Elliot Phippen
Trumps are wild
Mon Nov 5, 2018 16:50
96.86.58.181

In terms of “classes that really make you feel like a wizard,” Potions was pretty high up there. Astronomy and Cultural Studies were at the very bottom of the list. Even when they talked about magical stuff in Cultural Studies, it was still basically a social studies class, and they didn’t even get to do magic. Astronomy was pretty much all scientific and Muggle (except that the wizarding telescopes they used were definitely way better than Muggles could make with glass and mirrors—shoutout to magnification spells and stabilizing charms), but it totally vibed with the old-timey aesthetic Elliot had noticed in the wizarding world. It was kind of like the Renaissance Faire, except that instead of slutty pirate outfits (aka what Mama always wore for the Faire), people wore robes and pointy hats. Elliot thought it was pineappling awesome. If you were going to be a wizard, you might as well dress like one if that’s what you felt like.

Anyway, there was just something about standing over a bubbling cauldron that made you feel like a supremely powerful witch and/or warlock. Elliot would rank it as the second right below Spellwork (learning to shapeshift objects and make them do cool stuff by waving your wand around and saying the right words was peak wizard #mood) and right above Defense Against the Dark Arts (Elliot’s actual favorite class, but not as wizardly as Potions and Spellwork). Then was Magizoobotany, because there were awesome creatures and plants that didn’t act the way plants were supposed to act. History of Magic just barely edged ahead of Cultural Studies in terms of wizardiness because all the historical events they learned were magical, and also Elliot was pretty sure that Professor Boot was the wizardiest wizard he had ever met. Like, if there was a huge reveal that Boot had been Merlin himself the whole time at the end of Elliot’s seventh year, the Aquila wouldn’t even be surprised.

The fact that Rob gave out April Fool’s assignments (well in advance, too) was just one of the bazillion reasons he was Elliot’s favorite professor. April Fool’s day wasn’t a big deal in the Harper-Phippen household, but they all definitely got in on the pranking. Mama had an unfair advantage because she could use magic. One year she’d somehow changed all the doors in the house, so when Elliot had opened his closet door to get his shirt he’d ended up standing on the front porch in his pajamas, and Ari had tried to leave her room and gotten stuck in the pantry instead, and Dad had gone to his office and wound up in the master bathroom’s shower (which technically had a door on it, but Mama was in the shower at the time so Elliot couldn’t help but think that was by design. His parents were gross like that.)

Elliot had figured he wouldn’t be able to participate in their April Fool’s stuff this year, but now that Rob was having them make potions they were obviously allowed to take out of the classroom, he was starting to develop a plan. He could owl his potion to Ari. Her birthday was in April, so maybe she would buy that it was an early birthday present. He could tell her it was a potion that made everyone do what you said for a whole day. His little sister would love that.

Elliot stared intensely at the board, trying to figure out what to make Ari’s birthday potion do. The pointy teeth thing was definitely out. The last thing anyone needed was for Ariana Phippen to be weaponized. Likewise, the slugs thing would definitely backfire on him, because Mama would totally blame Elliot if her house ended up sticky, and she’d probably hex him to cough up slugs in exchange. No way was Elliot risking that. He’d have to pick something else.

He was so focused that he jumped a little when Tycho’s roommate started talking to him. “It depends on where you’re hiding,” Elliot told Eugene. Camouflage was only as good as the place you needed it. Personally, if Elliot was trying to hide, he would go for something like Disillusionment, which made you as transparent as a cartoon chameleon. He didn’t actually know how to do a Disillusionment Charm, but it was still probably the best option. Then the New Yorker thought that a potion that turned your skin brown was not a good idea overall, so he added, “Green is probably fine. What do you need camouflage for?”

  • Ready to play my trump card - Eugene Hardie , Sun Nov 4 19:16
    Eugene loved robes. They made him feel extra magical and he particularly liked the way they swooshed dramatically when you ran down a corridor. He just wished they were fluffier. Then they’d be even... more
    • Trumps are wild - Elliot Phippen, Mon Nov 5 16:50
      • I'm OK with a little risk - Eugene, Tue Nov 6 19:13
        It was a great colour, green. He’d really come to appreciate it more since being in the green house. Even if all the worst tasting food was green (broccoli, brussel sprouts, mint ice cream) a lot of... more
        • Risky business is what I do - Elliot, Sun Nov 11 12:53
          “Got it,” Elliot agreed readily. Honestly he would’ve said anything to speed up Eugene sharing whatever top-secret information he had, but Elliot was also good with secrets. He loved that feeling you ... more
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