Then try taking action
Sat Jan 27, 2018 11:41

In the spring, Danny’s attraction to Holland didn’t matter became of Marissa, but that clearly wasn’t the case anymore. Holland hadn’t outright said they meant Danny when they talked to Marissa the day of auditions, but then, they hadn’t needed to. The upside was that their conversation had felt like a go-ahead. Marissa was fine, and—more than that—she seemed to be actively encouraging Holland to pursue a relationship.

Which, of course, left the score of other reasons that Danny being interested in Holland didn’t matter without even factoring in Marissa’s feelings. “Right,” said Holland dryly. It was different with them. Holland was a paranoid conspiracy theorist. They were not naïve. “It doesn’t matter. At all.” Ha.

Maybe it didn’t matter to Danny on a personal level—and that was something else they’d have to discuss if anything was going to change—but for Danny’s life outside of RMI, it mattered, and there were only a few months before there wasn’t a life inside of RMI. Thinking about that made Holland’s stomach flip in a bad way, and they rerouted that train of thought before it could collide with any of the other engines they were currently conducting. The point was that it would’ve been stupid to think they’d hear anything in response to their half-confession besides ‘well thanks, I’m flattered, but obviously nothing is going to happen,’ and Holland wasn’t stupid.

Yet it sounded like Danny wasn’t dismissing anything as impossible, just difficult. That was unexpected. Holland wasn’t entirely sure what he was saying, but it sounded like—something. He had to have had a reason for dragging them in here. Holland doubted it was just to tell them they were distracting him. Still. The idea that consideration could solve anything was absurd.

“And is that… would you even want to consider those things?” Holland suspected they already knew the answer, the same way they had known his answer last year when they’d asked Danny what his liking them meant. Holland and Danny might both be interested—there were all of those quick touches and secret looks to say that Danny was flirting with them, and Holland wasn’t shy about responding. Last year the two Lyras had argued about Holland flirting with Ruben, but for Holland at least, the flirting hadn’t been about Ruben. This felt like it was about Danny, and that was the part that made Holland want to hold back. If Danny was only speaking in the hypothetical then there was no point thinking about it any further.

  • They say actions speak louder than words - Dardanius, Sat Jan 27 09:31
    Danny distantly registered that his hand felt empty now, and then suddenly they were talking about this. Not just about it being awkward, and them both acknowledging that, but about reasons. Which in ... more
    • Then try taking action - Holland, Sat Jan 27 11:41
      • That sounds like an encouragement - Danny, Sat Jan 27 14:18
        Danny blinked. “I don’t know,” he replied, almost automatically, feeling like a mooncalf caught in wandlight. He hadn’t thought about it - he hadn’t realized there was any reason for him to think... more
        • But you’re still all talk - Holland, Sat Jan 27 20:11
          How was that fair? All dating was a maybe. You went on a date to see if maybe you liked each other enough in that way to go on another date, and if you still liked each other then maybe the... more
          • I feel some discussion is warranted - Danny, Sun Jan 28 06:22
            He hadn’t given much thought to pulling Holland aside for this conversation: he had been driven by distraction, and confusion. If forced to give a reason for being in the passages at that moment he... more
            • Talk is cheap - Holland, Sun Jan 28 11:40
              “Right,” Holland said curtly, ignoring the sinking sensation in their stomach. “ I don’t know wasn’t the same as “no,” but it was close enough. Holland had never asked anyone out before (well, there... more
              • So show me some action - Danny, Sun Jan 28 15:38
                Danny emitted a vexed huff of dissatisfaction. He understood why Holland wasn’t thrilled with that response, but what did they want him to say? That sure they could just go on a few dates like nobody ... more
                • Is that a proposition? - Holland, Sun Jan 28 20:34
                  Holland once again had the feeling, like they had gotten last year in the Lyra practice room, that they were having this conversation wrong—like they were being tested on a chapter they hadn’t... more
                  • Let's say Yes - Danny, Mon Jan 29 09:53
                    “I am interested .” Finally Holland had said something definitive. “I like you.” The tightness in Danny’s chest was alleviated, and it was sensational to hear those words spoken, but they did not... more
                    • I can’t just yet - Holland, Mon Jan 29 12:41
                      Holland sighed. Sure, now that Danny had said they should both just forget about this and Holland had agreed, why not explore a scenario in which they had gone on successful dates and wanted to keep... more
                      • Tease - Danny, Tue Jan 30 06:44
                        “Right,” he agreed immediately that Holland had practise handling situations. They had previously discussed that dating was easier for Danny than it was for Holland; just because it was suddenly less ... more
                        • You started it - Holland, Tue Jan 30 12:05
                          “I remember,” Holland said, in a tone suggesting there was no need for elaboration. First-year Holland had been able to handle first-year Danny well enough for him to get over his prejudicial... more
                          • You can finish it - Danny, Tue Jan 30 14:29
                            Holland laughed at Danny’s suggestion, which was definitely a reasonable reaction, although it also sounded suspiciously like Holland wasn’t instinctively and immediately ruling out that option. “But ... more
                            • I think I will - Holland, Tue Jan 30 15:35
                              Danny took Holland’s hand, and they had that sensation of being shocked again, like a shudder that went all the way down to the base of their spine. After the whole intense circuitous conversation... more
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