Are you trying to pull me back down?
Tue Mar 14, 2017 00:07

When Francine reached towards him, he reacted automatically, pulling his hand free of his trouser pockets to wrap it around hers. She believed him. She believed him. Finally, out of this entire hellhole that RMI had become in less than two weeks’ time, someone believed him.

Lucien put on a good (normal) face in his day-to-day life, but when he inevitably wound up back at Draco for the night... Needless to say, he didn’t sleep very much any more. There were just too many thoughts rolling around his head, all centred around the fact that he was being repeatedly disbelieved for the truth, and it was easier just to spend the night hunched over one of his books by wandlight as he worked through new lists of potions. Being disbelieved had never bothered him too much in the past, but the ferocity of it this time around was different. He was already at the point where he would’ve happily taken anyone to believe him, no matter how trivial their presence were in his usual life. So for it to be Francine - well, that was big.

He realized he was holding her hand a bit harder than he should, and made himself ease up as she continued talking. Okay, now he was confused again. Francine said she believed him, but she was also trying demonstrate why he was wrong. So she thought he was wrong? Even though she believed him? Which could mean that she believed he believed he was right, except that was still wrong because he was right. If anyone could handle that sort of mental conundrum, Lucien supposed it would be her, yet it was bizarre. Her example was equally bizarre, and he didn’t want to be angry at her, but still he felt himself getting angry again. So it was maybe a good thing that she continued on talking without giving him space to respond yet.

Francine squeezed his hand at one point, but he didn’t return it, too focused on her words for it to properly register, face drawn into a slight frown. This expression remained on his face as she asked him his thoughts. Whether it made sense was impossible to say at this point, but she deserved something more than that.

“Well... if it was you, I wouldn’t want you to feel unsafe,” he acknowledged firmly. That part was easy. “And obviously, if someone was calling me a girl, I would really not like that. But no-one would say that boys don’t exist, because of course there are two and I present myself as a bo--” Feeling like he was drawing himself back into a corner, Lucien cut himself off and shook his head with a grimace. “Sorry. That’s what kept happening with Holland. Just... circles and circles. But that’s the issue I see with it, really. I just - it’s not logical to me, how more than two can exist. And changing pronouns isn’t the same as just changing names. Right?” It wasn’t meant to sound like a question, because it certainly felt like two different things to him, but it still came out that way.

  • She listened. He talked, and she listened. She wouldn’t have asked if she didn’t plan on hearing him out. And as Lucien went on, she found herself getting, surprisingly, less upset. He seemed genuine ... more
    • Are you trying to pull me back down? - Lucien, Tue Mar 14 00:07
      • I'm mostly just trying to quote Adele - Francine, Tue Mar 14 01:20
        “Well... if it was you, I wouldn’t want you to feel unsafe.” Francine smiled. It was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. This was progress. He got the threat of the situation, at least a little... more
        • That may be a more admirable goal - Lucien, Tue Mar 14 17:23
          Lucien had read up a little on gender stuff before now. The topic hadn’t been remotely relevant in his life until his third year, which was when Holland arrived at RMI; subsequently, his trips for... more
          • I'm nothing if not admirable. - Francine, Tue Mar 14 20:52
            Francine was, as almost anyone knew, not really a big reader. If it was a really good story, then she could get into it, but if she wasn’t super in love with it, she had to drag herself through. She... more
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