That's what I was trying to do!
Sat Mar 3, 2018 21:39

Forgetting about it sounded like the perfect way to handle the situation. It would be best for their friendship – Marissa desperately didn’t want Russell to go back to square one and be nearly incapable of talking to her – and then no one else had to know. She kissed Russell, and he turned her down. Even though she thought Russell was great, everyone else had a very different opinion, and she did not want to hear what everyone would have to say about this. Especially Rose.

Marissa knew that Rose had judged her super hard for the break up with Danny, even though her best friend never said so out loud. The redhead knew she wasn’t as smart as any of her friends, definitely not smart enough to get into the same schools as them, but she’d at least been… the best, socially. The thought that everyone would get to call her an idiot for everything involving Danny and then kissing someone who clearly didn’t like her… well, her stomach turned a little and she felt the prickle of tears sting her green eyes. She already knew she was an idiot; she didn’t need everyone else to know.

Russell said her name, and Marissa looked at the back of his head, mumbling a quick, “yeah?” before she wiped her eyes. He insisted again that this wasn’t her fault, which was clearly not true. Maybe it wasn’t one hundred percent her fault, but she kissed him. That was all her. She did the dumb thing, not Russell. She opened her mouth to say just that, but then he kept talking.

“I should’ve - acted like it was fine or something, instead of - I didn’t have to get all - it just surprised me - I didn’t mean to - am I gay?”

Something about the question made Marissa feel so tired. Despite the exhaustion that started to roll over her in waves, she collected herself. It was time to help someone else, which she was at least still good at. In theory. She was the worst at throwing parties, didn’t get the best grades, was an okay dancer at best, and she’d never get into the same colleges as her friends, but she could still help them when they needed her.

“I don’t know. Are you?” She knew about everything he’d told her so far, that he’d been kissed by another boy, so the revelation wasn’t necessarily surprising. “There’s nothing wrong with it if you are. I mean, I’m not straight either.”

  • Escape! Escape! - Russell, Wed Feb 21 22:52
    Now Marissa was apologizing, too, which in a way seemed to make more sense than when he had been apologizing. After all, she was the one who had initiated the whole kissing him thing (bleh). But for... more
    • That's what I was trying to do! - Marissa, Sat Mar 3 21:39
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