It's making me crabby
Fri Jan 5, 2018 04:48

Closing her eyes and saying nothing while Holland continued to apply her make-up was very soothing for Claudia. It had been an especially tumultuous second part of the year, and perhaps she’d been left trying to figure out more that she could really handle in such a comparatively short space of time. It was hard to focus on who she was, and who she wanted to be, when the people around her - those she was closest to - continually surprised her about who they were. The past couple of minutes had further loaded her already full mind, leaving Claudia more confused than ever.

She wanted to go back to a few weeks ago, when she was best friends with Marley, and in a relationship with Connor. She liked her yearmates, more than she was prepared to admit, and it was unbearable having to separate herself from both of them so suddenly. She wanted to stay friends with them - she had elected to remain on speaking terms with Connor, largely because she had no other real friends, with Marley out of the picture, but it wasn’t the same as before - but their actions were battling against everything she deemed fit and appropriate. Was it right for her to compromise her own morals for the sake of allegiances?

Holland suggested that Marley and Teal dating wouldn’t hurt anyone. “It might hurt Teal,” Claudia pointed out, which was largely irrelevant because she honestly didn’t care whether Teal got hurt - it would serve her right for asking girls out on dates in the first place - but she had said it because it supported her perspective that this was wrong. Marley was wrong to be doing this. Claudia wasn’t perfect; she knew she had made some decisions of questionable morality, but when scrutinized, her actions had ultimately aimed to prevent her friends from coming to harm. It hadn’t turned out as she had expected, but that didn’t alter her intentions. It seemed as though Marley didn’t care about that. She didn’t care that maybe Teal really liked her (although Claudia still couldn’t fathom that Teal - a girl in her own class - could really want to date a girl. It was unthinkable, really), or that Claudia couldn’t be friends with her now. Honestly, Claudia didn’t know what Marley’s motives were here. She didn’t understand it at all, and that was immensely frustrating.

“I don’t understand why she’s doing it,” Claudia said, sullenly. “Being friends with Marley … it hasn’t always been easy. There’s so much we don’t agree on,” she admitted. “But she’s so nice, I really like having her as a friend,” Claudia focused on pressing her fingernails into her palms so she didn’t cry and ruin her make up as well as her new, more confident persona. “If we’re going to keep disagreeing, if she’s always going to do things that I don’t think are right, then there’s probably no point us being friends, anyway.”

  • You otter come up with something - Holland, Thu Jan 4 22:21
    Holland hadn’t meant to break Claudia by introducing her to the concept of plurisexuality, but it seemed for a moment that they had. How could Claudia be a teenager and not know that people could be... more
    • It's making me crabby - Claudia, Fri Jan 5 04:48
      • We need to re-grouper - Holland, Fri Jan 5 10:36
        “It might,” Holland agreed. There was some risk of pain attached to doing most things, and that didn’t make those things not worth doing. Marley’s intentions weren’t to hurt Teal; Holland had always... more
        • Play a different tuna - Claudia, Sun Jan 7 13:38
          Risk was a very personal concept. Claudia was taking a risk today with her statement dress and make up, but the risk was low: most people probably wouldn’t notice the change in her look, and of the... more
          • Don’t mind my carping - Holland, Mon Jan 8 06:44
            Holland chose the red lipstick—if you wanted to make a statement, why speak quietly?—and offered it to Claudia to apply. She had the lighted wall-mounted mirror to use in guiding her application of... more
            • Holland handed Claudia a red lipstick. It wasn’t a shade she would have chosen for herself, but Claudia trusted Holland’s judgment on make-up, if nothing else. She took it and turned to the mirror,... more
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