Marley Chapman
Am I still an actor if I know the role but not myself?
Tue Oct 2, 2018 22:01

Glancing down, the girl saw that the reason why her hand felt hot was because it was wrapped around a mug of steaming cocoa. Also her skin was pretty dark, like the cocoa, or at least like the part of the cocoa that didn’t have cream dissolved in swirls into it, but comparing her skin to food brought on a twinge of Grump that she assumed was because of all the subtle and not-so-subtle levels of racism in both food-oriented language and the food industry in general. Oh okay, so she wasn’t just some kind of African heritage (or maybe just some kind of African...? But nah, that didn’t feel right, though she couldn’t say why it didn’t feel right, only that it just had to be a matter of heritage and not personal life experience in Africa for, well, whatever reason), she was also some kind of social activist or whatever. Someone who was very aware of racial inequalities and stuff. Okay. She could work with that.

Glancing further down, she saw that she was wearing a leather jacket. The collar was popped high and brushed against her jaw, which made her wrinkle her nose automatically though again, no idea why, and from her looking-down angle she could see that the jacket lining was bright red. It was all very gangster, except that also had racial connotations and was a silly assumption too, and wow, all these spontaneous thoughts about racism were enlightening but also kind of unproductive. They were really slowing down her attempts at figuring out who she was. But probably she should be trying to figure it out from more than just appearances since you could but shouldn’t judge a book by its cover... see, there it was again! Hmph.

Turning her attention off the gangster badass leather jacket, she took a slurp of hot cocoa and then began rifling through the stack of papers in front of her. It looked like a script, like the type of script you’d have for a play, right down to the stage directions and character names. One name was marked throughout in purple highlighter: El Gallo. Was that who she was supposed to be? Was ‘El Gallo’ the person who wore gangster badass leather jackets for whatever this play was? Orrrrr was she the jacket person and just happened to be carrying around a script for something else? How was she supposed to tell??

And also, there was literally hundreds of people and their food milling around her on this giant train, so did that mean they were all in the play together and, like, they were travelling to their next destination? Some of them seemed to be practicing really loudly, and one boy in particular caught her attention, as he was shouting about his leg and very convincingly acting like he was freaked about it missing. She started flipping through her script more intently, trying to find the scene he was rehearsing so she could read along, but quickly got distracted people-watching. Between that, and the bunch of younger kids wearing witches’ capes, and the couple girls in ridiculously fancy dresses, and last but definitely not least, the fact that she had apparently gotten so much in character she’d forgotten both who she was and who the rest of the cast were -- well between all of that, this had to be a really interesting play. Probably one of those intense alternate-reality genres, with abstract set design and music that was a hybrid of ethereal acoustics and dwub-dwub synthesized repetition and altogether intended to suck the audience out by their souls. Metaphorically.

Raising a confused eyebrow at a man in a wheelchair who looked like one of the only adults present, even more confusing as he seemed to be engaged in a very serious-looking conversation with a little boy in a cartoony shirt, she moved to keep flipping through her script but then noticed another person holding papers. Ooh perfect, she could get their help on her acting and then hopefully use it as a route to figure out how she’d gotten so deep into this acting role! Assuming they weren’t also stuck in their own character and forgotten who they were, too… She took another slurp of cocoa to finish it off, stood up, and made her way over to them. “Hiya!” she greeted them, trying to sound like nothing was at all weird about this situation because, nope, she hadn’t screwed up and gone far enough down the acting hole to lose herself along the way, nope not at all. “Ummm who are--” nope, too obvious that she didn’t know “--I mean d’you wanna rehearse lines or something? I’m totally in the zone. Totally.” If whoever she was outside of her acting role was normally the type of person to over-use ‘totally’, that might’ve also been too obvious, but she had an (again unexplainable) feeling it wasn’t.

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