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The Controverser
Thu Sep 6, 2018 6:26am

Okay, so, first of all, glad you decided to make the jump from reading to writing.

Secondly, I do have to agree with Anonymous. Breaking the story up in paragraphs might be a pain in the butt for the author but it makes the story that much more enjoyable for the reader because life sometimes gets in the way and a person might have to look away from the story and trying to find their place again when it's just one paragraph can be a little difficult.

Third, I think you are worrying for nothing. There may not be any actual humiliation in the first chapter but we learn a lot of information that will help us enjoy the story more. We know that she doesn't like getting her hair cut which can lead to all sorts of humiliation involving her hair. We know that she gets turned on very easily and we know that while some girls are too shy for anal play or even reject it completely, your heroine has already explored this and has found out she enjoys it.

In other words, not only was the first chapter a really nice set up but it was also filled with the kind of information that is sure to make everyone who reads become impatient for the next chapter.

If this is truly your first story, I can only imagine what your next few will be like. Bravo.

  • Plz give me feedback and commnets - Smellsgood2020, Wed Sep 5 7:35pm
    Part two were the real humlition amd embaressment is going to happen sry if this dissapoints or dosent follow the boards theme.
    • Feedback - The Controverser, Thu Sep 6 6:26am
      • very thoughtful feedback - Hooked6, Fri Sep 7 2:42pm
        The Controverser: I must say your feedback to the author of this story was very well thought out and helpful.It was concise yet contained all the important points needed to encourage this poster in... more
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