Ruben
But when do we get to the spirits?
Tue Oct 17, 2017 17:43
136.159.160.7

Of course Glasses Farmgirl was capable of yammering on about spell theory as it pertained to plant growth without needing even to warm up. Of course. He should have been anticipating that, but at least he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Inserting a couple vague hums and nods throughout her spiel, Ruben began idly finger-combing a loose section of hair over his shoulder and waited for her to take a long enough breath that he could speak. It was a bit hard to tell, because her accent was possibly the weirdest one he had ever heard and getting progressively weirder. Definitely hadn’t thought that was possible.

But he finally saw an opening, and jumped on it. “But it can never really be natural here, can it? We are underground.” It seemed necessary to remind her; she was probably the type to conveniently forget that kind of thing. “All of your growing conditions here are magicked. The sun is not natural, and so plant growth and photo-synthesis is not natural. And, watering the plants? Good luck,” he laughed. “I have seen rainstorms here turn into jelly. Literally jelly, that is not a joke.” As far as he was aware, that had only happened once last year, but then again the brief hailstorm of frozen shrimp had only happened once, too, so he was not optimistic for this club getting enough proper moisture to qualify as whatever natural growth environment she was seeking.

“Potatoes, very sensible.”

“Sensible, that is me,” Ruben interjected with an agreeable grin that was definitely more of a teasing smirk than anything else. By now, the hair he had been idly fiddling with had been wound up (literally) in a loose but neat blonde plait, and he took a moment to admire it before beginning to undo the braid.

“Sugar beets?” he was soon echoing, disappointingly unable to keep a tone of genuine interest out of his voice. He wasn’t familiar with the title and could hardly know what to expect for their taste, but the word ‘sugar’ alone was promising. Sounded like the kind of vegetable that would ferment to produce a particularly sweet alcohol. Sweet booze was boring on its own, but had the advantage of being easy to mix into other drinks without raising too much suspicion due to the subtler flavour. Such as, oh, pumpkin juice with a little something extra over lunch in the Diner, or a sneaky kick to the punch bowls at Marissa’s party. Yup, sugar beets might have their uses, after all.

Blue eyes blinked innocently back at her skeptical expression. “You would not have to protect the tobacco with anything except more tobacco,” he explained, managing this time to restrain his natural impulse, which in this case was to add a strong ‘duh’. “Just take some leafs, boil it down, add more water, and spray it on the plants. Easy like pie.” Admittedly, Ruben mainly knew this because he had done some research on whether it was possible to make tobacco into a tea-like drink instead of smoking it - he smoked often enough, but the aftertaste still wasn’t pleasant. Google had told him that tobacco tea was a stupid idea and he should use that boiling technique to grow other plants instead. He in turn thought, why not use it to grow more tobacco? Smoking it fresh was probably better than in a cig, anyways.

He briefly considered keeping up the who, me, smoke, how very dare you, what is a smoke anyways act but just as briefly dismissed it in favour of a derisive snort and eye-roll. This was aimed in equal parts at her declaration of replacing tobacco with dumb flowers as it was at her following suggestion. “Cannabis? You mean, the one which makes you more paranoid than a psycho and try to murder everything before it murders you? That is supposed to be safer than ’natural’ tobacco leafs free of industry chemicals?” Yes, air quotes were involved, there. “Hah, sure.”

Ruben had never partaken of The Leaf himself, but one of his dormmates at Durmstrang had smuggled some in at the start of fifth-year. He had declined it when the first round passed him, because believe it or not the blonde did have some sense of self-preservation, and he had continued to decline throughout the night, because the others’ initial lazy exuberance had quickly taken a turn for the weird. Two of them had spent the next couple hours crouched together muttering in Russian (despite only one of them being fluent in it) (he still wasn’t sure how that had worked out) before instigating a spontaneous knife attack against a mattress; one had painstakingly painted over his stubble with a quill, insisting it was a good disguise and that the bloody scratches from the nib just created more of a diversion, and then joined in the furniture-stabbing with an energy that left their wardrobe rather splintered; and normally-restless Erik had stood in one spot beside the window, on one foot, no less, moving about every ten minutes to peer out around the curtain he otherwise kept holding closed. The only consistency between all four were their claims that Aurors, Hit Wizards and Witches, and/or Yeti were after them, each having a different opinion but agreeing with the others anyways.

In general Ruben was all for a good Hit Witch fantasy. Even a Yeti daydream could be satisfying when the mood was right. But under the influence of drugs, when you couldn't even enjoy it properly? Ugh, no thanks.

  • That’s the spirit - Myffi, Mon Oct 16 15:13
    She wasn’t necessarily a firm believer in making up your own mind about someone or something - why would people bother to write reviews of anything if everyone was just going to make their own minds... more
    • But when do we get to the spirits? - Ruben, Tue Oct 17 17:43
      • Ludus supra praemium - Myffi, Wed Oct 18 08:59
        Okay fine, Ruben did make a valid point about a serious obstacle that Myffi had been doing her best to overlook. Nothing about the climate at RMI was natural, because it was, in fact, underground and ... more
        • Sorry, I don't speak Science - Ruben, Fri Oct 20 21:08
          “What, you think I lie?” Ruben fired back, grinning. “Ja, actual jelly. Grape. I have a theory,” now that was a phrase he most often heard or used in conversations with Holland, but it seemed... more
          • That would be Latin - Myffi, Mon Oct 23 07:41
            “Yes, actual sugar,” Myffi replied through a chuckle. Ruben was probably one of the masses who didn’t give any through to where his food came from, like sugar just existed rather than being grown and ... more
            • Sure, if you say so - Ruben, Wed Oct 25 22:26
              Her quickness to grant him some sort of ownership over the garden was amusing to Ruben, if not appreciated in the way he suspected she thought it should be. Nope, the direction of his thoughts was... more
              • I'm smart, you're dumb - Myffi, Sat Oct 28 15:22
                Ruden didn’t seem at all bothered that she called him on her reputation. In fact he seemed sort of proud of it to be honest. This time he was definitely mocking her when he folded his arms too. Myffi ... more
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