That sounds like an encouragement
Sat Jan 27, 2018 14:18

Danny blinked. “I don’t know,” he replied, almost automatically, feeling like a mooncalf caught in wandlight. He hadn’t thought about it - he hadn’t realized there was any reason for him to think about it. There were so many things that would need considering that Danny barely had room for them in his head. He supposed the current scenario - that he was here, having this conversation - indicated he might be prepared to think about finding solutions. The problems were so numerous and so monumental though; even if Danny was prepared to discuss options, he was not optimistic his efforts would be fruitful. “You said you weren’t even sure,” he reminded Holland. “That you like me that way.”

Holland knew enough about Danny’s background to understand what it was they were asking: whether Danny would be prepared to risk his family, his social standing, his future for them. It was ludicrous. He hadn’t been able to date anyone at all without first securing (and not by his request, but helpful happenstance) assurance from his parents that it was acceptable to them. Happily, dating had not yet damaged Danny’s reputation or his popularity in society, but that was when he had been dating girls of wizarding background, who only failed to meet quite specific ancestral and socio-economic criteria. He didn’t think that would remain the case if he decided to date Holland, causally disregarding all traditional expectations and outing himself in the process.

The social politics were an insurmountable obstacle over which they had no control. At the other end of the scale of public to personal, Dardanius was still adjusting to his own ability to be attracted to Holland in the first place. In principle he was quite taken with the revelation, but it was perhaps the most inconvenient discovery he had ever made about himself, and the first trait that had ever caused him to feel self-conscious. He had confided in his mother (and, by extension, his father), and Holland, and Marissa - the people who arguably knew him best - but telling everyone else was a daunting prospect; one more consideration to add to a never-ending list.

Danny looked at Holland; the automatic physiological responses he experienced from this simple action at least provided one answer. “Well, I’m sure.” This wasn’t a fleeting fancy - once Danny had realized his attraction existed, he knew it had been there for months, possibly years. He wasn’t rebounding from Marissa, either: he wasn’t looking for a quick fix from any suitable candidate. He liked Holland, and everything about them.

That, on its own, that wasn’t enough. It might have been, if taking a chance with Holland didn’t mean disregarding all his plans for the future without promise of adequate compensation. It might have been, if his family’s faith in him wasn’t so fixed; if he was not so reluctant to defy them. It might have been, if his society was not so prejudiced, or their rules so rigid, or his wealth so considerable, or if he had a younger brother to defer to. It might have been enough if Holland could make the impossible promise that they would work out, and be worth these considerations.

“But if you’re not sure then no, I can’t consider those things. Not on a Maybe.”

  • Then try taking action - Holland, Sat Jan 27 11:41
    In the spring, Danny’s attraction to Holland didn’t matter became of Marissa, but that clearly wasn’t the case anymore. Holland hadn’t outright said they meant Danny when they talked to Marissa the... more
    • That sounds like an encouragement - Danny, Sat Jan 27 14:18
      • But you’re still all talk - Holland, Sat Jan 27 20:11
        How was that fair? All dating was a maybe. You went on a date to see if maybe you liked each other enough in that way to go on another date, and if you still liked each other then maybe the... more
        • I feel some discussion is warranted - Danny, Sun Jan 28 06:22
          He hadn’t given much thought to pulling Holland aside for this conversation: he had been driven by distraction, and confusion. If forced to give a reason for being in the passages at that moment he... more
          • Talk is cheap - Holland, Sun Jan 28 11:40
            “Right,” Holland said curtly, ignoring the sinking sensation in their stomach. “ I don’t know wasn’t the same as “no,” but it was close enough. Holland had never asked anyone out before (well, there... more
            • So show me some action - Danny, Sun Jan 28 15:38
              Danny emitted a vexed huff of dissatisfaction. He understood why Holland wasn’t thrilled with that response, but what did they want him to say? That sure they could just go on a few dates like nobody ... more
              • Is that a proposition? - Holland, Sun Jan 28 20:34
                Holland once again had the feeling, like they had gotten last year in the Lyra practice room, that they were having this conversation wrong—like they were being tested on a chapter they hadn’t... more
                • Let's say Yes - Danny, Mon Jan 29 09:53
                  “I am interested .” Finally Holland had said something definitive. “I like you.” The tightness in Danny’s chest was alleviated, and it was sensational to hear those words spoken, but they did not... more
                  • I can’t just yet - Holland, Mon Jan 29 12:41
                    Holland sighed. Sure, now that Danny had said they should both just forget about this and Holland had agreed, why not explore a scenario in which they had gone on successful dates and wanted to keep... more
                    • Tease - Danny, Tue Jan 30 06:44
                      “Right,” he agreed immediately that Holland had practise handling situations. They had previously discussed that dating was easier for Danny than it was for Holland; just because it was suddenly less ... more
                      • You started it - Holland, Tue Jan 30 12:05
                        “I remember,” Holland said, in a tone suggesting there was no need for elaboration. First-year Holland had been able to handle first-year Danny well enough for him to get over his prejudicial... more
                        • You can finish it - Danny, Tue Jan 30 14:29
                          Holland laughed at Danny’s suggestion, which was definitely a reasonable reaction, although it also sounded suspiciously like Holland wasn’t instinctively and immediately ruling out that option. “But ... more
                          • I think I will - Holland, Tue Jan 30 15:35
                            Danny took Holland’s hand, and they had that sensation of being shocked again, like a shudder that went all the way down to the base of their spine. After the whole intense circuitous conversation... more
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