Mikael Anselm Lundqvist
Coming clean [tag: Kaye]
Fri Oct 5, 2018 23:58

One leg stretched out in front of him, Anssi wiggled his ankle around in a circle and then pulled it back in to be crossed on top of his other leg once more. It was not normal for the blonde to be sitting in the hallway like this - he had maybe sat in this hallway a couple of times last year when waiting to meet Ruben, but his brother was not here anymore. That didn’t mean he was not still thinking of Ruben very often, but even if Ruben was somehow being inside of Aquila right now, Anssi would not want to see him. The only person that he was waiting for was Kaye. He was just hoping that she would come past to use the main entrance of Aquila, which was the only entrance he knew, and not go through the secret tunnels, which he knew went inside of Aquila but had so many exits all over RMI that it would have been silly for him to camp outside any of them instead of here.

But it was starting to also seem silly for him to be camping outside here. Anssi had been sitting like this, crossways-legs and leaning against the wall a few metres down from the not-so-dead-end of the hallway, for long enough to have finished all of his reading assignments for both Cultural Studies and History of Magic. He didn’t have a watch to tell how long it had been, because it was still lost from when he had left it behind after a secret meeting with Drew and Dakota and Remy and Kit last year, but measuring it by his assignments proved that it had been long. Cultural Studies readings always took him much time as there was some very difficult language to understand. History of Magic did not take much time for the reading-part but took much time just to find them, as Professor Boot assigned small parts of many different chapters and often parts of individual pages too.

In all that time he had been sitting here, the only people he had seen were Yazmin, who stopped to talk with him a little (that was nice), and Heather, who ignored him (someone like Kaye would probably have thought that was even nicer than Yazmin saying hi, but he felt neutral about it. Compared to certain people, Heather was a good person). The lack of Aquila students going in or out of their House by the main entrance made it seem like it was not very well-used, and maybe it would have been better for him to be picking a random secret tunnel exit to wait at instead.

If he had known that his waiting would be this unsuccessful for this much of the day, he would at least have taken his quarter-way-finished Potions essay along with him and tried to stick words into it to push it from quarter to half-way finished. Instead, he had ran out of things to do. With his only options being to read his books again, or to practice his charms, or to pick up again the spiralling relieved-but-upset thoughts about Ruben’s letter still in his pocket, Anssi decided to get out his wand.

He stretched out the right leg this time and had turned his shoelace into a shiny silver wire when suddenly he saw Kaye in the hallway. “Oh Kaye!” he exclaimed, scrambling to his feet, not noticing how the wire bow snagged on his plaid pyjama pants. (Pyjamas was not his normal hallway-clothes, but he had wanted to be comfortable while sitting in the hallway and surely anyone would understand that, ja?) Almost immediately Anssi felt awkward and the first quick step he took towards her slowed down for the second and third steps. Since he had returned to RMI, still shaky and upset from catching Ruben on the couch with Not Kaye, he had done everything he could think of to avoid her. Not that he wanted to, for as he had told Ruben, she needed to know what had happened, but he knew he had to give his brother a chance to make things better and he also knew he wouldn’t be able to keep not telling Kaye if he saw her.

Anssi had no idea if Kaye had even noticed that he was avoiding her - they did not interact very often without Ruben being around, and anyways he had enough things to keep busy with, like Quidditch practice, that maybe his avoiding had been disguised - but it had felt super obvious to him. And so approaching her now for the first time in a while, even with the security of Ruben’s handwritten words ‘Vi har pratat. Hon vet.’ folded in the letter in his pocket, made it feel even superer obvious. What had Ruben told her? Did he tell her everything? Did she know that he knew? Did she hate him for not telling him sooner? There were a lot of questions and no answers, and no more time to worry, since now he was right in front of Kaye. Anssi ran through a few options, trying to figure out how to start, but the decision was made for him when his eyes started prickling.

“Kaye I am so so sorry,” he burst out. Eye contact was respectful, and he really tried, but he had to look down soon. “I should have said it to you right away, but he, he had to fix it himself, and I would have said something finally if it got late but I should not have waited at all, and it, it was not being fair to you, and--” He rubbed his sweater sleeve over his eyes, more upset than annoyed at how disruptive the tears were being.

    • It's all shiny and new - Kaye Packman, Fri Oct 12 16:34
      Kaye didn’t know how to handle feeling this sad all of the time. To be fair, the emotion changed around quite a bit. Sometimes, she felt really sad. It was like there was this lump in her throat that ... more
      • And long overdue - Anssi, Sun Nov 4 17:03
        Wiping his eyes had made a damp spot on his sleeve, but he had not yet thought far ahead enough to shuffle his sleeve around his wrist and switch to a dry spot, so he just kept smearing the salty... more
        • How about a quick turn around? - Kaye, Tue Nov 6 19:33
          Anssi was the closest thing she had to a sibling. Kaye never wanted a brother or sister. She’d never begged her parents to get another child, never tried to make deals, never really brought home... more
          • I'm still dragging my feet - Anssi, Thu Nov 15 15:04
            ... oh . So Ruben had not told Kaye that he knew. Anssi had not been sure either way, but it felt like a bit of relief, both the part of knowing now for sure and the part of knowing Kaye had not been ... more
            • We'll catch up eventually - Kaye, Mon Nov 19 12:45
              Yup, it looked like they were talking about it. She made a pact with herself in the moment that she wasn’t going to cry. Kaye hated doing the emotion thing, and she definitely didn’t want to do it in ... more
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