If only you'd let me talk more
Mon Jun 5, 2017 00:23

Holland’s I like you too didn’t give him the satisfaction it should have. Largely because it sounded like an automatic response, something hen had said just as a way to shut him up before launching into yet more criticisms against his perspective. The frown returned to twist across his face as Ruben listened to what could basically be summarized as accusations against his intelligence - as if he hadn’t thought through his actions. Which, okay, he could admit that some parts of it, like the origin of these events, he thought about more in the retrospective than the moment-of, but acting in the moment had never failed him before. Leaping into situations wasn’t always responsible, but it was always the most efficient approach.

This wasn’t the first time that he’d been on the receiving end of a debate with Holland. Dating aside, he couldn’t imagine making it through even a few months’ worth of classes together without hen whipping out some idea or another that merited a well-thought-out discussion. But this was the first time that hen appeared to be getting genuinely emotional. Holland was no longer looking at him like he was someone to be scared of. Again like the I like you too, this didn’t leave him feeling any relief, since instead hen looked angry.

Ruben could feel his heart thudding slower in the telltale sign of his own anger rising, taking over a portion of his earlier confusion. The Swede had fully expected Holland to recognize the truth in his comment about their upbringing; it was a totally valid point, and he’d been under the impression pretty much since their first meeting that hen had a sympathetic awareness of diverse backgrounds and views. This combined should have calmed hen down somewhat, he thought. But, nope, hen had skimmed over that point and taken it in a different (wrong) direction.

For one thing, if his goal was to silence others, he would’ve gone about it much differently to see that goal actually fulfilled; Holland having learned about these events in the first place was proof of that. For another-- “I never said that it was easy for me,” he protested, unable to let that one slide because how could Holland honestly think that all of this came easily? Whether talking about physical skill or mental focus or anything in between, well, none of it could’ve existed without years of rigorous practice. But, ugh, now Holland was standing up as if to walk off, so he had to drop that train of thought.

“Wait, Holland, vänta. Just…” Ruben reached out, wanting to take hens hand, but reluctantly stopped and drew back before it got too far, teeth clenching at the frustration of wanting to just hold Holland and reassure hen but knowing that was definitely a Bad Idea with the scared/angry vibe hen was giving. He sighed, frown sliding off, and turned unhappy blue eyes to Holland’s. “Can we-- will you let us talk about this later? When you are comfortable again? To have it left like this…” He made a vague gesture between them, still feeling annoyed but more helpless now at their threat to go to Pearl Street, where he couldn’t follow. There was literally no reason why Holland shouldn’t feel safe. He was the safest person to be with, really.

  • Maybe you’re talking too much - Holland, Sun Jun 4 21:34
    To his credit, Ruben sounded like he meant it when he said he would never hurt them. Holland really wanted to believe that. It was true that until the last two days, they’d never remotely thought... more
    • If only you'd let me talk more - Ruben, Mon Jun 5 00:23
      • Your actions spoke for themselves - Holland, Mon Jun 5 21:57
        Apparently, Ruben’s biggest priority right now was to object that it was not easy for him to get into fights with people. As a person, Holland was primed to spot discrepancies, and Ruben had... more
        • I do prefer actions over words - Ruben, Wed Jun 14 12:01
          It didn't resolve any of his confusion about the unnecessary debate they'd wound up in, but Holland's confirmation that they could at least talk about it later was somewhat reassuring. Ruben would... more
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