Once in a blue moon
Thu Sep 21, 2017 16:28

Dade was quiet for a long time. Holland waited. They would’ve preferred to have this conversation sitting down, but the stacks seemed more private, so that was all right. They read the titles of the books on the shelf Dade had returned his book to, not looking at him in case that was too much pressure. Cursing the Competition: A Charioteer’s Guide. Hellacious Hexes. The Malevolent Manual (3rd ed.). Secrets of the Darkest Art. Not all of the titles were in languages Holland could read, and not all of the books had titles, but they seemed to be in the Sketchy Magic section of the library. Holland filed that information away for the future.

Eventually, Dade spoke. “Rose thinks,” Holland began, with gentle correction, “that you… might be questioning your gender, or questioning the way you want to express your gender. And Rose is smart, but out of my close friends she probably knows the least about gender stuff, so she called in an expert,” they added, with a vague wave toward at themself.

Marissa was generally knowledgeable about queer things, and Holland had spent more time talking to their fellow Lyras—especially Emmett—about it than Rose. Rose had listened when Holland had explained, they thought, but she hadn’t asked questions. Holland didn’t mind not getting questions. Rose had just sort of accepted that this was the way things were whether she really understood it or not. Her reaction to Lucien last year had made it pretty clear how she felt about people misgendering her friend.

“But it doesn’t matter what Rose thinks, or what I think. It just matters what you think. If you feel like you might be trans or nonbinary, that’s your business. And it’s up to you whether you want to do anything about it, and what things you want to do.” Holland had never truly shied from presenting the way they wanted to, but it wasn’t an unequivocally good idea for everyone. They wouldn’t, for example, advise a twelve-year-old pureblood who ran the risk of disownment to come out. “Oh, and it’s—it’s just ‘nonbinary,’ not ‘a nonbinary.’ It's an adjective.”

  • Sometimes I'm agreeable - Dade, Thu Sep 21 06:46
    Wow Holland said a lot of words. Wow. Dade’s hazel eyes grew very round as Holland explained gender, which was something that Dade had previously been entirely sure did not require any explanation.... more
    • Once in a blue moon - Holland, Thu Sep 21 16:28
      • So Rose thought he might be ‘questioning his gender’ or the way he ‘expressed his gender’. Dade scowled. He didn’t even know what that meant. He had mostly followed along with Holland’s explanation... more
        • Is it made of blue cheese? - Holland, Fri Sep 29 04:00
          Dade was back to looking surly, which Holland supposed shouldn’t surprise them. It seemed to be Rose’s brother’s default attitude. Just like how Rose defaulted to stubbornness, and Connor... more
          • Blue cheese isn't that blue - Dade, Sat Sep 30 15:48
            Well if this was what Rose thought was helpful, Dade didn’t want to see what Rose thought of as unhelpful . The helpful thing would have been to just ignore it and move on (okay, the yelling part had ... more
            • Maybe the moon is Swiss cheese - Holland, Sat Sep 30 19:19
              Holland maintained a practiced composure while Dade got defensive. Ah, shit. Dade might actually be some flavor of gender non-conforming. If he didn’t identify at all with what Holland had said, the... more
              • I don't think the Swiss are smurfs - Dade, Sat Oct 14 15:21
                Nope this was bad. Very bad. Holland kept talking and Dade just felt more and more uncomfortable. He kind of wanted to ask more questions, but he also very much did not want to ask more questions.... more
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