I can only show you if you agree to follow me
Sat Feb 10, 2018 18:32

Oh no. Claudia’s answer was actually a non-answer, and she didn’t want to assume that a non-answer meant a no but it definitely wasn’t a yes either and that made it seem like Marley was gonna have to choose after all. Oh no. Why couldn’t this be easier? She really enjoyed their friendship, but there kept being weird small things that they disagreed on that weren’t very small after all, and disagreeing was fine and totally normal but also disagreeing about something like this was wrong. She hadn’t believed that Connor was racist or suddenly that had been revealed. She didn’t believe that Claudia was racist, either, and she hadn’t imagined that her friend could possibly be homophobic, but the way she was talking was just… She didn’t want to think it could be true.

“Why would you want to make your life harder for no reason?”

“Harder?” Marley echoed, frowning again, disbelief clear in her voice. Her chest still had that uncomfortable tightness, but in addition she was starting to feel upset. Well, maybe upset wasn’t the right word. Upset was when they had fought about Connor and her throat closed up and she started crying. Right now, sure, her throat was tighter too, but even more than that, her arms felt a bit shaky even though they were just resting on the table, and her feet were restless-bouncing from their position tucked under her chair, and the feeling of Claudia’s non-answer was in repeat through her whole body, and -- “It hasn’t been harder. At all. Literally the only time it’s been hard is right now.” She punctuated this with a frustrated knuckle-whap on the table between them.

Frustrated. Yup, that was a better word for it.

“People can like more than just one gender, you know,” she pointed out, trying to keep her voice quiet(ish) but struggling because her poor dad. How had she never put one and one together to figure out the homophobia within her own family until now? “There’s nothing wrong about liking boys and girls. And there’s nothing wrong with me for liking boys and girls, or dating boys and girls! And even if I did only like boys but was dating girls, well, why d’you have a problem with that, anyways? That’s between me and the person I’m dating. It’s not your problem. It’s not like we’re dating. And no,” Marley added, trying very hard not to roll her eyes and doing a surprisingly good but unsurprisingly not perfect job of it, “just because I like girls too doesn’t mean I like you like that. You don’t have to, to push me away, or be embarrassed or awkward or whatever this is about.”

  • Show me to the exit - Claudia, Sat Feb 10 07:59
    She didn’t know. How could a person not know if they were attracted to someone? Claudia would concede she was hardly an expert on the matter, but she thought she understood attraction. She had even... more
    • I can only show you if you agree to follow me - Marley, Sat Feb 10 18:32
      • This is a one-way street - Claudia, Sun Feb 11 06:06
        Marley was frowning still, and the expression looked so out of place on her usually cheerful friend that Claudia felt bad for causing it. Yet she also felt - much as she had in previous conversations ... more
        • With a dead end - Marley, Sun Feb 11 12:01
          “Marley, I’m trying.” She wanted to say something - anything - in response to that, but there were too many options. She could retort with a ‘not very well’, to point out how Claudia was disrupting... more
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