picture for my reader and gave them a better understanding of the negative effects of gymnastics on the body, specifically the FAT. I conducted great research and cited all of my information accurately and precisely. When writing my paper, I always kept in mind, what information would be helpful for a gymnast trying to find information on or perhaps suffering from Female Athlete Triad. I didnít view this assignment as a paper going to my English teacher and I think that helped me a lot in deciding what information I needed to include.

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