Progressing with quick, light steps through the theatre, Claudia soon arrived to find Holland waiting for her. Instantly they commented on her appearance, which was her main focus for the day, so Claudia first felt triumphant. Her secondary reaction was to be pleased that Holland’s comment had been positive; Claudia revelled in praise and blushed a little at the compliment. She wanted to make a statement to herself, as well as to others, but it was a welcome benefit that she looked appealing whilst striving to achieve this goal.
“No particular occasion,” Claudia considered as she seated herself ready for her makeup application. It was a special occasion, of sorts, but only to Claudia. She wanted to be more confident, and to have well-placed faith in her own judgments and actions. She yearned to be taken seriously by her peers and elders, and not to merely be a wallflower concealed under layers of pastels and propriety. Certainly she wished to maintain her high standards of behaviour, and continue to promote the morals and ideals she felt appropriate for a peaceful and functioning society, but she wasn’t a child any more. Claudia Dubois was a powerful and influential young woman… she simply had to convince herself (as much as anyone else).
“It’s just… a change of perspective,” Claudia offered. She couldn’t alter any of the terrible things that had occurred this term, but she could control the effects they had on her, and how she responded to them. “I want to be a stronger person,” she said, and in the moment that immediately followed, the third year did feel more assertive.
Unfortunately, subsequent moments caused her to consider why she felt this way. From the overwhelming humiliation caused by the boys’ laughter, to the crushing betrayal of her best friend participating in something so barbaric that it created an insurmountable rift between them, the undesirable emotions she had suffered compromised Claudia’s calm. “I’ve had such a terrible year,” she confessed to Holland, tears treacherously welling in her eyes. “I just need to feel in control.”
She was not off to a good start, Claudia considered as one single year dared to fall, leaving a fine, glistening trail down her cheek. Knowing she could not succumb to this melancholy, she sucked in a deep breath and hurriedly wiped her face dry with her hand. “So,” the Cetus girl said, with renewed, steady determination, “I don’t want to feel overlooked any more.”