Holland
Maybe the moon is Swiss cheese
Sat Sep 30, 2017 19:19
108.48.162.157

Holland maintained a practiced composure while Dade got defensive. Ah, shit. Dade might actually be some flavor of gender non-conforming. If he didn’t identify at all with what Holland had said, the sixth-year didn’t doubt that Dade would just tell them they were wrong. Dade seemed like the kind of person who enjoyed telling people they were wrong. Especially when he was invested in them being wrong. But right now, Dade wasn’t telling them that they were wrong. He was arguing.

They took a breath. Holland had already been planning on not telling Rose about this conversation, but now they were definitely not going to tell her. Holland would just report that they’d talked to Dade about the gender thing. Rose probably wouldn’t ask for details, but if she did, Holland would just say that the conversation was between them and Dade.

For now—how were they supposed to navigate this without making Dade run away again? Or would it even be such a bad thing if he abruptly ended the conversation? He was upset now, but maybe if he had time to think about it, he would be calmer. After that, he knew where to find them if he wanted to talk about it more. As he had once informed Holland, they stood out.

“Maybe everyone does. To an extent,” Holland suggested carefully, trying not to sound skeptical. “I only know what I’ve felt like. And it wasn’t about not liking how the clothes looked, or how they fit,” they added, in case they hadn’t been clear about that when they’d described their clothes being uncomfortable for them. “It was more like, I would look in the mirror, and I just felt, like, gross and wrong. About the way my face was shaped, or my hair length, or other parts of my appearance that implied gender. From what my cisgender friends have told me, they don’t have that feeling. Even if they don’t like their hair or their clothes.”

Holland ran a hand through their blue hair. They liked it now, the color and the length. “So like I said, the clothes were a big part of it for me. There were other things that gave me the same feeling. My first-grade teacher sometimes addressed us as ‘boys and girls,’ and that made me uncomfortable in the same way, because I didn’t feel like either. Little things like that. I mean, it’s not the only way for someone to tell they’re nonbinary, but that was what it was for me.”

  • Blue cheese isn't that blue - Dade, Sat Sep 30 15:48
    Well if this was what Rose thought was helpful, Dade didn’t want to see what Rose thought of as unhelpful . The helpful thing would have been to just ignore it and move on (okay, the yelling part had ... more
    • Maybe the moon is Swiss cheese - Holland, Sat Sep 30 19:19
      • I don't think the Swiss are smurfs - Dade, Sat Oct 14 15:21
        Nope this was bad. Very bad. Holland kept talking and Dade just felt more and more uncomfortable. He kind of wanted to ask more questions, but he also very much did not want to ask more questions.... more
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