Marley
It's really not your best effort
Fri Mar 24, 2017 14:13
207.228.78.214

Caught by surprise, she blinked at Connor a few times before bursting into giggles. He didn't have a very obvious sense of humour, but she had learned over the past twoish years that he could be super hilarious, if unintentionally. "It's not a Cheese Whiz, silly!" she teased. "Cheese Whiz is the company name. The brand. Like, umm, Kleenex." Okay, that maybe wasn't the best example. Marley had definitely heard people use the word Kleenex as if it was a noun, asking for a Kleenex instead of a tissue, that sort of thing. But Connor was smart. He'd probably understand.

"You really don't know what it is?" she repeated, more for her own benefit than out of actual suspicions he was playing a joke on her or something like that, because that wasn't like him. Although it would have been easier if it was just a joke, because how was she supposed to explain it to him? "Well, that's fine, it's not like you're missing out on much. But, hmm..." Tapping her chin thoughtfully as they approached the snacks table, Marley snagged a brownie and was about to take a bite when an idea occurred to her. Ah, if there was one thing she could count on for reliability, it was that ideas always popped up right before she wanted to start eating.

"Okay, so you know cream cheese, right?" Marley assumed yes, because cream cheese was delicious, and accelerated. "Cheese Whiz is like, kind of the same texture but thicker and goopier. And it's bright orange, like this." She picked up a cheddar cheese cube from the table and waved it at Connor. "Except actually even brighter. Neon. Like, you just look at Cheese Whiz and you know there's gotta be funky chemicals and stuff in it. That's probably why they sell so much, 'cause people are addicted to chemicals. And bad sugars." Her mum, despite totally buying into it, went on regular rants about the evil consumerist culture, so Marley knew all about how they put extra chemicals and bad sugars in your food.

"Anyways, you buy Cheese Whiz in a little glass jar, and you can keep it in the cupboard until you open it but then you have to put it in the fridge to stay fresh longer, though it's not really fresh to begin with since it comes in a jar," she reiterated. "You're supposed to spread it on toast, like jam. But some people use it for everything, really. Like, they'll mix it up as sauce for vegetables, or put it on pasta, or..." Marley stuck out her tongue in a blegh face. "It can be good, I guess, but it feels weird, and real cheese tastes better." Nodding decisively, she popped the cheddar cube that had been slowly mushing between her fingers into her mouth. A big bite of the brownie soon followed. She would probably never go so far as to put cheese on top of chocolate, but slightly cheesey and slightly chocolatey tastes mixing on her tongue wasn't a half-bad combination, she thought.

  • Not to say that I'm not trying - Connor, Fri Mar 24 04:33
    To his utter lack of surprise, Marley hopped right in after his comment about cheese. To his surprise - although it shouldn’t have been, really - she proceeded to utterly baffle him within seconds.... more
    • It's really not your best effort - Marley, Fri Mar 24 14:13
      • Well I wouldn't want to be rude - Connor, Sun Mar 26 09:15
        Great, now Marley was acting like he was stupid for not knowing what cheese in a jar was. Connor bristled a little bit. Well maybe she was the stupid one for eating cheese that came in a jar . There... more
        • You've been anything but! - Marley, Sun Mar 26 13:09
          "That's one way to put it," she agreed brightly, or as brightly as she could manage through her mouthful of brownie. Innovative was too fancy of a word for something as boring as Cheese Whiz, but it... more
          • I do try my best - Connor, Mon Mar 27 04:28
            Well he shouldn’t have been surprised that Marley was prone to outbursts but Connor couldn’t say that he wasn’t surprised by the comment that had triggered this one. He was confused. Muggle food was... more
            • Let me help you with that - Marley, Tue Mar 28 00:48
              “Well, yeah,” Marley returned, not picking up on his patronizing tone. “But that’s proof, isn’t it? A lot of Muggle food and wizard food aren’t very different at all, since they have the same food... more
              • I wouldn't call any of this 'helping' - Connor, Mon Apr 10 04:45
                Apparently he had offended Marley by explaining the nature of the world to her, which was somehow unsurprising. In Connor’s experience (largely at RMI), people who weren’t purebloods could get awful... more
Click here to receive daily updates