Professor Nathan Xavier
Advanced Class: Laganaphyllis Simnovorii
Thu Nov 15, 2018 10:35

Nathan would be married in less than two weeks. He honestly wasn’t sure if teaching his lessons was a hindrance to the preparations, or a welcome break from them. Certainly, since the beginning of April, which marked the final countdown as the calendar on his office wall daily showed the date marked in hearts and bells, the homework and exams the students received back was either slower in coming back or else lacked the thoroughness of corrections and comments that they previously had.

He was, after all, spending a lot of his time off campus, trying to coax his mother’s garden into blooming perfection for the date in question. Not to mention all the other fiddly details like decorations and food and where everyone would stand or sit during the ceremony, what music to play, seating charts for the reception, who to hire to officiate, and every other little thing.

It was exhausting. Though, according to Mother, a cake walk compared to having a new baby, which was certainly no secret any longer, given Isis’s changing shape.

The current advanced class, though, that he felt pretty certain fell into the welcome relief category. He’d managed to obtain a rare plant from a friend and he was excited to show it off.

“Today,” Nathan began, smiling as he looked out over the advanced students, “as you may have guessed,” he slanted his eyes toward the large visiting plant that was not normally a resident of Greenhouse Two. It was huge, and planted in a pot about the same size as its great horned head. The heavy pot kept the whole thing from tipping over as the plant moved around, but ‘magic’ was widely cited as the method by which the relatively narrow stem was able to support the large head. It wasn’t a small stem, exactly, being thick and ropey and a few inches in diameter, but the head was big enough to fit a grown wizard inside. That was not a coincidence.

The thing also occasionally mooed, so even Nevaeh would have likely noticed the herbological guest. “We will be learning about the rare species Laganaphyllis simnovorii, commonly known as the cow plant.” He looked at the plant again, with its great bovine head, which chose that moment to let out another low moo, and he added, “For obvious reasons.”

Of course, it didn’t look exactly like a cow’s head. It had what looked like an udder hanging off the underside of its chin, almost like a beard. It had teeth. Large pointy teeth, exactly like herbivorous cows did not have. Leaves fell over its face where eyes ought to be, though it had none and was as blind as almost all other plants.

“The cow plant is carnivorous,” he stated, as the teeth were one of its more attention grabbing features. “If it is well fed on a diet of meat - it particularly likes leg of lamb, but any meat will work - at least once every twelve hours, so twice a day is usually sufficient, it is entirely harmless to wizards. If it gets hungry, though, it will offer cake to lure in human prey. Never take the cake. It will swallow you whole if you try. If you are lucky, it will spit you back out. If you are unlucky, it will kill you and digest you.”

He looked around severely. “Do not ever take the cake from a cow plant no matter how delicious it looks,” he repeated, because this was one point of safety that had to be understood and followed. He also knew from experience how tempting the cake could look. “It isn’t hungry until it puts out the cake, so it won’t accept your offered food until the cake appears. When it does, give it the meat so it eats that instead of you or anyone else. Of course, the cow plant only produces milk after it swallows somebody. If they survived, this milk is a powerful mood altering substance, which will make the drinker feel the same emotions the victim felt just before they were swallowed. So often ‘yay, cake!’ is among those emotions.

“If the victim did not survive, the milk does have very potent healing properties, as well as a euphoric effect, but such milk is very tightly restricted due to the process necessary for its creation.”

“So long as you avoid the cake pitfall, though, cow plants are very good companions and are among the most intelligent of all plants. They are good listeners and will actively play with humans. Interestingly, they will not offer cake to small children. It is still unknown whether that is because those children are simply too small to bother with, or if they have some kind of magical protection of youth and innocence that the cow plant can sense, similar to unicorns.”

“You may now head over to interact with the cow plant. I just fed it some sausages an hour ago, so it should be perfectly safe. You many touch it, talk to it, and play with it, but if it senses a threat, it may nip at you, so don’t play too rough. Any questions? Okay, go meet the cow plant.”

OOC: Credit for the cow plant goes to Maxis and the creators of The Sims. Further information: https://sims.fandom.com/wiki/Laganaphyllis_simnovorii”>here

    • Awwww - Juniper Brockert, Teppenpaw, Sun Dec 23 18:03
      The school year was getting closer to the end and Juniper had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, she would get to see her horse and wouldn't have to be around other people all the time. On the ... more
    • The cake is a lie - Raine Collindale, Teppenpaw, Wed Nov 21 08:46
      “The thing that’s not usually here is a big people-eating plant, I think” Raine noted to Nevaeh as they entered the greenhouse. She sort of trusted that, especially in an advanced herbology class,... more
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