Eugene Hardie
Playing Picasso
Sat Sep 22, 2018 20:20
2a02:c7d:7096:e000:7ca9:29b7:2cd6:9897

Eugene had only been back at RMI for two whole days and even though RMI was the best place ever (after Disneyland, duh) he was missing his family. His mom, Jeb, brothers and sisters and his new baby niece, Billie. It was nice having Leopold around but it made him sad that he couldn’t cart them all back to RMI with him. It was extra sad because Eugene was ninety-percent sure babies were like goldfish and forgot everything every five minutes. This sucked because it meant Billie had already forgot all about him which was so unfair because Eugene had made Billie happy gurgle lots more than everyone else-obviously he was meant to be the favourite uncle! In order to right the universe and restore his place as Favourite Uncle in baby Billie’s mind, Eugene had crafted a clever plan to keep him forever in her little pea sized brain. He was going to send home a self-portrait! Brandy (Eugene’s sister and Billie’s mom) could show it to the baby every night and everything would be great again.

But Eugene understood self-portraits weren’t totally unique. For all he knew Leopold had already sent one home, and Eugene did know, Leopold was great at colouring inside the lines which was tough to compete with. So he’d had to think extra hard on how to make his portrait particularly memorable. Luckily, Eugene was great at thinking and he came up with perhaps the best idea of his life- after ghost hunting club, of course. He was going to paint his portrait with ketchup and fries! This way, baby Billie could smell and taste Eugene as well as admire the wonderful outline of his face. There was no way Leopold could top that.

He pulled up a chair in the diner opposite another student and slammed a piece of parchment down on the table. After ordering a plate of fries he squeezed out a healthy blob of ketchup and quickly set about his work, dipping a french fried potato into the red paste and, using the thinly sliced potato as brush, began dabbing enthusiastically on the parchment. Soon enough he had created two red ovals, intended to resemble his eyes, but which in reality looked more like some squashed tomatoes. Feeling rather smug, Eugene decided to take a break, being an artistic genius was kind of exhausting, he suddenly understood how Van gogh might have been driven to chop off his ear. He smashed the fried potato he’d been using as a paintbrush into his mouth and reached for another from his plate. It was only then that he took a second glance at his work and realised something didn’t look quite right. Was his self-portrait turning out a little too good? If it wasn’t gritty and realistic enough Billie might not recognise him during the holidays and it would all have been for nothing!

“What do you think?” Eugene asked his silent companion, holding the page up against his face, his eyes growing wide beneath his glasses in an effort to replicate the artwork, “does it look like me?”

  • Coping - Brynjolf Nilssen, Sat Sep 22 09:45
    Adjusting was hard. Since the morning he’d woken up to complete silence, Bryn’s life seemed to be upside down. At first, he had thought that it wasn’t going to be so bad, this whole not hearing... more
    • Playing Picasso - Eugene Hardie , Sat Sep 22 20:20
      • How inspirational - Brynjolf, Wed Sep 26 21:12
        Bryn scanned the piece of parchment that the quill had darted over, the neat writing of the enchanted item significantly neater than his own scrawl. Does it look like me? The picture that was in... more
        • I always wanted to be a role model - Eugene, Sun Sep 30 18:55
          Eugene’s portrait was uncanny! He didn’t exactly know what uncanny meant but it was probably a good thing. Well, he thought, glancing at his artwork, this was some of his best work, uncanny had to be ... more
          • And you'll be a great one, I'm sure - Bryn, Sun Oct 7 17:14
            Brynjolf blinked one or twice as he tried to watch the young boy’s mouth move instead of relying on the quick quill. He’d taken a moment to tune it to the other student, as they were currently... more
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