Claudia
Letting go!
Tue Jun 5, 2018 14:20
82.38.4.236

Remington was still talking to her, Claudia dimly registered as everything in the room faded behind the base of the music, suddenly more perceptible to Claudia as it mis-matched the thudding of her own head. Her vision was blurred and hazy, her throat felt constricted and the room was inexplicably, incredibly hot. Claudia had panicked herself into fainting on sufficient occasions before now that she knew what was coming. Not now, not here, she willed. She had hoped to recover her reputation somewhat by looking sophisticated and mingling effortlessly with other students. The reality of bloodstained gloves and imminent loss of consciousness while she stood off to one sided accompanied only by Remington was so humiliating a reality that it took the breath from Claudia’s lungs just to think about it.

“I want to help you,” a voice said nearby. Claudia turned to it, the room spinning around her as she did so, and she struggled to focus on the speaker. Oh, it was still Remington. Of course it was. Claudia had forgotten for a moment where she was. It was so hot. Why did things keep exploding and raining rainbows? She couldn’t breathe. “I can tell something is going on.” Well that was an understatement. Claudia laughed, too loudly, too brightly, for it to sound real: she suspected it sounded as maniacal as she felt, which was as though her life had gradually been crumbling about her for months, and now she was balanced on the final remaining precipice, about to descend into nothingness.

The room swung again, all of its own accord, and Claudia felt she might be sick. Her vision blacked completely for a moment, and instinctively she reached out and grabbed a hold - it might have been Remington’s wrist, it felt like a bodily appendage - to steady herself. “I don’t know how,” her crutch said. How to help her? Claudia didn’t know. Everything felt too broken to fix; she let out an involuntary sob at the realization. A tear spilled out of each eye, clearing her sight not completely, but it was better than the practical blindness of moments earlier.

“I don’t know how, either,” she said, unsurprised that her voice sounded panicked. “It’s all - everything’s broken.” A couple more tears fell, it felt as though the floor was trying to tip her even though it remained still, and Claudia clung more tightly to Remington. The music was starting to sound like mechanical whirring, pressing into her thoughts, the walls felt like they were closing in on her and all rational thought seemed to have abandoned the fourth year. Her mind had latched desperately onto one concept, and nothing else would no permeate her consciousness. “I need to get out of here,” she pleaded. She forgot Remington was friends with Dade, she forgot Connor was coming to meet her after the party, she forgot Danny was there to keep an eye on her, she forgot she might meet someone in the corridors who could hurt her, she forgot everything except the need to not be in that place any more as she began to stumble towards the nearest exit.

  • Hang on, don't let go! - Remington, Tue Jun 5 09:44
    “Why? Nobody else is trying to help me.” Remington doubted that, but she wouldn’t say so. She knew that Claudia had her own friend group, and she couldn’t imagine they’d abandon her over this. After... more
    • Letting go! - Claudia, Tue Jun 5 14:20
      • Let's go - Remington, Thu Jun 7 09:24
        Remington liked to believe she was smart enough to handle any situation on the fly. Professor Boot assigning a group project without telling them what the project was about? Boom, feminism, done,... more
Click here to receive daily updates