Emmett Lawrence
FML
Sat Aug 12, 2017 11:38
67.140.85.22

Emmett had not expected to have a fun time with any sort of project that was so mandatory that people who didn’t even take the class had to do, but as soon as the intentions of the lesson were clear, Emmett became fairly sure that this was the worst thing that had ever happened. It was awkward, to say the least, to be taught about sex like it was some foreign endeavour when probably everybody in the room (except him and maybe Danny, both of whom had probably personally blown any previous opportunities) had already…. experienced it. Well probably not the fourth years either, but were any of them even real anyway? Being the young one of his group, he hardly noticed anybody younger than him.

But then Professor Blair-West showed up toting a small child, and while he did like her well enough despite her terrifyingness, this somehow only made things worse. The substitute was relatably awkward, but their regular professor was unapologetic, waving around the empirical proof of her own… activities. Which was weird, wasn’t it? Emmett always found that stuff super weird. Having sex was, like, supposed to be so adult but also oftentimes viewed as irresponsible, and the end result was sometimes a baby, which was somehow the least and most adult thing in the world, and also the fact that human life was somehow sometimes a punishment and sometimes a reward. The fact that a literal human could be brought into the world by accident was kinda mind-boggling. (Emmett was pretty sure he was an accident, as suggested by the age difference between him and Mikey, and he hadn’t stopped being an accident since.)

Professor Blair-West then mandated partners, and as the first name called out, Emmett lost all doubt in the world that this - this - was the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to anyone ever. He had to work with Ruben, his mortal enemy, to raise a baby. His sunken facial expression was response enough to Holland’s mouthed concern, and as he passed Danny on the way to his new seat, he whispered, “Kill me.” Danny was the only one who seemed to share his Ruben sentiments to any extent. Holland was still his friend, Kaye was friends with him, Rose was all about him, and even Marissa seemed to enjoy his company somehow. It was all disgusting.

He sat down grumpily next to Ruben, and, without looking at the Aquila, said, “Can we just be divorced or something and work out a custody arrangement?” Admittedly, Emmett might have been genuinely interested in this project, knowing now what it was, if not for the Ruben component. He kinda did want to be a dad someday, so the baby thing might be good practice. Emmett just hoped in real life - you know, where he could choose the other parent - he would have a higher quality partner.

  • Super Special Fun Mandatory Class for Students Years 4-7 - Substitute Teacher Ofosu (with cameo by Blair +1), Sat Aug 12 00:37
    “Sit in pairs. An’ pass some treats ‘round, a beg,” Jeremy instructed, handing a big plate of chocolate-chippers to the nearest student. “Please take.” His usual smile was unusually forced, though... more
    • Best dad in the room - Armaan Bansal, Fri Aug 18 23:26
      When news had spread about the mandatory class Armaan’s first intention had been to skip it. He had better things to do than sit around for a lecture he hadn’t even signed up for. But Ethan had... more
      • I couldn't agree more! - Zoey Ludlow, Thu Aug 24 23:33
        "But, look here, Jacob. This line. 'Beneath the moon, a row of small lights, rippling glides.' Don't you think it just fits?" There was a pause as the younger Draco took her copy of Rocky Voices ,... more
    • I can't face it - Myfanwy Owen, Mon Aug 14 14:17
      Taking Cultural Studies had seemed liked a good idea to the most recent transfer student because even though she had grown up in a household that was both magical and Muggle, with one parent each... more
      • Admitting your weakness already? - Rose Farnon, Mon Aug 14 18:43
        Marissa was less than on time to the mandatory Cultural Studies lesson which had left Rose Farnon sitting next to Unpronouncable Welsh Name Owen and pointedly ignoring that fact. She hadn’t spoken to ... more
        • You're the one that dropped it - Myfanwy, Tue Aug 15 14:59
          Rose was her partner for the whole project, which was weird at first, because both teachers had definitely clarified that you needed a man and a woman to make a baby, and their group was almost... more
          • That was surprise, not weakness - Rose, Thu Aug 17 12:57
            “Bottle?” Rose said weakly, in response to the baby crying and Myffi’s somewhat horrified question. “Have we got one of those?” When Dade had been born, Rose had been six years old and therefore old... more
            • SURPRISE! - Myfanwy, Thu Aug 17 15:56
              Rose actually had some good suggestions like maybe she’d been around babies before and knew a bit about what would make them stop crying. A bottle was a good idea, babies had milk, everyone knew... more
              • I won't be got again! - Rose, Sat Aug 19 13:43
                It seemed as though Myffi was more willing to be enterprising about this situation that Rose was, or at the very least was willing to take the opportunity to ditch the crying doll under that... more
                • I'll keep trying - Myffi, Sun Aug 20 16:20
                  The baby seemed to settle with the weird fake formula they had been given (Myfanwy hadn’t seen any ingredients on it so she assumed it was just something specific they had been given to work with... more
                  • No really, that's ok - Rose, Tue Aug 29 10:19
                    ”Is it because your Mum died having a baby?” Rose looked up from the fake baby and stared at Myffi blankly. What did that have to do with anything? Admittedly, childbirth wasn’t the safest process,... more
                    • Well if you're sure - Myffi, Wed Aug 30 08:09
                      Rose said she wanted a career and that made sense, and it was also one of the first three reasons Myfanwy had thought of for a person not wanting a baby. Obviously it was possible to have a career... more
                      • Cross my heart - Rose, Wed Aug 30 09:30
                        Myffi agreed offhandedly to watching the baby when Rose was busy, which the sixth year actually felt mildly guilty about, to her surprise. She suspected that Myffi didn’t understand how much of... more
    • Cradle and all - Kaye Packman, Sun Aug 13 11:36
      Kaye took more classes than people probably expected of her. She took Magizoobotany, Magical Sciences, Spellwork, and Potions. She’d just dropped History of Magic for her beginning work in the... more
      • That's mine - Dardanius Dubois, Sun Aug 13 15:01
        Dardanius was finding it very difficult to take this class seriously. When the guy who was teaching the stuff couldn’t even say the words, the sixth year had to wonder what sort of effect this was... more
        • What's yours? - Kaye, Mon Aug 14 13:19
          People that Kaye would have happily completed this project with: Ruben (duh), Emmett (dude was really sweet and kinda weird and funny, but also would probably do whatever she said, and that was a... more
          • You Know - Dardanius , Mon Aug 14 15:22
            Kaye feigned ignorance at his claim of possession; Danny didn't care. He barely wore it anyway, and since it now held bad associations - firstly because of the sleepover party or, more accurately,... more
            • Know what? - Kaye, Mon Aug 21 15:14
              Danny didn’t argue back about the jacket, which was just annoying. What was the point of wearing this around him if he didn’t care? Ugh, what a waste of her time. She didn’t know why she wanted to... more
              • Nothing, apparently - Danny, Tue Aug 22 15:40
                Kaye was being even more sullen and unhelpful than usual. That was really saying something. Dardanius was starting to believe that she really wasn’t going to do the project, and refuse to put her... more
                • You know nothing - Kaye, Fri Aug 25 14:10
                  The baby had hair. That information was enough to get Marissa to glance over at the tiny thing in front of them. It – she – seemed to be sleeping, which was great news. Most of their classmates... more
                  • Shows what you know - Danny, Fri Aug 25 16:16
                    “What would anyone really need with a smoking jacket?” Danny chuckled in reply, keeping his voice low because the baby thing seemed to stir a little at Kaye’s voice. He didn’t know what to do with it ... more
                    • More than you - Kaye, Sat Aug 26 10:12
                      Danny knew some tiny humans, so that was good. Kaye was very comfortable letting him take over most of the work, then. He would’ve been doing so anyway, because she didn’t care about this, but it... more
                      • So's your face - Danny, Sat Aug 26 16:03
                        There were inevitably some other time commitments they would need to negotiate, like Duelling Club, and Danny didn’t know whether Kaye had any regular extra-curricular activities at school or off... more
    • FML - Emmett Lawrence, Sat Aug 12 11:38
      • Already did that, but thanks for offering - Ruben Lundqvist, Sat Aug 12 14:29
        The announcement of a weirdly secretive, mandatory class had been unexpected and unwanted. However, what had happened before this class (literally right before, Ruben reflected as he sauntered down... more
        • She isn't my life - Emmett , Tue Aug 15 15:52
          Emmett rolled his eyes so hard he almost saw his brain. He made certain it was an obvious eye roll, too, because he wanted Ruben to know how dumb and unfunny he was, but Emmett was also dumb and... more
          • No surprise there - Ruben, Wed Aug 16 20:30
            “Just touch her so” blah blah blah, something about names, he didn’t care enough to listen past that point. Fan, that line had a lot of possibilities for a follow-up. Ruben was vaguely tempted to go... more
            • What does that even mean? - Emmett, Sat Aug 19 14:57
              Okay, ew. Ruben was being gross out of nowhere (or not really out of nowhere, because he was gross.) Even Emmett picked up the implication, and while he was glad that the person Ruben alluded to used ... more
    • Pass. - Holland Keene, Sat Aug 12 10:15
      Kids were great. Holland had young cousins and they were all super creative and enthusiastic and quite a lot of fun for grade-schoolers. Holland had fun-colored hair (today was a vivid blue, with... more
      • Same - Camilla Baird, Sat Aug 12 20:35
        Why did she had to attend a class she didn't take? She had dropped the damn class for a reason and the fact that she had to go to a mandatory class did not bode well with the Cetus. Why? Why did she... more
        • If we both don’t care, we might NOT pass - Holland Keene, Sun Aug 13 15:21
          So Holland would be co-parenting with Camilla. They hadn’t had much interaction with the older girl over the last six years, as the consequence of being in different Houses and years. There had been... more
          • The blonde could not give a pineapple over this class. She was sure she would graduate even if she failed it, but Holland seemed to care about it. So, Camilla sighed a bit annoyed by this assignment... more
            • That’s a better attitude - Holland, Thu Aug 17 14:00
              Camilla was being huffy. Well, then, if that was how this project was going to go, so be it. Professor Blair had, Holland noticed, paired all the members of their friendgroup with other people. Ruben ... more
              • We´ll see - Camilla, Sat Aug 19 15:42
                The fact that Camilla would be inconvenienced two mornings in a row was making the blonde annoyed by the minute. How was she supposed to take care of the stupid doll and work out? This meant that she ... more
                • No need to be negative - Holland, Sat Aug 19 23:37
                  Camilla seemed annoyed by the schedule, and Holland had to suppress the urge to remind their partner that one of the points of this assignment was to make the students aware of the consequences of... more
                  • Just being truthful - Camilla , Fri Aug 25 16:51
                    The blonde grabbed the offered schedule and gingerly placed it inside her backpack. Camilla had already seen through it and even when she wasn’t happy about it, there was nothing she could do.... more
    • Literally nothing about this is Super Special Fun - Marissa Kendrick, Sat Aug 12 10:00
      Marissa was mortified. She’d arrived to the mandatory class a little disheveled and nearly late. There had been no time to fix herself back up after her run-in with Ruben on the Pitch. She’d done... more
      • Super Unwanted Bad Stuff, perhaps - Russell Drew, Sat Aug 12 22:23
        Ever since puking up his dinner at the ill-fated Sleepover Party, Russell had been laying low. Very low. He had managed to interact with almost no one, actually, since he’d taken to eating his meals... more
        • “Hi, Marissa.” Oh, no. Oh no, no, no. Marissa was paired with Russell. She was paired with sweet, innocent, kind Russell who showed her really cool new dance moves and was her friend and thought she... more
          • I always prefer to flee - Russell, Mon Aug 14 23:15
            Even flattened across his cheeks, a theoretically stable position, Russell could feel his hands shaking. Bony fingers trembled, the tips rubbing over his eyelids, and it was a good thing that his... more
            • Run away! - Marissa, Sun Aug 20 13:48
              Marissa hated how self-centered she’d been since term started. It probably helped scare Danny off. The group hadn’t been hanging out as much, for which Marissa felt fully to blame, and she definitely ... more
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