I guess I'll take what I can
Thu Aug 31, 2017 22:28

“We could pick a gender neutral name.”

Marissa’s suggestion implied to him that his rambling circle had made some kind of sense. He nodded in response. “Yeah.” The fact that names had genders at all didn’t really make sense to him. Well, names in general didn’t really make sense. They were just words that people called each other by, and there were different expectations or interpretations of names all over the world, too. So what was even the point in assigning names? ….er, beyond the convenience of not saying Hey you all the time and getting confused about who you were talking to. That was helpful. But beyond that, names were useless. Russell himself didn’t feel particularly attached to his name and wasn’t sure he felt like whoever a Russell was supposed to be - although he felt even less like a Sterling, which was his middle name, so he was grateful that order hadn’t wound up reversed, at least.

Despite his philosophy of naming (or rather, his lack of philosophy on the topic), Russell considered seriously her suggestions for a moment before shrugging. “The first one, I guess? Casey? And then, umm, I’m not super keen on picking one surname.” Unlike first names, which were pointless in most ways, surnames had weight. Like, he would always be a Drew. There were consequences of that family line that he literally couldn’t shake off, not even if he shook hard enough that his eyeballs fell out because the genes would still be there, and the thought of hiding from it by changing his name like a lot of people (okay, mostly women) did when they settled down with a partner seemed a waste of effort to deny the truth. “So let’s just do a mash-up. Like, Drewick… no, Kendrew. That sounds almost good.”

He then had to immediately work hard at trying not to burn up in a firey blush of awkward heat when Marissa continued on with the claim that they were friends. She sounded like she was trying to reassure him. Reassurance was a futile attempt, Russell knew; the last time he had been truly reassured was when his dad had told him that it was OK, he could stay under the bed, and then turned off the lights and walked out of his room without making him go to school. But pretty soon he couldn’t fit under the low bed anymore, and that was the end of feeling reassured. “Oh,” was all he could manage. He watched the baby for a bit, noting how its hair perfectly matched Marissa’s mid-grey curls, and finally tilted his head up to look at her instead. “Th-thanks? No, that’s weird,” he muttered, looking down again, but forced a small smile. “I don’t have a ton of friends. If you couldn’t tell. Dunno how to do it. But, um, if it - if Casey has, like, your friend skills, and my--” what on Earth did he have to offer? “--whatever, it’ll be fine. We can do this!” The little fist-pump he offered was nowhere near enough to justify exclamation-marking his attempt at a rousing cheer. More of a rousing slump, really.

  • We tried - Marissa, Sat Aug 26 22:29
    Marissa smiled. She was feeling a little better too. Having a place to hide out, where people weren’t talking about sex and it didn’t feel like anyone was staring at her, helped. There was no way... more
    • I guess I'll take what I can - Russell, Thu Aug 31 22:28
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