Claudia Dubois
Enjoy this mess
Thu Jun 7, 2018 11:59

Still clinging to Remy’s wrist, Claudia managed to stumble from the lecture hall to the admin quarters without passing out or vomiting, although she was insufferably hot and couldn’t stop silently sobbing. By the time Mr Tennant opened the door and invited them in, Claudia’s heart was beating so fast she was starting to shake. She sat promptly in a vacant chair before her legs gave way beneath her, but she seemed unable to loosen her grasp of Remington. It was almost as if Claudia’s grip on her was synonymous with her grip on her senses, and if she let go of the Draco she would necessarily relinquish control over herself. She needed to keep it together a little longer, so she needed to keep a hold of the younger student.

Now she was here, Claudia didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t hurt, not really; her bloodied fingertips didn’t seem important right now. She wanted help, because she was done feeling exhausted and overwhelmed every minute of every day. She didn’t know how Garen could help her, but that was his job, and she was asking. She just needed to find some words. “Everything got so messed up,” she said, choking back a sob. Claudia took a tissue with her free hand and dabbed at her moist face. Then she told Garen everything.

Claudia stated with Marley, how they argued at the start of term about her dating Teal. Claudia had never known a girl dating another girl, and she was uncomfortable; she had tried to ask Marley about it but they had just argued. They stopped talking, and Claudia was lonely; she wasn’t friends with Connor then, because of things he’d said to Drew before the summer. Then Danny had told her about Holland. He was supposed to marry a pureblood girl - he even had one suggesting a betrothal to him - and she was worried he would destroy their family’s reputation, and damage Claudia’s own chances of achieving a good marriage. She told Garen that she made up with Connor, and that Caleb had befriended her, and it got a little better, but she still felt betrayed by Danny and by Holland, who was supposed to be her friend.

Taking a deep breath - she had stopped crying now, but if she paused talking for too long she might not be able to continue - Claudia pressed on. She told Garen about staying in the commons at thanksgiving, about finding Drew’s notebook and the dark magic she had already told him about. She told him how she had researched the Waking Nightmare hex, amongst others. She told him that she’d gone home for midterm, and instead of concealing his relationship - as Claudia had been expecting - Danny told their parents about Holland. She described the way she felt, like everything about her identity, her ideologies, her family’s traditions, were being overruled by selfish teenaged experimentation. She confessed they argued and she used the hex against her brother. She told him that Danny had stayed away for a couple of days, but then her parents had invited Holland to dinner. Claudia confessed she had liked having them there more than she had been expecting to; she remembered they had been friends before.

She had been talking for some time, but she wasn’t done yet. Her breathing felt less laboured and Claudia was no longer shaking, but she still held onto Remy and she still felt sick as she went over the argument with Holland: how she had asked them to break up with Danny to save his reputation and his future, how they had argued, and the spell she had used. She said that she had wanted to shock them, to warn them, but also to get them to understand. She confessed she didn’t realise how powerful the spell would be, and she had not intended to make Holland feel all those things. She admitted to being sorry she had done that.

Claudia went on to say she had been unjustly penalised, considering her own punishments compared to those attributed to other wrong doers in the school, and that - while she had found Professor McKindy’s detentions informative - Professor Blair had further upset Claudia with material she found to be irrelevant and occasionally offensive. She also mentioned that Dardanius had talked to her, resulting in her understanding that there was more affection in the relationship than she had originally believed, and she had apologised to Holland.

Then there was the boggarts class. Claudia told Garen she was already nervous about showing her fears in a classroom full of third to seventh years, then she saw Danny’s fear of being rejected by Holland when he already been renounced by his family for them, and it had upset her because that was precisely what she was worried about, too. Then Holland’s boggart has been Danny and it was too much for her to contemplate remaining in class, so she had left to head back to Cetus to study alone. That’s when she had met Dade and he had cast those spells on her with no provocation or warning. Claudia outlined that she had been terrified to walk anywhere alone ever since, that she had nightmares about being burned alive, that she had thought Dade was her friend and she still didn’t know why he’d done it. Then she told him about the letters from Marley, and how she felt alone and sick and panicked just all the time.

Sounding tired, now, Claudia said she chewed her nails when she was anxious or upset. “That’s why Remington came to talk to me,” Claudia said. “They bleed every day now and they were bleeding through my gloves at the party. I only went because I’m frightened to be in the commons with Dade and Drew there.” She sobbed one final time, then stopped. She didn’t have anything left to say. She just wanted to sleep for a very long time, and wake up to find this had all been some horrible nightmare.

  • Someone called for a counselor? [Claudia, Remy] - Counselor Garen Tennant, Thu Jun 7 11:34
    Garen and Madeleine were playing Pirate Adventure (also known as “Hey Madeleine, Let’s Do Something Else So Aaron Can Get Some Work Done”) when there was a knock at the door. Worryingly, the knock... more
    • Enjoy this mess - Claudia Dubois , Thu Jun 7 11:59
      • I’m good at cleaning up messes - Garen, Fri Jun 8 10:45
        Garen already knew that Claudia was having a rough semester. In the span of two months she had gone from a spotless record to two encounters with the administration, one as the victim of Dade... more
        • I'll believe it when I see it - Claudia, Fri Jun 8 15:30
          Just talking about her terrible year with someone who wouldn’t try to convince her to embrace another perspective (not now, at least - Claudia wouldn’t be surprised if, at some point, Mr Tennant... more
          • Don't mind me - Remington, Mon Jun 11 16:56
            Once they’d arrived at the Administrative Quarters, Remington assumed that Claudia would forget about her. She seemed to be partially correct. The older girl didn’t seem completely aware that the... more
            • No one minds - Garen, Tue Jun 12 12:04
              A private place to sleep was such a simple request that Garen felt both relieved and sad. Relieved, because that was within his power to provide immediately. Sad, because Claudia considered it to be... more
              • I'd rather thank you - Claudia, Tue Jun 12 14:46
                Remington’s expression of a wish to provide Claudia with sanctuary in Draco was as unexpected as her approaching Claudia to offer help in the first place. Both instances provided aid to a person who... more
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