Professor Samuel Boot
New Student Orientation
Wed Jun 20, 2018 11:04

It was clear to Professor Samuel Boot that something was afoot. Amiss. Awry. Up to no good.

The house-elf that had fetched him for the third year running had received an earful, and it wasn’t about a goblin rebellion, a leprechaun uprising, or even pancakes. Samuel Boot was displeased that he was being forced by the surprisingly Welsh Headmaster to be out and about and escorting new students places once again. He had thought that by encouraging them to incite a rebellion last time, he would have been scot-free this year. Unfortunately, none of the little buggers had bothered to implement their rebellion. Samuel had secretly marked all of them down during class that year for that reason. Essay? O. Uprising? He would have given them all Ts except that trolls had managed a good uprising or two so Ds it was. Ds for all. Overall grade: E.

That would teach them to fail a simple rebellion. Pah.

He had a better plan this year, though, and as soon as he arrived in the entrance hall with the tiny little first years and the annoying theater-man, he put it into action. It wasn’t unusual for him to explain to the stragglers in the crows how to avoid the Lethifolds that snuck around the corridors or the Nargles that hung from the ceiling, but this year Samuel instead chose to whisper to them about other things, like cupcakes and butterflies. The tour of the school began, with the theater-man explaining all the marvelous things about RMI and Samuel found it difficult to keep muttering about cupcakes and butterflies, but he knew it was for a good cause. After a little while, he got into the swing of it and began talking of butterfly cupcakes and cupcakes that could fly and somehow that got him started on the Pixie Problem of 1779 and soon the tiny little firsties were learning all about one of the more formative events in the colony of Florida in the 18th century and perhaps Samuel was speaking just a bit louder than the theater-man but he was more interesting anyway.

Once the tour of the school was over, theater-man took the parents to another room to explain other, more boring things to them and Samuel was left alone with the children. Now it was his time. The moment he had been preparing for!

“Children, children, boys and girls and anyone else, there is an important task,” Samuel said. He walked over to a long table with fruits and cookies on it and with a quick and artful whisk that barely moved any of the items on top of the table, removed the tablecloth. Underneath the table were all manner of things, which Samuel had instructed the house-elves to place there. Sharpened spikes, tarps, spell-o-tape, pipe cleaners, and ping-pong balls were among the materials provided. “Now that you are students here,” or at least, Samuel was pretty sure that was why they were there. He narrowed his eyes and looked around, before ascertaining that it was unlikely there were any goblins in disguise. “You must contribute! These are all the materials you need to build your own manticore traps. All of the older students have already completed theirs.” Samuel looked around, hoping to see looks of terror on the faces of the new students. Disappointingly, he couldn’t tell much of a difference. Still, he soldiered on. “Chop chop,” the professor said, as brightly as one could really manage after one had been forced to leave the comfort of one’s office to interact with students of all things. “Before they catch you!”

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