Having a Dubois tell them about a change in perspective felt familiar. In Danny’s case it had been about dating Marissa—ostensibly about dating Rachel, but Holland had felt his point was transparently about Marissa. Holland didn’t know what could have prompted such a change in Claudia, but they were curious. Unfortunately, they weren’t close enough with Claudia to press for an answer, as they had with Danny.
Claudia, Holland noticed with concern, seemed to be on the verge of tears, but she wiped away the one that had fallen before Holland could offer her a tissue. Holland would have agreed to help Claudia do her makeup regardless of her motivations in asking, but hearing her reasoning made them even more sympathetic to the cause.
The merits of controlling one’s appearance to feel stronger was familiar to Holland. They had started presenting as nonbinary before coming to RMI, and started dyeing their hair around the same time. Retrospectively, that seemed like a tactical decision on their parents’ part. Holland had wanted to change their hair color from its natural, boring brown for what (at that age) felt like an eternity, and right before they moved schools was a good time to do so. Holland’s new classmates had been more interested in blue hair than gender variance, so if their parents had allowed the hair dye as a strategic move, it had worked. They hadn’t started wearing makeup until their second year at RMI, though, mostly as a distraction from puberty. Since then, they had worn makeup most days. They always felt most confident and secure when they had contoured cheekbones that could cut through glass and drawn eyeliner wings that needed Federal Aviation Administration clearance. If that feeling was what Claudia was after, Holland could understand why.
“Looking good makes me feel stronger too. I think we can make that happen,” Holland said encouragingly. They glanced over the makeup they had assembled in neat groupings. “I’ve been told I stand out,” they added, quoting Dade, “so we can manage not being overlooked.” Holland was interested to know who Claudia felt had been overlooking her. The Cetus was perhaps well-described as being a wallflower. She wasn’t participating in any clubs as far as Holland knew, but that was her choice. While she wasn’t a social butterfly, she did seem to already be in a relationship, so it felt unlikely that she was trying to impress a boy.
Holland picked up a makeup sponge and started applying Claudia’s foundation. “What happened this year that was so terrible?” they asked, working outward from the center of her face.
From one of Marley’s many visits to their dorm for advice—the visit in question having been at an ungodly hour in the morning, even for Holland’s typical schedule of early rising—Holland knew that she and Claudia had argued about dating Connor. The younger years had apparently been having enough drama of their own to rival the sixth year class. Marley had told Claudia that she had a crush on Connor, and then Claudia had started dating Connor without telling Marley, and then Connor had accepted a date with Marley even though he was dating Claudia. Marley had come back to Holland’s room a few days later to update them that she had made up with Claudia but that Connor was a mean liar and an egghead, among other insults. The drama seemed resolved at this point (Marley’s most recent visit had been to talk about Teal Rosse and ask for outfit advice for a date), but the argument could have contributed to Claudia having a bad year.