It's tough to break a habit
Sun Apr 14, 2019 15:57

At first Leo thought he was imagining it, that he’d only heard her voice because he’d been thinking about her but, when he turned around he saw that it was Petra, and Leo didn’t know how to feel about that.

Things had been so strange between them since the kiss. Petra hadn’t been unfriendly, or cold, but an awkwardness had hung in the air between them and Leo hadn’t known how else to deal with it, but to run away. Petra raised her hand, as if to touch him, and Leo felt his stomach flutter, but she lowered it just as quickly and the sensation drained away.

She had been at the party, he realised with a start. She had seen it all then, he reasoned; the kiss, the punches, and Leo’s cowardly exist. Yet, still after everything he had done she was standing before him asking if he was alright. He felt a surge of gratitude for her in that moment, but it was soon eclipsed by his own guilt. He looked down at her sadly, and slowly shook his head, wincing slightly when he found it still tender from the assault. “I’m fine,” he tried to insist, but the crack in his voice betrayed him, and he gave a humourless laugh. “Well, alright. I’ve been better, but you should see the other guy.”

And it was true. DJ was in a much worse state. Leo was used to being an outcast, in many ways he’d chosen isolation, but DJ had been fairly popular since he’d transferred in, and Leo had a hunch that more than a few of his friendships hadn’t survived the party. Leo would sorry for him if he hadn’t been such an ass, He’d been abhorrently unrepentant and self-pitying until the end, and Leo knew he wouldn’t be running around trying patch things up with the other boy. If he never saw DJ again he’d be a few steps closer to reaching contentment.

A lump had begun forming in his throat, and his shoulders sagged, weighed down by the understanding that he had wronged Petra, and that he had never even acknowledged it in front of her. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, and glanced down at his trainers. “I’ve made a mess of everything - not just tonight,” he confessed, forcing his gaze upwards, to seek her face, “what I did - that night on the pitch - I’m sorry.” His eyes had gone misty, and despite his best efforts, he blinked. A tear escaped down his cheek, and Leo hastily reached up to push it away. “My head was all messed up - but that’s no excuse. I shouldn't have done it. I should never have kissed you like that.”

  • Must we always meet this way? - Petra Stiglitz, Sun Apr 14 14:10
    Petra had watched all of it. Maybe she was just kind of unassuming in the background of the “TWAT” party, but she had eyes. Originally, the fifth-year hadn’t the slightest intention of attending the... more
    • It's tough to break a habit - Leo, Sun Apr 14 15:57
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