Well that's just unproductive
Sat Jul 21, 2018 22:35

Now that she’d suggested it, it occurred to her that using their memory assignment to help with this conversation might actually be helpful, or at least more efficient. Like, talking about difficult stuff could be really hard (insert a sarcastic ‘how convenient’, paired with a sigh and ‘duh’ and ‘go figure’) so if there was a way for her to express what she needed slash wanted to without having to talk, that would be great. She just had to think of a memory that could say it for her.

Marley could remember a lot of different conversations - everything from her argument(s) with Claudia to the bajillion times that Holland had been open to chatting with her and giving her different perspectives while still reinforcing how important it was to have friends who supported you even when they didn’t understand instead of denying you and trying to push you back in the closet - and where did that expression even come from, anyways? Closet. Weird. And some people had walk-ins, or all the way to the fiction extreme of another world inside (hello, Narnia) which totally went against the meaning of that expression, so why did whoever it was who said it first decide to pick closet as the most appropriate furniture item instead of, like, cupboard, or even toaster oven, that would make more sense - anyways a lot of those conversations had parts that could totally work. But the important part of that was the parts part. She wasn’t certain that she wanted to share all of those memories, because they were personal and they all had other stuff attached, and she didn’t think she would be able to only pull a few sentences out of her brain.

“Okay. Yeah, sure we can talk.”

Teal might’ve agreed, but her voice didn’t sound like she agreed, in fact it sounded like she was gonna cry feeling emotional (hopefully not gonna cry, please don’t, that would just make this even harder). Marley glanced over at her, a little concerned, because she hadn’t planned for this and she had really no idea how to navigate crying possible crying in a conversation like this. Well. She had really no idea how to navigate a conversation like this to begin with. So that was a great combination. Teal kept on talking, simultaneously asking if she was upset and sounding upset herself, and she felt so bad for putting her on the spot that she started reaching out to grab her hand... except then Teal said that she couldn’t be upset and so it was a good thing she hadn’t actually taken her hand since she didn’t want to anymore. Couldn’t be upset. Couldn’t, like it was up to her! And sure she was probably just saying that ‘cause she was emotional and confused, she probably didn’t mean it, but she still said it and that said a lot.

“I haven’t done anything!”

“Yeah, that’s why we gotta talk,” Marley informed her, speaking in a calm patient quiet tone, like you were supposed to when you were talking to someone who wasn’t feeling like themselves. That strategy was according to one of the other radio hosts at her dad’s station, who ran an advice show in between Tuesday morning ad breaks for people to basically call in and complain about their problems. It was already harder to do that she expected, but she was determined to stick it out and make Teal understand without making her feel worse. “Cause you aren’t doing anything. Like it’s been two years,” okay technically that was rounded up but whatever, “and you still haven’t told your parents, and now Violet is here and you haven’t introduced us, and it’s selfish.” Oops, she hadn’t meant to say that part. That didn’t fall under calm-patient-quiet guidelines. “Sorry, what I mean is, it’s not what I want.” Now that just made it sound like she was selfish. Ugh this was hard. Maybe Teal would understand what she meant. She held eye contact with the other girl, hanging on to optimism that everything would be fiiiine.

  • Shields up, yellow alert - Teal, Fri Jul 20 11:50
    Marley seemed, like, kinda weird, in Teal’s opinion. Normally they were both super bouncy and excited, and today Marley seemed bouncy, but she didn’t hug her. Teal hadn’t gotten to see her as much as ... more
    • Well that's just unproductive - Marley, Sat Jul 21 22:35
      • What would you consider productive? - Teal, Sun Jul 29 12:07
        Okay, this was not going well. Marley was using the determinedly calm voice that Mom and Dad sometimes used on Violet. It meant you were starting to get pissed off but you didn’t want the other... more
        • Actually hearing me would be a start - Marley, Tue Jul 31 16:05
          She’d tried to explain what she meant, but Teal seemed to have caught onto the word instead and not paid attention to her explanation. Oops, again. This was probably her own fault. ‘Selfish’ was one... more
          • But that’s so difficult - Teal , Sat Aug 4 13:28
            Teal felt like Marley was misinterpreting everything she was saying and that she must have misinterpreted everything Marley was saying. First it had gone from “we need to talk” to parents and selfish ... more
            • What's right isn't always easy - Marley, Sat Aug 4 23:37
              She had been hoping that Teal would agree to just letting her go first, but instead the other girl was… apologizing? Okay, that was a start. They weren’t at the very front of the line yet, so they... more
              • That’s not great motivation - Teal, Sun Aug 5 10:33
                There weren’t many times Teal got exactly what she asked for. Surprisingly, her plea had gotten through to Marley. Unsurprisingly, Teal didn’t want to hear what the other girl had to say. Marley... more
                • Too bad this wasn't motivation enough - Marley, Sun Aug 5 21:00
                  Marley felt an immediate wave of guilt at the look on the other girl’s face. She’d never seen Teal look so sad before, and it made her feel even worse, and she had to hastily wipe an extra set of... more
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