TEEN GIRL PANTSING / STRIPPING DISCUSSION BOARD
0
Executionus
Feedback
Sun Dec 9, 2018 22:04
2601:843:c200:37f3:f1e6:35b6:af07:5e52

It's a pretty good story so far with a good storyline and action, but future parts need refining. There are several typos and grammar issues. Part 2 was rushed to the point where it hurt the story, sadly. Part 3 was much better overall and was a good setup for a future part 4 as Callie is losing herself to arousal as tasks are asked of her. I would say that spending more time on each entry, making them both longer and more-complete, should make them more popular.

  • Feedback - CallieMay, Fri Dec 7 11:54
    I just started my first story, Thanksgiving Mishap!! and I was just wondering if anyone had any feedback or ideas they wanted to see happen as the story progressed. I was very nervous to start, but I ... more
    • Feedback - Executionus, Sun Dec 9 22:04
Click here to receive daily updates