Just a minor maze
Sat Feb 10, 2018 01:26

Unrestricted? Marley seized on the word, feeling her hopes rise a little stronger. If Claudia thought that ‘her’ culture (whatever that was; coming from a mixed Mediterranean and South American and African family tree, it made for a pretty wacky cultural fondue) was unrestricted, then it was the same as saying she thought her own culture was restricted. And, okay, considering her perspectives on other things, like marriage, Claudia probably didn’t have the same negative opinion of what the word ‘restricted’ stood for. But still. She said she was appreciating Marley’s unrestricted-ness, or trying to, which meant she thought it was possible to, which meant something.

She then went on to state that gender did matter. That seemed counter-productive, since Marley’s whole spiel just moments before had been all about reasons why gender didn’t matter and Claudia presenting the opposite argument wasn’t exactly surprising but it also wasn’t exactly a proper argument in the first place. She didn’t even list any reasons for why gender could matter! That was perplexing, and the Lyra found herself also frowning while she tried to piece it together.

Wait, no, Claudia did give one reason: attraction. That was kind of a good point. Like, she knew it wasn’t necessary to be attracted to someone in order to date them, precisely because it was totally possible to be attracted to someone yet remain friends-only and so obviously the opposite could be true as well. But whether or not she was really attracted to Teal was a question that Marley still didn’t have a one-hundred-percent-solid answer for… Although the thought did make her cheeks feel warmer. So.

She sorta shrugged at Claudia’s half-finished question, not sure what exactly her friend was asking but pretty sure it had to do with the whole attraction-versus-not bit. “I dunno, exactly. Maybe I agreed at first just to be nice, and I guess I’ll never know that for sure ‘cause of the Veritaserum. But when we actually went out, that was… different,” Marley summarized. Claudia’s use of the word ‘different’ had been uncomfortable, since it clearly hadn’t been her first choice, and she was hesitant to repeat the word now, but she didn’t know what else to call it. But she didn’t want to leave it vague either, and added, still blushing under dark skin, “Like, holding hands, it made me so… happy-skittery inside,” she smiled, “and that’s basically the same feeling when I like someone. But it’s not like I’ve ever held hands with a boy. I can’t compare it.”

Pausing, her smile faded and she looked worriedly at Claudia. “That doesn’t change anything with us, though. Right?” Her dad had a boyfriend once. That was a looong time ago when Marley was, like, seven or eight... No, seven and eight. Dad introduced her to Mr. Jaime when she was staying over Thanksgiving weekend, and Mr. Jaime had been at their dinner table the next year, too. But then they had broken up, probably. All that she knew was that she’d overheard an argument between her mum and her white grandparents, who’d come to visit and been surprised by Mr. Jaime, something about how it wasn’t right and more words her little-kid brain had forgotten, and then Mr. Jaime was gone. That had been sad at the time. She had gotten over it quickly, since she was so little and had lots of stuff to keep her busy, but now she was thinking about it again and feeling sad again and what if she was gonna have to choose between Claudia and Teal? How could she possibly pick her friend/crush over her BFF?

  • This isn't a shape, it's a mess - Claudia, Wed Feb 7 07:11
    Claudia didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until Marley spoke, and the paler girl felt her chest tighten; she reminded herself to breathe and that helped lessen her physical discomfort.... more
    • Just a minor maze - Marley, Sat Feb 10 01:26
      • Show me to the exit - Claudia, Sat Feb 10 07:59
        She didn’t know. How could a person not know if they were attracted to someone? Claudia would concede she was hardly an expert on the matter, but she thought she understood attraction. She had even... more
        • Oh no. Claudia’s answer was actually a non-answer, and she didn’t want to assume that a non-answer meant a no but it definitely wasn’t a yes either and that made it seem like Marley was gonna have to ... more
          • This is a one-way street - Claudia, Sun Feb 11 06:06
            Marley was frowning still, and the expression looked so out of place on her usually cheerful friend that Claudia felt bad for causing it. Yet she also felt - much as she had in previous conversations ... more
            • With a dead end - Marley, Sun Feb 11 12:01
              “Marley, I’m trying.” She wanted to say something - anything - in response to that, but there were too many options. She could retort with a ‘not very well’, to point out how Claudia was disrupting... more
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